[Amna_Muzaffar]

I'm 22 years old and my parents have no plans to get me married until I'm may be 25 or 26 or may be more. So with the good intention of not committing any sin me and this guy that I liked we had our nikkah done but this was done in such a way that my parents were not present there with us. Me and my boy friend were sitting with his 2 guy friends and one of the friends was hafiz. He asked me 3 times if I accepted him as my husband I said yes and he asked the same question to my boy friend he said yes. Since then I have been having doubts in my mind that is it really a nikkah? Because a lot of people say that there are a lot of things included in it. So one day I asked my so called husband about our nikkah that is it for real and he got upset and mad at me that why am I doubting our relation for? Then he told me a hadith that prophet mohammad (saw) said- "2 jokes are taken seriously Nikkah and divorce" so I got quite and felt a little relief and the only reason we did it was that we did not want to commit any sins , I'm so afraid now that if its not a real nikkah then what would I do and how would I tell him and convince him , he gets mad every time I talk about it and thinks I don't want to be with him but I really love him what do I do? I need answers :(:( Another thing my parents know him and his family and they find him a nice guy and he really is and they have intentions to get us married InshALLAh but they are not ready for at least 5 6 years now and we could not just wait that long. :(

[firmbeliever]

Assalaam alaikum Amna,

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"What you must do now, if you want to set things straight and make your marriage in accordance with sharee'ah, is to do the marriage contract again, in the presence of the wife's guardian and with his approval.

It should be noted that you must hasten to set this matter straight, because your staying together now is haraam, because the marriage contract that was done between you before was not valid."
Islam Question and Answer - They were in a haraam relationship then they repented and got married without a wali (guardian); what should they do now?
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Islam Question and Answer - Her family do not want to arrange a marriage for her and she is thinking of an 'urfi marriage with no wali (guardian)


Insha Allah you will be able to convince your guardian/father to approve of your marriage in front of witnesses to make it valid.

Wa alaikum salaam.

[Amna_Muzaffar]

Walikum aslaam
Thank you very much for helping me out, but how do I convince my parents they are going to take may b 7 to 8 years to get me married, that's not fair:(

[firmbeliever]

Walikum aslaam
thank you very much for helping me out, but how do i convince my parents they are going to take may b 7 to 8 years to get me married, thats not fair:(

Assalaam alaikum,
Maybe if you explained to them that you are mature enough to marry .

And you mentioned that they already approve of the young man you have chosen for marriage,maybe you could ask your parents the exact reason for the delay in marrying.

Once you have the answer maybe you can talk with them and find a way to compromise.For example if they think you might be unable to support each other financially etc,you could explain how you plan to manage and by helping them calm their fears or worries you could overcome and get their approval for marriage,Insha Allah.

Wa alaikum salaam