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Simple Asian · Jul 3, 2008, 12:09 AM

hey... guys... I am pretty familia with this forum... been giving advised and getting advise... but still now.. I still need pplz helpz.. so if anyone can.. that would be so helpful ^^...

I am a 19 years old... just grad from high school... single... nice... average looking... but I never complain about anything nor wanted something...

anyway... I used to like this girl name ASHLEY so much that sometime I going crazy about her... she just so my type.. so click to me somehow someway I don't no why... it isn't love or nothing like that yet... but I just really like her...

I always a kind of guy that straight forward and do what I think is right... I asked her out to hang out... date would you say... but both of the time she said she busy with work and family... I never broke the 3 time asking because then I would be clingy or pushy...

but still I can't get my mind of her... so I kept trying to text her... calling her.. talk to her daily... one day I realized that I am the only one that go out my way talk to her or texing her and she never did once started a conversation..

I asked her why she wouldn't text me or call me... I saying like " you no ..you can text me or call me too ..i am not need to be the only one that text or call all the time ..you can be that person to so just be fair " she just said " sorry..i am just not the kinda girl that text or call first tho ..sorry"

I think in my mind that all B.S... told her that what if I lost my phone lost her number... she just laugh and like.. if you not talking to me for a while... I promise that I will call or text you ^^...

I can't take it... dont no why.. nor what happened to me... I took my phone.. deleted all the GIRLS NUMBER I have on my phone.. every single one of them...

I deleted them... so I can't talk to ASHLEY... or just simple not talking to any girl at all... so that I can see.. what girls will go out on their way to talk to me... so at least that I am some what IMPORTANT to them... or at least what I think to ASHLEY>...

hahaha.. how stupid you would say right?.

1 week past... 2 weeks past... coming to the third week now... I moved on... didnt think about her... how nice... I met this new girl.. she nice... awsome... fun... cute... GONNA GO ON A DATE WITH HER Tomorrow >... ya TOMOROW>>. How great you would say...

then I got a phone call from... ASHLEY... just 3 hours ago... saying SHE MISSED ME >>>WHY I AM NOT TALKING TO HER OR TEXING HER.. am I OK?. am I mad.. . blah blah blah...

after talking to her I don't no why.. all the feeling just running all back... having all mix feeling now... ahhhhh... I have a date with a so cute yet so nice girl tomorrow... but yet now I keep thinking about ASHLEY>..

what SHOULD I DO ?:confused:

P.S: sorry for the long post

Brittany124 · Jul 3, 2008, 12:25 AM

I think you should go on the date with this new girl and see how it goes...
If Ashley really cared about you she wouldve called before almost a month.

Simple Asian · Jul 3, 2008, 12:28 AM

You... but it also hard for me to go on the date that keep thinking about ASHLEY.. but yet I can't and won't cancle the date with the new girl.. because that would be so mean and disrespect her in many way...

I hate the mix feeling that I having right now...

Especially Ashley said she missed me?. as a friends ? Or as much more ? I really want to no.. but yet since it is like 1:30 in the morning over here... I won't find out till the morning after...

mimi03 · Jul 3, 2008, 12:43 AM

Seems like Ashley just wants to be friends... she's not showing any interest beyond a casual friendship so just give the other girl a chance.

Wouldn't you rather be with someone who actually has potential in really liking you?
(One of the first steps is going on an actual date well Ashely hasn't even given you that.)

You could allow your "what if" feelings about Ashley to override this new opportunity or take this chance to have a girlfriend or even make a new friend... dont let your feelings get the best of your better judgment!

By the way: If you could wait 2 or 3 weeks for her to give you a call she can deal with you not being so available because you're pursuing tangible opportunities.

JBeaucaire · Jul 3, 2008, 08:26 AM

I think you're practicing up to be a basket case. Seriously, that's some needy stuff there.

Joking aside, the whole "I'll only do this if you do it, too" concept is garbage. This is the kind of thing you usually get from girls and it's pretty manipulative. You REALLY want to spot it when you start thinking that way and shoot an arrow through its nasty little heart. It is a joy-KILLER to pull that stuff on people.

If you haven't a dated someone who's done that to you yet, it will happen. My wife even tries that on me and I call her on it every time.

HER: "How about we do ________?"
ME: (thinking) "Hmm, well, I suppose, sure, let's do that."
HER" "Well, we should only do it if you REALLY want to do it."
ME: "Poppycock. My being willing to do it should be good enough. Don't start that stuff again. Let me do it because you want to. If you put it on me only, we won't do it at all. How fun is that?"

So, stop deleting phone numbers because girls aren't calling you back. You're a guy, you don't NEED reciprocity. You do things because you set your mind to it and you do it. You like a girl? You pursue her. You don't apologize, you don't play mind games, but you also don't fret the work you have to do.

The girl TOLD you she preferred to be chased. Why isn't that good enough? You going to ditch a girl in the early days of pursuit because she's not gaga over you already and tearing the rafters down to get to you? How scary would that be if she DID? Who needs that kind of drama?

You just go after what you want, don't be a stalker about it, but do what's necessary to get your girl. At some point you realize this girl is worth this work, or she isn't. That, too, should be a calm process.

Simple Asian · Jul 3, 2008, 11:03 AM

date in 5 hours... I will try my hardest to make the best out of it...

yes... I admit deleted all the girls number is my fault but I just wanted to be accepted.. not that I am cocky nor thinking I am all that... I just wanted to no if someone out there willing to go out their way to talk to be... a real friend is what I needed right now.. nothing more nothing less.. >^^

jbecaucaire : chasing a girl after one year... yet no hope... I no girls love playing mind games... but I don't... I moved on... gave up... but tragicly somehow someway.. I liked her all over again... I can't help it,. my body has a mind for it own

N0help4u · Jul 3, 2008, 09:25 PM

Could Ashley have heard that you were talking to the other girl?
That could have gotten her to think about how she was passing you by.
Enjoy being friends with them and see if it goes anywhere with one of them.

Simple Asian · Jul 3, 2008, 10:01 PM

the date went by..,. and it was blah... X_X... I felt so bad... dating the girl.. yet keep thinking about Ashley...

mimi03 · Jul 3, 2008, 10:10 PM

First you should try forming a real friendship with Ashley... So far you've contributed everything, you've made all of the effort and after a couple of weeks of you backing off she made one phone call.

Try being her friend, see if she can be a real friend (actually show some interest in you as a person) and then go from there BUT by all means you have to realize your feelings are just feelings and nothing more SO the sooner you can learn not to allow them to dictate you, the better!