[len21]

So it has been almost 5 months since me and my ex broke up, was some of the hardest months of my life. We never really stopped contact, we ended up sleeping together a couple of times and text and spoke far too often to forget about each other, we both knew that we still loved each other but tried to keep the feelings buried. Anway last weekend we ended up seeing each other out and hung out all night and it was fun, then he came home with me and we spent all day together. We had a big talk and both are thinking maybe we should try again but I am so afraid of getting hurt again, and of things going back to the way they used to be... for so long I thought getting back together was what I wanted and know I have the chance and don't know if I can go through it all again.

[confused1145]

Well, you need to make the decision before answering the question. If you think things will be different and better than maybe you should give it a chance. If you decide to start the relationship back up, maybe you should take things slow and make them agree to do the same. Just to see how things will go.

[liz28]

Before your get back together, I hope your have had a serious talk that will be make the second time a charm.

I've read your other post where you stated you was the one that took him for granted, what changes are you going do now?

Getting back together can even work or not work, but for it to work your must work on the mistakes your made the first time around so it won't happen again. Sometimes people change or not. I think if this is consider your must start fresh. I hope it work out because it did for me when I get back together with my ex.

Also, I hope this decision is not just talked about because of your sexual involvement with one another. Your both should write down the pros and cons of your last relationship and use it as a guide to make the second go round stronger. This helped a lot with me and ex, and don't get mad with what is written down and be honest. Good Luck!

[talaniman]

Hi lens, Besides your mistakes have you resolved the cheating issue also? I think you need some careful thoughts BEFORE you jump back in. The way I see it, you haven't broken up yet.

[JBeaucaire]

"...for so long i thought getting back together was what i wanted and know i have the chance and dont know if i can go through it all again."
Well, you're already going through it all again. It's already started. So you DO know you can go through it all again.

If you keep dating him you stand a HUGE chance of walking through the same fires all over again. But that's not automatically bad.

You didn't tell us what those fires were, but without even knowing the details, I can tell you that you are capable of withstanding virtually any fire thrown at you two if you approach those situations in a more loving, selfless way.

Being in a successful relationship means losing fights. It means not getting your way. It means being right and still not speaking up... sometimes. Being in love is easy. Acting LOVINGLY is a pain, a daily emotional pain, and worth every single ache.

There is no greater accomplishment than taking love (something that happens instinctively and you have little control over), taking love and turning it into TRUE love. True love is something you DO for someone else, it's not something you feel. It's YOUR ability to TRULY act lovingly, more often than not.

And in that, you win.

So, yes, you are already heading back into the same fires with this man again. Are you going to respond to those fiery situations the same way as before? If so, the breakup is on its way. If NOT, ooo baby, wait and see what you two can do!

[talaniman]

"Yes, actually, I am a rocket scientist." - JB, And a great philosopher!