[revolution79]

Ok... I’ve been going out with my co-worker(I also changed my schedule to match hers) for 4 months now and are doing it at least twice a month(shes too busy as she has another job). But she still going out with her other boyfriend of 4 years(they tried living together but it didn’t work out) because of benefits(ex. Discount airline tickets, dental etc.) and says that she love me more and that she only does it for her son.

I seriously want to end it, but I can't quit my job because I love what I do. Please. Help me what to do!:confused:

She also very sweet so it don’t help me at all!

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see, you are dating and having sex with a girl from work, ( doing it) sorry but don't sound very loving and caring.

And she loves you more but still wants to go out with this other man.
And she goes out with this other man for "benifits"

Well besides my opinion a very poor choice of ladies, why can't you just end the relationship, is she your boss ? Employee under you, or just a co-worker. And perhaps you can change your schedule back to your old one.

But you go in to work, do your job, and have to deal with her professionally. She is already dating someone else anyway, so she is not committed to you in the first place

[revolution79]

Just a co-worker, thanks for advice, maybe Ill just see how it goes :)

[Jayjay027]

Its not love if she's not prepared to leave this other guy. She's using benefits and her son as an excuse.

Come on, if she was really in love with you, cheap airline tickets wouldn't mean more to her than your relationship. She still wants to be with this other guy, and she's having a good time with you whenever she needs to release tension.
Im sorry if that's blunt, but sometimes you have to look at it from an outsiders point of view.

Airline tickets? Dental? COME ON!!

[fredg]

HI,
She enjoys your "company" in bed! That's all.
If she is still seeing her boyfriend, then that says it all; as far as love. She only wants to be with you for some "good times".
If you wish to end it, with a co-worker (which is not recommended in the first place), then just tell her you can't see her anymore; and leave it at that.
Either change your job, or just ignore anything that comes up, except doing your best at your current job. I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[bizygurl]

Well to be honest she sounds like she's using the both of you. Him for the "benefits" and you for the emotional void that she's trying to fill. Either way its not fair to the both of you. I agree with the others that she really isn't in love with you if she isn't going to give up her "benefits". She basically is having her cake and eating it too. If you really think about it; how "sweet" can this woman really be if this is the way she treats you.

As far as the job goes, that's a tough call. I personally think dating co-workers are always a bad idea.. because the problems that can arise if the relationsip goes sour. If you really feel that you need to end this... then end it. Who says you have to change your job? Im sure it will be akward in the beginning with this woman. but you can't keep taking her crap for the sake of "your job". Do what you need to do. Im sure you will probably feel a whole lot better if you listen to your heart... I think you already know what to do

[talaniman]

She's got it made with this "friends with benefits" arrangement, and if you don't want to be a part of it, don't participate! Take back control of your life and don't be used for sex.:cool: :eek:

[Chery]

Dear revolution, unfortunately, I have to agree with my fellow-forum members here.
It looks like she has the best of two worlds and is using it to the fullest.

You can continue this, as she's so sweet - as you say, but what will this bring you?? She has given up nothing, and you have given up your peace of mind, you changed your shift, and probably have given up more time and energy on this than she has.

Please look at this from a different perspective and don't feel a single bit of guilt if you see it the way we do. It takes two to make things work, and she's not going to give up anything - so please take the initiative yourself and go on with your life. Change your shift again, and get to know some other people OUTSIDE of the workplace.

Relationships at the workplace generally don't do so well, and can damage the career and reputation of one very quickly.

If you read some of the older threads regarding relatioships started at the workplace, you'll agree with us that this was a mistake, and that you still have time to take life in your hands and start living it.

Please keep us posted and let us know what your choice in this issue is, we are here 24/7 to try and help you through this.



Those of us who have 'been there, done that' wish you all the best.

[revolution79]

Thanks everyone, I’ll see how it goes.

[s_cianci]

I don't think there's much hope for this relationship as she doesn't seem like she wants to end it with this other guy. I'd end it with her once and for all. You don't have to quit your job ; whatever happened between the two of you personally is your business. You'll still have to maintain a professional relationship with each other but leave it at that. Find yourself a woman who's 100% available for you and you alone ; that's the only kind of relationship worth investing in.