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NNG,
I feel for you man, I really do. I can only imagine how hearing those things must make you feel inside. I have had slight instances of that panic mode which sets in, but I assume you probably felt a little bit of that during your breakup. My analysis (which may be as far from the truth as possible): She is not feeling like she thought that she would after the breakup. It almost seems as though she is going above and beyond to make you think that she is happy. Maybe she wants you to crawl back to her? Maybe she needs some confirmation that she is doing better than you? In either case, I wouldn't bother with a response. If you must, tell her that you can't see her in a few weeks, no reason necessary. Hearing all these things about her plans and other guys and all of this other BS isn't going to help you at all. Its going to hurt and its going to keep you thinking about her. I can guarantee that you are no where near healthy enough to go and see her and risk hearing about these other guys and her escapades since you have broken up. I can tell you that from my experience, I often feel like I am doing really well and sometimes get to thinking about contacting her and wanting to meet up as friends and just see how she is doing. Then something so stupidly small comes up and sends me reeling. This alone is enough proof that your progress may be deceiving. Its easy to feel like your doing really well when you haven't been tested... |
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Damnnn.. that was so messed up what she did... How could she?. They are so selfish.. only thinking about them...
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 Originally Posted by damaged
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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
NNG she is being so cruel. That sucks mate. |
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Hi all,
Losingit77 I can't wait until I reach the 3 month mark. Getting back with an ex and then breaking up again must be really hard. Zooropa man I totally agree with you. I guess that is why it hurts so badly. Bigbird I feel you man. I am dreading hearing any news about what my ex is up to. I am not looking forward to it at all. A couple of friends are suggesting I break NC. One says I should e-mail my ex just before I go bed telling her "Goodnight and that I am thinking of her" the other says I should call her and tell her "That I love her and would like her to come back." I am inclined to think I should stay with NC, which as ZOO pointed out is the only card we have. |
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Originally Posted by f104
I am trying my best not to call up my ex =/ |
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WHOA!
Please, don't say any of the things your friends have mentioned. Do you have any idea how needy that would make you look? What would you think of your ex if she were to send you a message saying: "I love you and I would like you to come back."? I can imagine it would be something along the lines of: "She broke up with me, now she wants me back? Thats pathetic, grow up." For your own good, don't listen. It isn't a sensible thing to do. It is perfectly normal to be feeling down about your situation, trust me, I have been there over and over again. I have the feeling like I would want to call her, but I know deep down that it isn't the right thing to do and with a little self-control the problems pass right over. Would it really make you feel better to have her ignore your text, or to have her tell you that she can't get back together with you because she is seeing someone else. It isn't worth it man, it really isn't. You just said you were dreading to hear any news about what she is up to. It isn't something you really want to hear, trust me from experience. I didn't go looking, but I found it nonetheless, and it didn't feel good. Don't go looking for heartbreak, you'll find enough of it by accident. |
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ahhh... I really want to call my ex =/
So, I hit 3 week period of NC with my ex~ it's hard because I'd see her online when I'm online as well =/ |
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Originally Posted by hjpan
Simple - stay offline :) I know its tough. I removed my ex from my buddy list but I have her step sister's names on there and I just don't want to risk it. Especially since I have been in a down mood for the last day or so, I'm just playing it safe. Sure, there are people on there I want to talk to, but it isn't worth seeing anything I don't want to see... The funny thing about seeing things about them is this. You notice something you know you shouldn't see. It upsets you, and then your mind does something so utterly stupid - it wants to know more. If you give into that, its just a vicious circle downward... |
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My ex dumped me very out the blue over 4 months ago and since he said it was over I vanished and went into NC. It's the best thing I could have done, I broke the nc once and that was to respond to a message he sent me. Don't know what he thinks of me vanishing but I know him breaking up with me has hit him harder than it did me. So NC Does work, never thought id feel normal again!
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Still not feeling that great...
Seems ridiculous to me that I saw something to stupid and it has had such an impact on me. I feel like I am thinking about her like I was a month and a half ago, and it doesn't seem to be letting up at all. I'll just keep giving it time, but after a while, you get real sick of the same thing going through your head over and over and over... Ugh. |
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Originally Posted by bigbird213
Well, I'm not removing her from friendslist since she wants "to be friends" so I let her stay on. I might just call her later in the month and make myself clear that we are just friends. |
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Originally Posted by hjpan
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Originally Posted by bigbird213
I can be her friend, but if she suffers.. I have no remorse for her. I told her clearly "if I became famous and popular because i contributed something to others, please don't crawling back to me and ask me for forgiveness." I am very down for this. If I can handle the stress of being played by previous girls, I can definitely handle the relationship stress. In my heart, it may be difficult but I may sure grow myself to be stronger than ever. Actually, I am looking forward more into life... |
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I think I'm scared of women in a way now. My ex who I thought was sweet and the best, turned out to be a closest skank kind of, I don't know if that's her way od dealing with her breaking up with me or if women in general are just no good. I don't know but damn what the hell
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Originally Posted by bigbird213
Yea I feel you man, been in the dumps the last few days. Haven't been on here as I am working shifts right now and have been pretty tired. I haven't let it affect what I am doing though at least. People told me it would be like this though, you would hit some major bumps on the way to feeling better. Doesn't help that she told me that crap the other day. But it is so weird the little things that happen that show you just how not over it you are. I hate it because I don't want to think about it, and I want to feel better, but its like your brain just decides... "no we're going to be sad and think about this a lot" |
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Originally Posted by classicrocker
I'd sadly have to agree with you on that rocker. I told myself it wouldn't jade me in any way but it has. Hopefully it will go away with time and when I do meet that "it" girl. Its like a lack of trust I have or something, I thought I had an honest exceptional girlfriend, but in the end all she did was deceive and make me feel horrible. I also feel like my standards have gone through the roof... I was told this is not a bad thing and that I just know what I really want now. Its weird though, when I meet new girls I evaluate them big time, not in a shallow way but like with the things they talk about and how they act. I want to avoid as many of the problems from my last relationship as possible. |
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Update: I have resisted the urge to call my ex. I talked to my sister about the urges and problems; she says it's best to tell my ex straight up (later on) about being friends or not. I have been running, jogging, and "working out".. basically sweating.
Oh damn... it feels so good when I'm in the shower with cold water.. lol anyways... I really don't know how to control myself. Apparently, I am EATING way less than I used to which is a good thing since I used to over-eat. |
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Yes definitely. I'm evaluating every girl as well. It's a curse and a gift at the same time cause I think it really does show us what were really searching for. But it's a curse cause I end up not really giving other person a chance to truly get know each other. This is probably because I'm evaluating them right off the bat. And not to mention the trust factor... man my ex really F***ed me up on a few things.
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Well, my ex texted me at half 2 in the morning the other night.. asking about her bike that is still at my house! That lead to other conversations and we ended up texting for a couple of hours.
I got a bit lonely the other night and texted her last night. We texted all day on and off. She said she had to go at around 1 AM last night and she said "hopefully we chat soon".. I'm starting to regret texting her because the old feelings I had are being brought back up when I was over them (or so I thought).. I won't contact her the next time, wait until she contacts me. Then I'll either not reply or be very quiet with her. |
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