[MC12545]

Ok. I'm going through a serious of waired thoughts and depressed about a situation with my ex girlfriend. We where together for 21/2 years.. Everything went smooth and we got along well, just like a normal relationship. The 2nd year of the relationship we had problems in which I was going out with my friends too much. In The new years of 08 we got into this huge argument and I ended up leaving her and not spending new years with her. I stayed home. She broke up with me for about 4 months because of the new years argument and problems we where having. I beg her back and I did everything possible but she wouldn't take me back she said she wanted to be by herself and was hurt. Throughout our break up she still kept the lines of communication open and we talked everyday or once in a while. She did most of the calling and text. In April she invited me over for dinner and wanted to work things out. I was really excited that she was giving me a 2nd chance. I decided to tell her that I'm a changed man and that things will get better. Throughout the time we where working things out I felt that she was not giving it her all into this. She was being cold about certain things.like calling me and all. I was thinking twice about this and I asked her several times if she was sure if she wanted to work things out and she said yes.Last week we got into an argument because some stupid reason can't even remember.. so to cool things down decided to drop of a sweet card in her door to surpise her and she said she doesn't feel comftrable me doing that because she doesn't feel the same/ she's confused and that she is concentrating on herself right now. She also said if its meant to be it will be and to take it day by day. I was surprised because she was calling me eveyday and all so I thought it would make things better by dropping a little gift. After that she still calls me and text me to see how I'm doing. I don't know what to do. Does she still have feelings for me? What would you guys think is going to be the outcome of this?

[ChihuahuaMomma]

It sounds like she needs her space and is too afraid to ask for it upfront, so she is pushing you away by acting standoffish. I would back off, and tell her to call you when she wants to hang out. Don't call her. Let her call you.

[MC12545]

Sweet!. thanks For The Advice. What's Confusing Is That If A Lady Wants Space Why Would She Still Call?

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Because women like to confuse men. It's fun. No, just kidding (kinda). She may want space but want to know that you are still there in case she changes her mind.

[talaniman]

She may want space, but she is afraid you'll forget her, and won't be her friend. Female often do this to keep you in the friends zone, until something more interesting comes along, and your history.

[Distantlove]

Ok. im going through a serious of waired thoughts and depressed about a situation with my ex girlfriend.

You're depressed and going through many thoughts about your ex girlfriend.. Doesn't this show it is time to stop thinking about it and try getting on with the things that you want to do for now?

We where together for 21/2 years..

I thought you meant 21 and a half years here but anyway..

I beg her back and I did everything possible but she wouldnt take me back she said she wanted to be by herself and was hurt.

A clear mistake.. Never beg and act desperate for the other to take you back, I can guarantee it never works, no matter how tempting it may seem. All you can do is give them space to breathe and think about it themselves.

In april she invited me over for dinner and wanted to work things out. I was really excited that she was giving me a 2nd chance. i decided to tell her that im a changed man and that things will get better. throughout the time we where working things out i felt that she was not giving it her all into this. She was being cold about certain things.like calling me and all.

One minute she wants to work things out, another minute she changes her mind. She is confused with how she is feeling, whether she wants you, or just wants you as a friend, or perhaps she just told you she wants to work things out to keep you here, as she doesn't want to lose you as a friend or having you to talk to. If that is the case, you need to question whether you are happy with that..

she doesnt feel the same/ shes confused and that she is concentrating on herself right now.

Tada! She has confirmed she is confused. GIVE HER SPACE and in the meantime keep yourself busy as well. Go out and partake in activities, go and meet friends, take your mind off her. All you can do is be patient for her to make her decision.

After that she still calls me and text me to see how im doing.

She may just see you as a friend. She doesn't want you completely out of her life, but this doesn't mean that she wants a relationship right now. If she's saying she needs space, but she is still calling you, it is perhaps showing she has made up her mind and just wants you as a friend, someone to talk to. It sucks, but again, you need to question whether you are happy with that option if it is the case...

I dont know what to do. does she still have feelings for me? what would u guys think is going to be the outcome of this?

Right now, I would not get your hopes up about her calling you etc. My conclusion is to take some time to yourself, go out, try and enjoy yourself, and take your mind off her. Perhaps you could stop answering her calls, and if she questions this, remind her that she has said she wants space to think about both of you and you respect that. She needs to know if being with you is actually what she wants, or whether she just wants you as a friend, (which I think is more likely by the sounds of things, that's my opinion). You need to prepare for the worst, therefore you won't be completely shock/disapointed if she does let you down. As I said, for now, take time to yourself while she has her space. If her 'space' goes on for way too long and it becomes obvious that she is stringing you along.. then please move on with your life rather than keep hoping for the past and go NC. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

Goodluck.

[jammedpackedpit]

If you love something let it go and if it comes back to you its yours if it doesn't it never was

[MC12545]

Thank You For You Advice. Some Times Getting Other Peoples Opinion On Life Experiences Can Help Out!! thanks

[smokedetector]

Maybe she is just thinking that it was too much of an effort last time, concentrating on you and trying to make you happy. Sometimes people's love matures this way, where they see it as "instead of breaking my back to make sure you're happy with not such a great return, I think if it is real love it will be easier" Not that you shouldn't put forth effort, but that it shouldn't be going against the grain. It should be smooth and easy, like it just fits. You're happy just being with her, and you don't have to think of things to do to be happy together. Maybe she is looking to you (and possibly love) as more of an "exclusive friends with benefits" deal rather than "lets put a label on it and be girlfriend and boyfriend" thing. Good luck.