[packer04]

If you have read my previous posts,you know I have been with some real jerks. Ended it with the last one and my counselor has been helping me see that that is the codependent in me, but that there are nice good men out there. Well I met a month ago this really nice man-still can't believe it. He has a lot in common with me, great personality,fair looking,responsible,great job, just a real nice man looking for a nice gal. It scares me as I am not use to nice guys-even ex was nasty( I am 48 and he 49) So I have tried to just enjoy this time with him and get to know him. I don't get butterflies in my stomach when with him, but there is some chemistry, but my counselor says to date him 2-3 months and see. But if there are other nice ones then will I have to be with this one? So I guess I can still look also while with him just in case, but with my age there are probably not too many nice guys out there. But he says he is going to take it slow and not settle as he did. He seems to have it all,financially he's great,retiring in 5 years,has a home(wants one up northand here in Florida),great job,education,honest,loving,generous,fun and a real gentleman. Well my finances aren't great. When ex left had to file bankruptsy, still paying taxes he didn't file for me, I got a great job,education,not a lot of money like he and won't be retiring soon as he, no house,but I am fun,honest,generous,loving and caring. I feel I should be honest and have been from the start so should I tell him of the bankruptsy? He knows I have no house and not a lot of money,but the credit thing he doesn't know about. I want to be honest and feel I should even though the dating is still so knew for each of us.

[talaniman]

Its only been a month, and I feel that's to soon to let someone that close in all your business. I can appreciate your wanting to be honest, but lets not get to carried away, and jump the gun. If in 4-5 months things change, and it develops into something more serious, then think of letting him know, but he is still a stranger now, so its not his business.

[JBeaucaire]

Your past bankruptcy isn't an issue. It will come up naturally as you continue to develop your relationship. There won't be a need to "drop the bomb" as you seem to feel it might be, this is just past information, the kind of thing that is shared naturally as those topics come up.

It's not a big deal, don't treat it like one when you do finally talk about it.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is none of his business, latter if and when in months and months you may want to tell him, not that it really matters or should

[N0help4u]

As long as you can ask yourself if there are other nice guys that maybe you should be meeting then I would say it isn't time to tell him. IF and when you two start talk about getting serious then it is time to start bringing it up. If you bring it up now he might feel you are looking for somebody to pay it for you. When you do bring it up, (if this applies) tell him how you are responsibly paying it off and do not expect it to become his problem.

[confused1145]

Wait a little while and see where things go before giving him all of that additional information.