[sheyelo]

Well, the inevitable happened on the 4th of July... our 3rd anniversary. Not exactly the kind of present I wanted to give or get. But at least everything went OK. We were in and out of the er in about 3 hrs. I think that was a record! I am supposed to go see my obgyn sometime next week. Yes, the one that I haven't even seen yet and I was 8 weeks prg. They couldn't get me in any sooner... even though I was bleeding and had already had a miscarriage last year. The whole experience has been one horrible thing after another. I think it was because of the insurance I was on. I lost my job at the first of the year due to the company closing and have been on unemployment. So of course I had to get on medicaid. They always look down their noses at people who have to have government help. But I lost a job where I was making 28,000 a year. Not much but it was better than nothing. And I had good insurance. It is degrading to me as well to have to get help from the government but I wanted what was best for my unborn child. But it doesn't matter now. Maybe when I finally get in to see my obgyn he can explain to me why this happened and why I couldn't get in to see him even though I was having problems. And maybe he can tell me if we can try again. I leave it in God's hands. I am still upset and depressed. And my fiancée is leaving in the morning to take a ride on the harleys with his dad and another friend to the smoky mountains for a week. I wasn't invited to go. Wish there was somewhere I could go or someone I could go with to be able to get this off my mind instead of sitting here doing nothing. But I don't have any money to go anywhere. Unemployment doesn't pay but $247 a week. His father is paying for him to go. But didn't have the courtesy to ask if I wanted to come along considering all that has happened. If this was the first time I wouldn't be so bitter. But it is the 4th time!! My fiancee's mom and dad are divorced and his dad always wants him to go with him on different rides and to different bike rallys. And we all know what goes on at those bike rallys! Naked women everywhere. Myself esteem is dropping by the minute. I don't like the way I am feeling!!

[DoulaLC]

So sorry...
Do you have friends or family close by that you could visit with or that could come to see you?
On the future inlaw issue... I'd talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling left out of the loop. Maybe they simply didn't think you would be interested? Even if you didn't end up going, to be invited would have been nice.