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be1013 · Jun 22, 2008, 10:35 PM

Lately things have been a little rocky in our relationship.
I want things to be like they used to when I was when I felt like his number one priority.
Any ideas?
:)

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 23, 2008, 12:10 AM

Find out why hings have changed. Other than that, more detail would be nice. What do you mean by "rocky"?

JBeaucaire · Jun 23, 2008, 01:30 AM

Exactly how long have you two been together? How long ago did he stop treating you in your preferred way?

ISneezeFunny · Jun 23, 2008, 02:19 AM

Even without getting the background info on this, I can only say... that it's unlikely things will ever go back to being the same. Time changes everything, as well as perception. I'm not saying things won't get better, as things could even be better than before, but the whole "I wish he would consider me a top priority in his life again" is typical in a relationship that has been going on for a long time, and it's unlikely that he'll consider you a "top priority" like he did when you two were first dating.

bigbird213 · Jun 23, 2008, 03:56 AM

I agree with Sneezy,

From experience, after a few years my ex was bothered quite a bit because things weren't "the way they were" in the beginning. I'm not sure what exactly was missing, but I think it was the fact that I would write notes and get flowers for her for no apparent reason and that tended to decline as time went on.

Its tough to tell why, I didn't care for her any less, but it bothered her. I guess she wanted things to stay as they were in the 'honeymoon' period.

Keep the communication going, and good luck.

talaniman · Jun 24, 2008, 04:21 PM

Life is all about change and the adjustments we make. If your trying to get back to a better time, forget it. Deal with now, and what's real.

jiltedgirl · Jun 24, 2008, 10:20 PM

It's only in the beginning during the 'honeymoon' stage when they do the nice, little things for you and make you feel like a 'top' priority. In my opinion, it's pretty much downhill from there.

I advise that you talk to him about it. See what he says and go from there.

Best of luck,
J

Distantlove · Jun 25, 2008, 05:20 AM

To be honest, I'v learnt that it is very typical for that to happen in a long-term relationship.
At the beginning its all flowers, gifts, etc, to try and impress your new boy/girlfriend. Its all new and exciting, but you can't expect that all the time, especially later in the relationship. Time does change things, and people grow. It may not mean that they care for you less, but you don't see married couples always buying flowers, going all out to impress their partner because all that has passed.
Its real now, the fairytale is gone and true colours shine through. You become more comfortable with each other as you grow to learn more about each other. You become more secure and you should realise that its not just the flowers etc. that make a couple happy, but the fact that you start to go through hurdles, having to work on other problems to save the relationship.
You shouldn't be making him your number one priority anymore - that is basically saying you shouldn't have your own life. You'll soon learn to accept that he has you , but his own life as well. You'll soon realise that the more you nag them, the more it won't happen because that's how it is. If anything, the nagging will make things just that bit more 'rocky'.
Get on with your own things too, if you have plans with your friends, don't cancel with them to see your boyfriend. See your friends. Do your own activities, work etc.
Remember that the number one priority in anyone's lives are themselves, and how to keep yourself happy and heathly.