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I really shy and
I need to know how to over come my shyness because I really like this guy but I'm to afraid to talk to him. Like last night I went to his concert(he plays in a local band) and every time he walked past me I would turn the other way or go to the bathroom. I fell like I'm not pretty enough or thin enough to talk to him. I can text him fine and talk to him on the phone fine but in person I just freeze up. Helpp.:confused:
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Hi, "Grandpa" here... It seems yourself confidence needs reinforcement. Try going to social gatherings, like church, and joining the choir. Some charity or group activity where your contributions are appreciated. Do not sell yourself short... Just be yourself... If someone likes that about you, you win. If they don't like that, you've been saved a bad relationship, that means you won. Either way, be yourself, and you win. Don't fear rejection as it's educational. We all face it in many ways, all our lives... Good luck...
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Firstly I'm sure that you are both pretty, and slim enough to talk to him!
All you need is a bit of a confidence boost. Which part of your body do you like? If its your hands, get a manicure. If its your legs, do to a salon and get a professional wax then show them off! And so on... Another point is not to come across too strongly on the texts, then he will see that you are shy and will take the lead. If your bold in your texts and shy in real life, he might think that your messing him about and avoiding him on purpose! When you get the chance make eye contact! Lower you chin and look at him out of the corner of your eyes. When he sees you, keep looking for 3 seconds then continue doing something else. By doing this your giving him a hint, but still making him chase you! Good luck! Lads respond to confidence, so be yourself. And always smile :) Xx |
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 Originally Posted by Camisado
No disrespect but this sounds like advice straight out of 1980 - make eye contact, lower your chin and look at him out of the corners of your eyes, look for 3 seconds and then look away - ? How about the next time he walks by you just say hi. He either responds or he doesn't. You say hi, he says something, you say something else and pretty soon you've got a conversation going. I'm less into the game playing, make him chase you stuff and more into an honest meeting and relationship. Be yourself without all the coy eye contact stuff - this dude is in a band; someone shy might really be refreshing and appealing to him. No need to come on strong. |
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I make sure I make eye contact with him when he is on stage then I give him an innocent smile. The whole walk past him and say hi is not my thing I would end up tripping or something. So that is a deff no. In my texts I'm still shy I'm not sure if he notices but I am. Im going to another one of his shows on Thursday so I really need advice on how to get his attention without having to speak to him first.
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How does one get to Carnage Hall? Practice, practice, practice. The best way to learn social skills? Practice, practice, and remember: do unto others as you would have them do unto you... just be yourself, you'll be fine...
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I am fine when it comes to guys I do not like but when I like a guy I get all shy and scared.
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That takes more self confidence, and less fear of rejection... more practice...
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Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
I'm a little confused - he doesn't know who you are but you are corresponding by text messaging? I certainly wouldn't do the walk by thing - you said he walks past you and you look the other way. Instead, when he walks by, you say hi. There's no other way around it - you have to break the ice because I don't see him doing it. |
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No he knows who I am
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Okay so here's some tough love...
Just jump in there! It sounds simple because it is. Things like: Initiating a conversation isn't hard, making the first phone call again not hard, asking a guy out on date... for the very last time not the least bit hard. Your biggest problem is you don't believe in you. You aren't confident in yourself and because of this I don't think it's beneficial to help you with tips on how to approach him... you're lacking confidence in your physical appearance so until you can tackle this problem and mature enough to realize it's not a problem to be imperfect and to be comfortable in your own skin... Your biggest challenge isn't approaching some guy: This is your challenge: "I fell like im not pretty enough or thin enough to talk to him." ~It's quite sad, you MUST approach this problem before you approach your crush quite frankly~ Good luck |
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Wow tough love is right. I do not feel like this all the time just around my crushes
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It just makes me sad to even think about you thinking you arent thin enough or pretty enough to talk to this guy... Really think about this.
What would you tell a friend in this situation (Ive told you what I'd tell a friend)? You see, no one can really help you if you are setting yourself up for failure... I don't know a lot of girls who think they are "perfect 10s and every guy's desire" but if your confidence is keeping you from a simple conversation with someone, crush or not... this problem has to be solved!! Not for this guy but to be a better you. I didn't mean to be rude or harsh but this seems to be an epidemic, where girls and young women focus so much on the outward appearance instead of what makes their personality great, their values etc. and the confidence seems to be getting lower and lower... I don't know if it's because of the "perfect images" we are bombarded with or not but life's too short and there are much more important things to fret about. (it pushes my buttons to see this problem so often) About the confidence... Try figuring out why this guy would be lucky to have you as his friend or girlfriend... what makes you great? Try not to focus on your limited view of him, he can't be perfect either ((no one is)) so it's really all about the perspective, don't put him on a pedestal above yourself! |
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Oh I'm not putting him on a pedestal. I'd have to say I only have low confidence when I really like the guy. And I agree I do need to work on that. But it is going to take too long and I want this guy while I think I may have him.
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I remember how that feels, I used to be painfully shy, anyone talk to me I'd go red from the neck up...
You just need to be relaxed, is there any chance that you might see him outside in public during the daytime, maybe bump into him on the street because that would be ideal. If it's a sunny day your going to have shades on so for a while this will act as your crutch so to speak, much easier because it's like a barrier and you will feel like he can't see you, a bit like texting really, you'll feel that you can say what you like, I know this sounds a bit strange but it really does work, by the time the sun goes down you'll have gained enough confidence not realizing that you no longer have your shades on. Try it.. it really does work |
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