[caringmom07]

Smokedetector do you how your mother approached your father about signing the papers. My husband is wanting to adopt my children also. I know everyone say that we need to try our best to contact the father and have him to sign the papers. Well I was really young when I had my children so I didn't choose a mature man to have kids with. So just in case we find the bio father I wanted to know how should I approach him about signing over his rights...

Thanks

[smokedetector]

Well I assume she probably called him and they talked about it, or met up and talked. My father was 12 years older than my mother, and she would have been around 35 at the time, so they were pretty mature. I don't know if this would work for you since you said he isn't very mature. In my own opinion, I wouldn't be mean or hateful or anything. I would probably just talk to him calmly, rationally, and get to the point. Say my husband wants to adopt my kids. Could you please sign this? And maybe throw in how he won't have to pay child support anymore, if that's something that would interest him. Basically if he is out of your life as it is, there shouldn't be a problem, but then again some people will do anything to hurt others. There are ways, if he doesn't sign, that your husband can adopt your kids without the bio fathers signature, whether you can't find him or he just won't sign. I will ask my mother when I talk to her how she did it, and if it's anything different than what I've said, I'll post. Best of luck to the both of you.

[ScottGem]

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

Do you know for sure he will object? If not, just approach him calmly and tell him that you are now in a loving relationship and your husband would like formalize his relationship with the kids..

If he does object you can point out this will relieve him of any support responsibility. If there is a standing support order, whether he pays or not, you can tell him that will go away and you won't pursue him for arrears. You can also offer to let him continue to be a part of the kids lives.