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kat2 · Jul 5, 2008, 04:36 PM

My son who is 19 in the Coast Guard bought his girlfriend an engagement ring. Today my husband and had long conversations with both of them. She is a firefighter he is in his first year as "coastie". Both are very driven to be successful, very honest,kind and respectful. But obviously in a rush.
We told them to put the ring in a safety deposit box and if they truly love and honor one another they will support one another in their commitment to grow.
They are good kids but only kids.
If my husband had hair he would have pulled it out by now.

Thanks for the advice and support!

Kat2

N0help4u · Jul 5, 2008, 05:02 PM

That is a good idea because often stressful demanding jobs like they have can lead to break ups alone. I would guess if their relationship lasts around 4 years of their careers then it will probably work.

Some Judges in divorces grant the ring back saying you aren't with him so why would you want it give it back, while others say it is a gift so it is hers. I would imagine in an engagement it would go the same.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 5, 2008, 05:15 PM

Sorry I guess while "fatherly" advice is good, butting out of your grown children's business is often the best, perhaps stay enganged but allow it to be a longer one, Making them decide to put the ring away will come back to bite you, ( my bet) Now if they break up in a little bit, they will blame dad for making them do this.

George_1950 · Jul 5, 2008, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by kat2

My son who is 19 in the Coast Guard bought his girlfriend an engagement ring. Today my husband and had long conversations with both of them... Both are very driven to be successful, very honest,kind and respectful. But obviously in a rush.
We told them to put the ring in a safety deposit box....Thanks for the advice and support!
Kat2

If they listened and followed his advice, they are still kids.

DoulaLC · Jul 6, 2008, 10:32 AM

Another thought... some people make a step toward a growing commitment with a promise ring first. Sort of training wheels before going to an engagement ring. Might be an option if they feel a need to have something tangible to show their commitment and love to each other.