[Sonador101]

My dad is in prison, and I realized that my attarction to older men was really me looking for a father figure. Thing is this attraction is driving me crazy, I only want a guy to be there for me and basically be the dad I never really had. I don't know what I should do about it, its not like I can just wish my dad back, but I am so desperate for a father figure, plase help I don't know what to do.:(

[Fr_Chuck]

Do you have a local YWCA or church youth group, Is there a uncle or older cousin that can help be a role model.

[RedneckMama]

I don't know your history with this.. or your current family situation.. but I think I've heard it mentioned on here before that you are 13, am I right?
If so... are you (or do you want to be) involved in any sort of sports related activities where you could not only befriend your (more than likely) male coaches and teammates?

Do you live with your mother? If so, could you ask her to get you into some sort of mentoring program where you live... like a Big Brother/Big Sister type of thing? I've seen a few of the pieces you have written which sound incredibly mature for a 13 year old mind... is there some sort of writing club at school.. or maybe you could get a male teacher of yours interested in starting one?

Do you have any sort of relationship with your dad... through letters to the prison, or do you visit during visiting days? If not, maybe you could start writing him and sending some of your poetry? That way you can establish a bond with him, and maybe this will help somewhat towards you not feeling so uprooted by it all...

[Sonador101]

Yeah I visit him, and he wrrites me letters and calls me. Yeah and I write him my poetry, what I mostly need (I think ) is somebody like with me, someone I can talk to. My relationship with my dad is really unstable, I love him and can't wait till he gets out, but there's this underlying dissopointment in the air when I talk to him, cause well I am incrediably dissapointed.
I do live with my mom, and my mom still loves him, and she feels its important to keep him on our lives (me and my brothers and sisters) and I agree.
(I am in big brothers big sisters)

[RedneckMama]

I can only imagine how disappointed his absence makes you feel; but it sounds like you are already doing as much as you can to fill the void left behind...

I think you'll find that the contact you do have with him--although limited--will continue to be very important.. I think your mom is very right to encourage that...

I also agree with Fr_Chuck in that your local church groups would be a great place to get involved to help lessen the negative feelings you have even more...

This is the hand you were dealt so far in life... of course, it's not always a fair one, as many of your friends can probably also attest to that--there are many people your age that are missing a parent... and those teenage years are the toughest years to be without--especially a boy without his father--but, trust me, as a kid growing up with only one biological parent... it does get easier the older you get as far as being able to not only manage the lonely feelings you're having without all the hormones affecting you as well...

I think you'll see, in a matter of just a few years, how much your outlook will have changed... make sure you save all your letters to your dad and all the poetry you write as well--keeping a journal would also help to not only sort through the feelings; but maybe get at some you didn't know you had... Being able to look back on that stuff will help you to move forward and recognize that maybe things weren't so disappointing after all...