[eddica]

My brother was in the Hospital for 2 months and my boyfriend only went to the Hospital twice. He stayed away from me and never came to visit me at home.

Its been more than two weeks since my brother has passed and it still hurts that through everything My boyfriend wasn't there for me. Yesterday I looked through his phone to maybe find out what is more important than me. He was so angry that I did that and asked him questions.

4 years ago my oldest brother passed away also, and again My boyfriend wasn't there. He doesn't know how to handle death which is understandable, But what I don't understand, is why he chose not to be there for me and purposely just stayed away for me when I could have used his support.

We have been dating for 7 years..

Im I asking for too much?

[starlite1]

Sweetie, I am so, so sorry for your losses. You are not asking too much at all. I understand that people have a hard time with things like this, but not for nothing? What about you? This has not been easy on you and your family, and I think your b/f is being extremely selfish. Even though you have been together for 7 years, you may want to have a serious talk with him. Let him know that you understand his feelings, but couldn't he have been more supportive and looked at what you and your family went through? If he gets defensive or doesn't understand, you may want to end this, and find someone who will be there for you, with you, through thick and thin. Again, I am so sorry.

[chuff]

With all due respect, I wonder if he believes you need space at this time and not someone bothering you as you are dealing with this. I have to admit, I don't know how to deal with death very well either and it has always been my experience to let the person mourn without upsetting them more by saying what might be the wrong thing at the wrong time.

That being said, I understand the anger for looking through the phone but I can't understand why he'd be upset for you asking him questions. But what questions did you ask? You might also tell him what you need at this time and see if he responds to that. Perhaps he needs some direction on how to help you at this time of your life.

[Fr_Chuck]

I do feel sorry for your loss, but also, you can also call and tell him you want him to come be with you, or call and tell you you need or want to see or talk, If he is not coming when you need him and have asked him, what happens if that is you in the hospital, sometimes dating is a time we have to make tough choices about the people we are dating

[talaniman]

After 7 years there should be no issue as what you both need, and since he not there for you, take it as a fair warning. I bet he has sent a lot of signals you have ignored.

[happy_jester]

After 7 years,he should know EXACTLY what to do in this situation.

Your boyfriend has let you down badly,& there's no getting away from that.
As has been suggested,you may want to have a serious talk with him.