[bummed89]

My parents divorced when I was just a baby maybe one years old. My dad has never shown his love for me and my sister in a good way, but has never hidden that he likes my sister way more than me. My mom was never one to show favorites and was always there for the both of us. My sister was always a wild child, she did not want to listen to my mom or dad when they told her what to do, but she always did good in school stuff like that. On the other hand I always was the good kid and I always wanted to be around my family. When my sister got pregnant with her first, everything changed. At first my dad and mom did not agree with her pregnancy being she was only 18. Then they treated her like the best thing that walked the planet. My dad would call her and want to see her more often, even on christmas my dad called to talk to her and did not once even ask about me. Now my sister is pregnant with her second and it is happening again. I don't know what to think about all this. I feel like I need to get pregnant now to be accepted in my family? And even if I did I feel I would not be accepted. (which I am not trying) They would not approve of it they would look at me as being the worst person for getting pregnant. My mother and father have both told me I would be stupid if I got pregnant. They tell me I have seen how my sister has lived and see how it can make you miss out on a lot of stuff being pregnant at a early age, but the truth is she does fine. My mother and father have both given her so much and she has not suffered at all from having a baby at a young age. I just want to know some thoughts on this. THANKS

[Credendovidis]

Are you serious? How can that be a good reason for producing offspring ?

If you have a steady relation , love each other, and want to crown that with a child, than THAT is a good reason.
Just to get some form of approval from two rather bad parents certainly is not a good reason.

:confused:

[RedneckMama]

While I didn't go so far as thinking I should get knocked up to get some bad attention versus no attention at all while growing up... I did have similar feelings with the way my mom & extended family treated my brother and I differently...

The only reasons I was ever given as to why they acted the way they did and treated us so different was this: They said I was the more responsible of the two, therefore more was expected out of me--they knew I wouldn't get in trouble, knew I'd keep up with my grades at school, knew if the cops came to patrol the neighborhood, they weren't looking for me... And the fact that I was a girl and he was, of course, not... gave him more freedom to roam for some reason... almost like he was expected to be rowdy and lawless because of that...

Never never never would anyone recommend you get pregnant to gain priority in your family... that's a very long stretch... you have to try and remember that although your parents may come across as paying more attention to your sister it's just because she seems to need more from them--especially now that she has this baby and another on the way...

Try the direct approach with your parents... sit them down and explain that you feel left out, that you feel the only way to fit in is to get into trouble and at least have some attention because of that--I'd be willing to bet that, aside from being extremely surprised that you feel this way, they'll be willing to rectify their mistakes and include you more--instead of just assuming that you're happy with the position you have in the family right now...

And for heaven's sakes... don't get knocked up right now because of this, please! It would be a huge mistake whose consequences you can't even begin to imagine... If your parents don't react to you the way you would like right now, just give it time... eventually you'll see that it's not because they don't love you the same as your sister--it's that they are probably so relieved that you're the 'good kid' that they think you don't demand or need them falling all over you trying to smooth out your life, therefore they tend to let you be... and being grandparents so young certainly can make for a busy life as well...

Like I said, try and talk to them and see it that helps lead them in the right direction...

[N0help4u]

I agree with redneckmama and was going to say the same thing about how others go by what they expect of you. Bosses I have had have even said that to me. They would jump all over me if I missed one minor detail while others didn't even try to do a good job. I would ask why they criticize me and let them get away with so much and they told me flat out we expect more from you because we know you can do it.
Getting pregnant or getting married should never be used to 'fix' a situation.
I have known many girls who thought those were their 'out' and it was only jumping from one set of problems into another.
Accept your relationship with your parents as it is and try and work on getting their love and attention in more productive and constructive ways.

I know I neglected my second child because two of my four kids needed a lot of my attention and she was very independent. I do regret it because now she is a little on the wild side and has little concept of money. I don't think it would make me feel closer to her if she got pregnant, whereas my oldest had a baby and I feel closer in a sense but it isn't the same.

[toadalways]

My parents divorced when i was just a baby maybe one years old. My dad has never shown his love for me and my sister in a good way, but has never hidden that he likes my sister way more than me. My mom was never one to show favorites and was always there for the both of us. My sister was always a wild child, she did not want to listen to my mom or dad when they told her what to do, but she always did good in school stuff like that. On the other hand i always was the good kid and i always wanted to be around my family. When my sister got pregnant with her first, everything changed. At first my dad and mom did not agree with her pregnacy being she was only 18. Then they treated her like the best thing that walked the planet. My dad would call her and want to see her more often, even on christmas my dad called to talk to her and did not once even ask about me. Now my sister is pregnant with her second and it is happening again. I dont know what to think about all this. I feel like i need to get pregnant now to be accepted in my family? And even if i did i feel i would not be accepted. (which i am not trying) They would not approve of it they would look at me as being the worst person for getting pregnant. My mother and father have both told me I would be stupid if i got pregnant. They tell me I have seen how my sister has lived and see how it can make you miss out on alot of stuff being pregnant at a early age, but the truth is she does fine. My mother and father have both given her so much and she has not suffered at all from having a baby at a young age. I just want to know some thoughts on this. THANKS

Take it from someone who was 16 and had a baby don't get me wrong I love my son to death but if I could have waited until I was on my feat had everything going good plus more and if I could have waited till I was at least 26 I would have it does stop you from a lot you don't see it until it happens to you unless you have someone who will watch your kids when ever you want them to it gets really hard I want to do so much like go to collage and I can't. Don't have a baby wait, and wait till that one person you love comes around be with him for awhile though live with him first because he will change