[Romefalls19]

Ok, I am asking this because of my present girlfriend. Her ex husband was extremely violent to her, i.e punching, hitting, forceful of things, and throwing her around. She finally did leave him, but has 2 kids by him. He wants to meet with her face to face to discuss things involving the children. She does not feel comfortable around him and is extremely frightened by this guy. She doesn't think the police would be willing to have an officer present at the meeting, because "they have better things to do." So my question to you guys is, do you knows if this is true. Personally, I believe that the police would be willing to do this as to prevent a domestic violence case or possible violence. We are resided in NJ, and I have told her if she would like I would be present. I just think having an officer there would better suit the needs of her as if something vulgar is said the officer can document this.

[N0help4u]

What parents often do when they have to drop kids of to the other parent for visitation is make the exchange AT the police station. Maybe they could meet and talk at a public place like a park or something near a police station.

Police do not come until after something happens as a rule.

[Romefalls19]

She's afraid to even be alone with this guy because he has a drug and alcohol problem. That's the reason why she is afraid he will become violent towards her, he has already told people he would take steps for this because she is dating someone new(me).. If police won't get involved until something happens, to me that's kind of stupid. I guess I'll have to be there for these face to face meetings then to make her feel comfortable.

I won't be right next to her, but would sit in the car or be close by as this guy doesn't do anything violent.

[N0help4u]

Yeah make it a 'family gathering' with all the support she can get if she has to.
I wouldn't let him near the house though AT ALL.

[Romefalls19]

Unfortuntely she left her family in California as she is originally from there, because he said living out there, away from his family caused his drug problems. I'm all she has for a support line out here, granted some parts of his family do see her side of things but blood is thicker than water and I would be weary of things

[N0help4u]

It wouldn't hurt to call the police and let them know what is going on.
They might be able to give you some suggestions and if you are in a small town
Who knows they might just help you with a plan of some kind. Maybe they could have a police car patrol your area (home, park, where ever) during the time. I really don't think I would want to have him at the house though.

[Romefalls19]

No way would he be coming around the house, that's one thing I wouldn't allow. I am really protective over women, and a guy who hits a female in my mind isn't even a man.

I am going to give the police a call when the meeting is going to be set up. He has a court date tomorrow and another one the following week for various driving and drug infractions so we're hoping he goes to jail.

[N0help4u]

I have seen many that have DUI's and drug infractions and the jail seems to be a revolving door. Good luck.

[bushg]

Rome,, she needs to be the one to call the police. Actually she needs to call and to speficially ask to speak to someone in domestic violence. There are also domestic violence advocates that may be more than willing to help her out.

My take on this is unless this is a court ordered meeting, then If I were her there is no way I would meet him to discuss anything.

Another thing I see is that you have an romantic interest in this woman... depending on what type of person he is, he may already know this... if he does and you showing up or him seeing you may cause big trouble.

Your lady friend needs to go through the proper channels to ensure her safety and her children's and not let a druggy and a drunk make demands on her. She can do this with the proper help. Men kill women everyday, they get more dangerous when they feel like they have lost the woman and control of the situation.

[Romefalls19]

We are already dating, he does know this and has already tried coming to look for me. This man, in no way shape or form, poses a threat to my safety. That's one thing I am more than sure of. It is not definite about meeting in person, as we are just trying to cover the bases so that she may feel comfortable with whatever scenario that arises.

He has known we were dating since March, he is upset about it but has moved on so me being there wouldn't be an issue. Not to mention, I would much rather him try to take me out and her be able to get away than him take it out on her. She has already been advised by lawyers to avoid any type of face to face meeting until the courts handle the situation. If he goes to jail pending his court date tomorrow, we will go through the process of her getting sole custody of the children, and if a meeting is to take place between the two I have a family member in law enforcement and Army Ranger who I talked to last night who would be there to make sure it all goes smoothly.

Thanks for everyone's advice... I deeply appreciate it

[George_1950]

... He wants to meet with her face to face to discuss things involving the children. She does not feel comfortable around him and is extremely frightened by this guy...So my question to you guys is, do you knows if this is true. Personally, I believe that the police would be willing to do this as to prevent a domestic violence case or possible violence. We are resided in NJ, and I have told her if she would like I would be present.

Your girlfriend have a lawyer? Write the lawyer a letter and ask for guidance. If she gets no help there, call the state's attorney (district attorney) and ask for guidance.

[Romefalls19]

Thanks, I have given her the advice and she is going to be getting an laywer this week and taking him to court on the child custody agenda. I told her I support what decision she decides to go with and will stand by her side no matter what