[nevergiveup]

I don't know where to start. My son(19) and his girlfriend(16) had a precious baby boy one month ago. I've been very supportive of them during the pregnancy. Hate to see that happen at their ages; but I told them they weren't the first and wouldn't be the last. My son has a job and they are both staying in school. He was right there to support her the whole time and during the birth of the baby. Her parents wouldn't allow my son at their house after they found out she was pregnant. Kept saying they would talk to him and never did. I think she really had a hard time at home while she was pregnant.

Well now that the baby is here, she is still living at home, of course. My son is allowed to go over there. But her mother is very controlling of what she does and where she goes with the baby. And she seems to want to play the martyr. She was suppose to bring him to my house twice and both times her mother made excuses- he was cranky so she was going to give him a bath and bottle. I have 3 kids; dealt with cranky and baths. Or he shouldn't be going out. They tell her she doesn't spend enough time with him. And accuse her of pawning him off on me or my daughter, who is expecting her own baby in Sept. I've told her from the start that if she needs to go somewhere with her friends or just get out for a bit, to bring him by. I don't consider it pawning if I want to enjoy my grandson. My daughter feels the same way. We ask her to see him whenever we can. She is fine with it and has no problem. But her mother is different. She complains about everything she does when it comes to my son and his side of the family. And I don't want to cause her problems with them. I think she has enough of that already. My son said she is afraid to say anything because she's afraid they won't help her. I can understand that. But you'd think her mom was the one in labor that day.

I realize that since she is 16 they can tell her what to do even though she's had the baby. Is there anyway they can prevent me from going over to pick up the baby(with her permission) on my days off and bringing him to my house(we live in the same town)? I've got family and friends that would like to see him, too. My son's name is on the birth certificate. I would've thought they'd see by now that he's in it for the long haul. He's crazy about the little guy. Was very upset himself one night when her mom said the baby could spend the night.

Help! Help! Help! We want to see him, but don't want to cause problems for her with her parents. Seems they are doing that themselves.

[ScottGem]

Well the only ways you are going to get what you want is at the sufferance of the mother's mother or by going to court to enforce a visitation schedule, which would probably lead to a child support payment schedule.

Does your son plan on marrying the mother?

[N0help4u]

Your son can go and file for visitation
The Judge could likely give him something like every other weekend and some holidays.
Hopefully in two years they can get married and she can get out from under mom's grip.

[tomder55]

I wish there was better news . But States have usually ruled in parents favor in cases involving grandparent rights

2002;Illinois Supreme court nullified the grandparent visitation law when it ruled that a parent has full authority to raise its child unless the child's health or safety is in danger.

Illinois grandparent visitation statute is facially unconstitutional | Law Reporter | Find Articles at BNET


I don't have anything to suggest this has been changed.

[nevergiveup]

I know my son could go to court, but he is allowed to see the baby all the time. It would really upset him to only be able to see him every other weekend. I think down the road they will get married.

Tomder55 says: States have usually ruled in parents favor in cases involving grandparent rights.
The baby's mother has no problem with bringing him to my house. It's her mother, the baby's grandmother, that is the problem. Can she tell me I can't see him? Does she have rights over him?

[N0help4u]

I think that if your son got visitation rights to have the baby at his home for his visitations. Then you would get to see the baby too I am assuming he lives with you. She should be able to also let him/you see the baby as she has been too but the court visitations would help ensure visits.
He should discuss all options with his girlfriend without her mom around.

[JudyKayTee]

Well, I think if somebody pushes this issue the maternal Grandmother will persuade the mother to go to Court for a support order and an order of visitation - and your son's visitation could very well be cut back.

Does your son support the child now? I realize he's in school, of course.

Well, legally it's the mother who is not bringing the child over - I'm sure her mother, the maternal grandmother, controls the situation but this girl is in her house and so she gets to make the rules. You basically have no rights or say in this nor does the "other" grandmother. But she obviously has influence and control over her daughter.

Does the mother's side somehow blame you and your family for the whole baby situation? Have you asked if you could go there to visit? I know it's not what you want but it might be a start.

[smokedetector]

She has the same rights you do as a grandparent, but she also has the rights of being the legal guardian of her daughter while you don't because a)you aren't her mother and b)your son is legal. I don't know what that means about the grandchild issue, but as for your question about her rights vs. yours, there you go. Maybe there is a different way to handle this? Such as meeting the daughter for lunch with the baby, or talking to the grandparents (it seems like there's not a whole lot of communication going on there). Best of luck.

[ScottGem]

As noted, she has no more rights over your grandson than you do. But she does have control over her daughter who has control over your grandson.

So your best bet is to make nice to her and keep things civil. At least until the tow of them are married and on their own.