[blue_cali]

Okay so it's a long story but I'll try and be as detailed as possible.

So I'm a teenager and I just got out of a relationship about a month ago. I have liked my ex boyfriend for about 2 years now. Everything was going great because we both liked each other and we both really wanted to be together. So after 1 whole year of liking each other, he finally asked me out and I said yes. We dated for three months and I it was the happiest three months of my life. But my parents would kill me if they ever found out I had a boyfriend and Im never allowed to go anywhere without my parents so I could only really see him in school. We both loved each other a lot. It was both are second reltionship so we didn't have that much experience. Everything was amazing and I felt that I had finally gotten what I wanted and I wasn't going to let him go. But he was having doubts towards the end of the relationship. But we talked through it all and were happy again. But the week after that sucked. The whole weekend he ignored me by not talking or texting me at all. Even in school that day after the weekend, he didn't come to visit me during recess or lunch. But I loved him so I let it slide. But, during that day at lunch my friend said he overheard my boyfriend and his friend talking about him breaking up with me that day. I got so mad and actually believed my friend that I sent my friends to break up with him for me at that moment. I didn't want to break up with him at all but since I found out he was breaking up with me that day, I just thought that my feelings wouldn't get hurt as much if I broke up with him. Later that day his friend called me up and told me everything that my ex boyfriend actually said. He said that my ex boyfriend didn't even say he was going to break up with me that day. My ex boyfriend said that, it had already been three months of us dating and I was still being a shy girlfriend with him so he was thinking about breaking up with me but he wasn't sure yet. After I heard that I bursted into tears because he wasn't even going to break up with me. And his friend said that my ex boyfriend said that he didn't know if he want to go back out with me again=( Later on that week my ex boyfriend texted me and told me that he thinks we should wait until we decide to go back out again. Then a couple days ago he texted me again and told me that he still wants it to be cool between us because he still wants me apart of his life and he doesn't want us breaking up to end that.

So it has been about a month now since we broke up and I'm still not over him and days go by and my love for him just keeps on growing even though we ended our relationship. I still love him to death and I would pretty much do anything to get back together with him. I can't move on because I liked this guy for so long and I finally got what I wanted and then I ruined it. All I want is to be with him again. But Im not sure how he feels or if he even wants to be with me again. Every morning I wake up and I just start to think about him and the mistake I made. And I continue thinking about him for the rest of the day. I still love him and want to be with him. I know people say to just move on with your life. But I don't see how I can do that because Im still in love with my ex and I miss him. I can't imagine being with another guy because it just won't be the same and I will never love another guy more than my ex. It was my first real relationship and he was my first true love. I know what I have to change about me to make the relationship work out again. I just have to be less shy. I am willing to change for him because it will help me become a better person and it will make our relationship work. But I don't know if I should try and tell him how I feel and try to get back together with him because that's what I really want or if I should just leave that old relationship to rest and move on with my life or I could wait until Im a senior to be with him when I get allowed to date and when were both more mature and ready to be in a serious relationship. I really want to be with him again but I just don't know what to do. Any advice as to what I should do?

[talaniman]

You have felt the thrill of that first love, and the heartache that comes with the first break up! Welcome to the real world.

Talk to him as you have talked to us and see what he says. Be willing to abide by whatever comes from that conversation though. It could go either way, but he is the one to decide.