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twylamaple · Jul 3, 2008, 05:34 PM

I am in a great deal of distress, my ex husband had hit my oldest son 10. I was living 400 miles away. When they finally got a hold of me, I wasn't sure to believe their dad or my son, do to my son lies, most of the time. It came out that he did indeed hurt him. Well me and my fiancée got into it and it resovled in a DV. 3 months latter my fiancée have gotten back together, we have reconsiliated are diffrences, and my boys have never lived with us. State steps in and says I have to have supervise visitation once a week and can talk to them when ever they are available. Now the story has changed, since that I am with the man I love, and the boys would rather me be alone and with no one, the state then says to my 10 year old and 8 year old they will be living with there grandmother (foster parent) until they are 18. What can I do? I mean I want to stay with my fiancée, and if I did move away, I still couldn't live with my kids, or be around them without supervise visitation. Can any one help me, with any advice!!

Thanks,
Twyla

Fr_Chuck · Jul 3, 2008, 05:37 PM

First there has to be a reason you don't have custody to start with, what are those issues, ( since the mother normally does not lose custody unless there is some serous issues.

So those issues need to be addressed if they have not been.
Also to be set for supervised visits, that means there is some resent threat they see.

You will have to get an attorney and file for custody in court and prove that any and all issues that CPS has are false.

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2008, 05:42 PM

I am not sure I am following. You said you were not with your husband and he had the kids and hit one. So what is their excuse for taking them away when you were not even with your ex? Why are they allowing your sons to dictate that you do not have a fiancé without proof of abuse by him? Did they tell you that you had to do certain things to get your kids back or did they just say 18 and that is it?
I know CPS can be beyond unreasonable but that is really messed up!

liz28 · Jul 3, 2008, 07:33 PM

What state do you live in? I suppose now you've to do whatever the state says and fight hard to get your kids.

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2008, 07:41 PM

If they said she can't have them until they are 18 then they did not say she could do anything to get them back.

Did they give you any papers stating their decisions?

Do you have any visitation rights?

J_9 · Jul 3, 2008, 07:56 PM

Are you still with the man that you had the DV with?

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2008, 08:12 PM

I think that IS the guy she said she is with.
Rereading it I was thinking she was saying it was saying it was resolved in a Domestic Violence class. Now I see she said meant it resulted in domestic violence.
----me and my fiancée got into it and it resovled in a DV
(I see what you mean about correct spelling)

Yes they will take your kids away for domestic violence. They tend to tell you you can get them back if it was the father IF he takes domestic violence classes, but when it comes to a *paramore* they tend to not be as understanding and usually take it as you picking the guy over your kids.

liz28 · Jul 3, 2008, 08:15 PM

In most cases you have up to 90 days to appeal a decision and file for a fair hearing. Once a decision is made after the fair hearing process,both parties must follow any decisions made.

I guess I should ask the op when the decision was made by cps and get a lawyer. Some tough decisions need to be made, especially if it means leaving your current partner. Nothing is written in stone and did you have to sign any papers after the decision was made.