[KayKayBayBay]

Okay,

So I'm not going to tell my whole life story, but I am 15 about to be 16 in two months.
Anyway, so I have always had I guess you could call them suicide thoughts, but the only thing that makes them really go away is my boyfriend. Thing about that is my parents are tripping hard about something he had asked me. And seriously it wasn't even something that serious because he likes to joke around about stuff and sometimes doesn't think before he says stuff. Anyway so they told me I couldn't see him anymore ever or talk to him or anything.

Well my parents are emotionally abusive to me. They always put me down in someway somehow. And so they couldn't really care about age wise because they're six years apart and me and him are only three years apart so they can't really say anything about that.

But so taking him away from me has made this whole thing much worse on my half.

Well like I said, my parents are VERY emotionally abusive to me.
My dad more than my mom though.

Like, I'm average weight for my age.
I'm not like most girls who think oh I have to look like a stick. No.
I have some fat on me but I'm not obese you know?

Okay well usually when I were to get home from school I'd eat a snack and yeah so my dad gets home around the same time I do (note I would always eat something healthy when I got home.) Anyway, so he would always make some rude comment about how I'm going to end up in one of those world record books to be the fattest person alive or something like that. And that's one way that they are always putting me down.

And so now that I told them about those suicide things my mom treats me like I'm some sort of person who's just going to out of no where just kill myself, but really I'm not going THAT far with them. I mean I've almost attempted them before I met my boyfriend. And now, they are back...

So I mean.
I know what some of you are thinking, 'oh you're just some annoying little teenage girl looking for attention.' But trust me. If you knew the whole story, you'd think way different.

Anyway, I'm thinking about getting emancipated.
I'm already getting a job, I have somewhere I can stay, and I know I can support myself in anyway possible.

Only problem is.
I can't find a way to get to the Court to tell a judge or anything about this whole situation.
So what should I do?

Please give some answers.
I really, really, REALLY need to be separated from my family.
Before something bad happens.

[N0help4u]

A lot has to do with what state you live in?

[JudyKayTee]

Okay,

So I'm not going to tell my whole life story, but I am 15 about to be 16 in two months.
Anyways, so I have always had I guess you could call them suicide thoughts, but the only thing that makes them really go away is my boyfriend. Thing about that is my parents are tripping hard about something he had asked me. And seriously it wasn't even something that serious because he likes to joke around about stuff and sometimes doesn't think before he says stuff. Anyways so they told me I couldn't see him anymore ever or talk to him or anything.

Well my parents are emotionally abusive to me. They always put me down in someway somehow. And so they couldn't really care about age wise because they're six years apart and me and him are only three years apart so they can't really say anything about that.

But so taking him away from me has made this whole thing much worse on my half.

Well like I said, my parents are VERY emotionally abusive to me.
My dad more than my mom though.

Like, I'm average weight for my age.
I'm not like most girls who think oh I have to look like a stick. No.
I have some fat on me but i'm not obese you know?

Okay well usually when I were to get home from school i'd eat a snack and yeah so my dad gets home around the same time I do (note I would always eat something healthy when I got home.) Anyways, so he would always make some rude comment about how i'm going to end up in one of those world record books to be the fattest person alive or something like that. And that's one way that they are always putting me down.

And so now that I told them about those suicide things my mom treats me like i'm some sort of person who's just going to out of no where just kill myself, but really i'm not going THAT far with them. I mean I've almost attempted them before i met my boyfriend. And now, they are back....

So I mean.
I know what some of you are thinking, 'oh you're just some annoying little teenage girl looking for attention.' But trust me. If you knew the whole story, you'd think way different.

Anyways, I'm thinking about getting emancipated.
I'm already getting a job, I have somewhere I can stay, and I know I can support myself in anyways possible.

Only problem is.
I can't find a way to get to the Court to tell a judge or anything about this whole situation.
So what should I do?

Please give some answers.
I really, really, REALLY need to be separated from my family.
Before something bad happens.

Basically in order to become emancipated you have to prove to the Court that you are self supporting and self reliant.

I understand you're in a terrible situation but if you can't find a means to get to the Courthouse that is going to be seen as not self reliant. If you are 15 no State that I know of is going to emancipate you, anyway.

Your other choice is a child welfare agency - you can be legally removed from your parents' household if there is abuse.

I can't imagine what your boyfriend asked you that caused your parents to forbid you to see and/or talk to him ever again - joking or not joking, that sounds like he showed some very poor judgment and you are paying the price.

I think your first concern should be finding someone to talk to - suicidal thoughts that you are expressing to other people are either very serious or a cry for attention - and only you know the answer. If your boyfriend is all that is keeping you from suicidal thoughts, then you are putting entirely too much of yourself in his hands and you need to find yourself, your identity, happiness on your own. He certainly can be part of your happiness and well being but you are the only person who can control you.

You really have to find someone you trust who will listen to you - not necessarily talk to you but listen and care about you and maybe give you advice that makes you think. You don't have to take that advice but a caring friend will put your feet on the path that is best for you. Sometimes everybody just needs some who will listen and not judge. I have been blessed with the same best friend since high school - she never judges (nor do I), we know each other well and I know she always has my back. Do you have someone like that in your life?

Otherwise - you've got to hang in there. You're almost 16. I know it sounds like forever but in 2 years you'll be 18 and able to be on your own.

(And, no, you don't sound like a "little girl." You sound like you've got a lot of stuff together.)

[KayKayBayBay]

Basically in order to become emancipated you have to prove to the Court that you are self supporting and self reliant.

I understand you're in a terrible situation but if you can't find a means to get to the Courthouse that is going to be seen as not self reliant. If you are 15 no State that I know of is going to emancipate you, anyway.

Your other choice is a child welfare agency - you can be legally removed from your parents' household if there is abuse.

I can't imagine what your boyfriend asked you that caused your parents to forbid you to see and/or talk to him ever again - joking or not joking, that sounds like he showed some very poor judgment and you are paying the price.

I think your first concern should be finding someone to talk to - suicidal thoughts that you are expressing to other people are either very serious or a cry for attention - and only you know the answer. If your boyfriend is all that is keeping you from suicidal thoughts, then you are putting entirely too much of yourself in his hands and you need to find yourself, your identity, happiness on your own. He certainly can be part of your happiness and well being but you are the only person who can control you.

You really have to find someone you trust who will listen to you - not necessarily talk to you but listen and care about you and maybe give you advice that makes you think. You don't have to take that advice but a caring friend will put your feet on the path that is best for you. Sometimes everybody just needs some who will listen and not judge. I have been blessed with the same best friend since high school - she never judges (nor do I), we know each other well and I know she always has my back. Do you have someone like that in your life?

Otherwise - you've got to hang in there. You're almost 16. I know it sounds like forever but in 2 years you'll be 18 and able to be on your own.

(And, no, you don't sound like a "little girl." You sound like you've got a lot of stuff together.)

Yeah, I see what you're saying there.
I mean I would be able to get there. Yeah, but what I mean by I can't get there is my parents not letting me go anywhere without them taking me. And so if I was to say anything about that. They'd most likely kill me (not literally I hope not)
And the boyfriend thing. He makes me happy yes, he's the only one that really has so far and that understands me. The question that he had asked me was basically saying to something I told him that I was having those suicide type moments and stuff. And they always just seem to happen when I'm alone or not talking with anyone. And he had asked if I wanted him to come pick me up and have me stay at his house for the night and take me back in the morning. Which I can see why my parents would trip about it, but how far they've taken it no.

I do have a best friend like that yes, but sometimes I just can't talk to her about something's because she will just agree with basically everything I have said. So she doesn't always help with those kind of situations.

Thank you for your help though. It seriously really did help with the question I had asked.
And the age thing yeah I realized that after a while.
So I'm just going to wait till I get back in school and talk to my coucler about it, she always knows what to say with stuff like that.

Thank you.

[JudyKayTee]

Yeah, I see what you're saying there.
I mean I would be able to get there. Yeah, but what I mean by I can't get there is my parents not letting me go anywhere without them taking me. And so if I was to say anything about that. They'd most likely kill me (not literally I hope not)
And the boyfriend thing. He makes me happy yes, he's the only one that really has so far and that understands me. The question that he had asked me was basically saying to something I told him that I was having those suicide type moments and stuff. And they always just seem to happen when i'm alone or not talking with anyone. And he had asked if I wanted him to come pick me up and have me stay at his house for the night and take me back in the morning. Which I can see why my parents would trip about it, but how far they've taken it no.

I do have a best friend like that yes, but sometimes I just can't talk to her about somethings because she will just agree with basically everything I have said. So she doesn't always help with those kind of situations.

Thank you for your help though. It seriously really did help with the question I had asked.
And the age thing yeah I realized that after a while.
So I'm just going to wait till I get back in school and talk to my coucler about it, she always knows what to say with stuff like that.

Thank you.

You are REMARKABLY together for your age -

Your boyfriend sounds caring and supportive and understanding - I think maybe (for whatever reason) your parents' nerves are rubbed raw, probably nothing to do with you. Unfortunately parents hear "stay overnight at my house" and think, "This beast is going to have sex with my baby." :)

At age 15 emancipation is tough - is there a relative, perhaps, that your parents would let you live with? Someone could be appointed your guardian to avoid any legal issues - sometimes Grandparents or aunts/uncles will step in.

I think the unfortunate part of life is that sometimes parents and their children just don't get along - it's lovely, of course, if you do but if you don't - problems. A lot of times it's nobody's fault - parents live with their past experiences and everyone tries to paste those experiences (and I'm including myself) on other people's lives whether it's appropriate or not.

And you're right - and you made me smile - nobody wants/needs a "yes" friend. You say, "Does this make me look fat?" and she says, "No," because she's your friend and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. And with a personal problem it only gets less helpful. My friend "tells it like it is." I have, in the past, said to her, "Lie to me. Please lie to me." But she continues to be open and honest and sometimes brutal (or so I think because I'm the one she's criticizing).

I read somewhere - and I can't find it right now - that something like 85% of the population sometimes thinks the World would be better off without them, that they can't take it anymore - but they don't act on it, they just think about it, maybe for a fleeting second.

So talk to someone at school - or someone someplace else - and please come back and let us know you're okay?

(Oh, if your father criticizes your weight my gut tells me that he's unhappy with HIS weight - or was at some time in his life.)

Good luck!

[Fr_Chuck]

It is hard, first "living with" is not acceptable, since the courts know this can stop or change, you will have to be able to afford all of your own living costs, your own apartment by yourself, all your own living costs, and normally they con't include welfare. And you will have to show you can provide for your continued education. You wlil have to have enough money saved up to hire an attorney and pay all of the court costs,
And if things get too bad, there always is children services if things get too bad.

[KayKayBayBay]

You are REMARKABLY together for your age -

Your boyfriend sounds caring and supportive and understanding - I think maybe (for whatever reason) your parents' nerves are rubbed raw, probably nothing to do with you. Unfortunately parents hear "stay overnight at my house" and think, "This beast is going to have sex with my baby." :)

At age 15 emancipation is tough - is there a relative, perhaps, that your parents would let you live with? Someone could be appointed your guardian to avoid any legal issues - sometimes Grandparents or aunts/uncles will step in.

I think the unfortunate part of life is that sometimes parents and their children just don't get along - it's lovely, of course, if you do but if you don't - problems. A lot of times it's nobody's fault - parents live with their past experiences and everyone tries to paste those experiences (and I'm including myself) on other people's lives whether it's appropriate or not.

And you're right - and you made me smile - nobody wants/needs a "yes" friend. You say, "Does this make me look fat?" and she says, "No," because she's your friend and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. And with a personal problem it only gets less helpful. My friend "tells it like it is." I have, in the past, said to her, "Lie to me. Please lie to me." But she continues to be open and honest and sometimes brutal (or so I think because I'm the one she's criticizing).

I read somewhere - and I can't find it right now - that something like 85% of the population sometimes thinks the World would be better off without them, that they can't take it anymore - but they don't act on it, they just think about it, maybe for a fleeting second.

So talk to someone at school - or someone someplace else - and please come back and let us know you're okay?

(Oh, if your father criticizes your weight my gut tells me that he's unhappy with HIS weight - or was at some time in his life.)

Good luck!

Yeah because my dad was that type of kid when he was younger, so with that he thinks all teenage boys are the same way he was when he was younger. Yet the thing I don't ever get it he'll let my sister go with her boyfriend anywhere. It doesn't bug me because it gets quiet at the house haha.

But yeah I get what you say.
Like she'll never tell me I look fat in something and it bugs me haha because I'll purposely dress in something really tight for me and ask her and she'll say I don't and it's like AH and yeah.

Like my parents want to get me separate councling, but I don't really think that would help me because most of the time they always ask the same questions most other people do.
And my parents think I'm depressed because now I'm always in my room on the computer since they made me "break up" with my boyfriend. And I tried telling them that I wasn't/didn't want to break up with him and they told me they'd get a restraining order on him and send me to Michigan -.- I though that was kind of harsh in a way.

I donno, I don't get my parents their weird. I donno.

But school isn't for another like 2 or 3 months so yeah.
I donno I'm going to try and talk to them to let me see my boyfriend even if they have to be right there.

Thank you for your help though :)

[JudyKayTee]

Yeah because my dad was that type of kid when he was younger, so with that he thinks all teenage boys are the same way he was when he was younger. Yet the thing I don't ever get it he'll let my sister go with her boyfriend anywhere. It doesn't bug me because it gets quiet at the house haha.

But yeah I get what you say.
Like she'll never tell me I look fat in something and it bugs me haha because I'll purposely dress in something really tight for me and ask her and she'll say I don't and it's like AH and yeah.

Like my parents want to get me separate councling, but I don't really think that would help me because most of the time they always ask the same questions most other people do.
And my parents think i'm depressed because now i'm always in my room on the computer since they made me "break up" with my boyfriend. And I tried telling them that I wasn't/didn't want to break up with him and they told me they'd get a restraining order on him and send me to Michigan -.- I though that was kinda harsh in a way.

I donno, I don't get my parents their weird. I donno.

But school isn't for another like 2 or 3 months so yeah.
I donno i'm gonna try and talk to them to let me see my boyfriend even if they have to be right there.

Thank you for your help though :)

Let us know how you're doing - check in from time to time.

[KayKayBayBay]

Let us know how you're doing - check in from time to time.

Well, it's gotten much, much, much worse.

Well because my parents treat me differently then they did before I had told them about my problems and stuff, and so I really don't like to socialize with them that much anymore, so I just come in my room and listen to music and get on the computer. Don't get me wrong I do still talk to them and stuff, just it's not the same. And I knew it wouldn't be the same because I knew how they were going to react to my problems, because they haven't really experienced them like I am. So they might think that they have to treat me differently, but really they don't. And my dad is telling me if I don't stop acting like I am and stop thinking like that or what ever, that he's just going to ship me off to Michigan, which I don't see how that is going to really help anything right? I've tried talking to them, but it doesn't seem to help, so I don't see what I'm going to do about it. And yeah I would go live with relatives, but most of them are druggies,drunks,prostitutes. Basically stuff I really don't want to get involved with. So I donno.
Haha, how should I fix that problem?

[KayKayBayBay]

It is hard, first "living with" is not acceptable, since the courts know this can stop or change, you will have to be able to afford all of your own living costs, your own apartment by yourself, all your own living costs, and normally they con't include welfare. And you will have to show you can provide for your continued education. You wlil have to have enough money saved up to hire an attorney and pay all of the court costs,
And if things get too bad, there always is children services if things get too bad.

Well, I have people that would adopt me out of this house.
So I have a place to stay and all. And I cannot call CPS or anything. I'm to scared to, because I told my dad that I was going to and the only thing he ever says' to that is, "Go right ahead, I'll get out one day and trust me, it will be ten times worse." So that's the only reason I don't..
And I'm not going to be in school anymore I'm going to be home schooled.

[westnlas]

You san't do anything without a lawyer. Call one and make an appointment for a consultation. Most have a free consultation to see if you have a case. At that time they will discuss the fees and payment schedule. Then you know which way to jump. If you con ride it out for 24 months, you're out of there anyway!

[JudyKayTee]

You san't do anything without a lawyer. Call one and make an appointment for a consultation. Most have a free consultation to see if you have a case. At that time they will discuss the fees and payment schedule. Then you know which way to jump. If you con ride it out for 24 months, you're out of there anyway!

She's 15 - no Attorney will consult with a 15-year old because she is underage. She could go with an adult, of course, but she cannot arrange a consultation by herself unless it's through Family Court.

[ScottGem]

Well, I have people that would adopt me out of this house.
So I have a place to stay and all. And I cannot call CPS or anything. I'm to scared to, because I told my dad that I was going to and the only thing he ever says' to that is, "Go right ahead, I'll get out one day and trust me, it will be ten times worse." So that's the only reason I don't..
And I'm not going to be in school anymore i'm going to be home schooled.

At this point your ONLY hope is getting CPS and/or a third party (clergyman, school guidance counselor) involved to mediate.

[KayKayBayBay]

She's 15 - no Attorney will consult with a 15-year old because she is underage. She could go with an adult, of course, but she cannot arrange a consultation by herself unless it's through Family Court.

Yeah, like my boyfriends mom WANTS to take me in with the situation I'm in.
So they're thinking about just like if I do get emancipated or whatever that they're just going to take me in and me and my boyfriend are already getting jobs and stuff so we'll be getting money so when he moves out if I'm still living with his mom then I will be getting money so when I move in with him we can already have money and stuff to pay for the bills and stuff. So we have everything planned out and stuff.

So yeah, we have a lawyer dude that we're going to talk to, but we're like playing phone tag with him because when we try to call him he's out, but then when he calls we're out and so yeahhh. Kind of donno what to do about that.

[ScottGem]

You are not going to get emancipated by moving in with another family. And, if your bf's parents give you shelter, your parents can sue them for a variety of things like alienation, kidnapping and more.

[N0help4u]

It is good you are talking to a lawyer and his parents are willing to take her in IF you get emancipated. It could be a long process though with your phone tag situation and is your mother willing to allow you to get emancipated? That could possibly be your main problem if she does not go along with it.

[KayKayBayBay]

You are not going to get emancipated by moving in with another family. And, if your bf's parents give you shelter, your parents can sue them for a variety of things like alienation, kidnapping and more.

If I am emancipated, they can't do anything about me, because they won't have control over me any more. So I don't see how they can say I was, 'kidnapped, alienated.' or anything so yeah they really can't.

[ScottGem]

You are missing the point. To get emancipated you have to show you can live on your own. This means provding your own shelter, feeding yourself, etc. If you go into court the judge asks you where you are going to live and you answer; with my boyfriend's family, that's not going to fly. If you DO answer that way, your parents attorney jumps up and protests that his family is turning you away from yours.

And that leaves them in toruble.

[JudyKayTee]

If I am emancipated, they can't do anything about me, because they won't have control over me any more. So I don't see how they can say I was, 'kidnapped, alienated.' or anything so yeah they really can't.

You misunderstood Scott - step one is proving you are self-supporting, able to care for yourself. Then, if that is the case and you are self-sustaining (better word than "self supporting") in ALL ways, then you would be emancipated and then you could live wherever you want to live. With your boyfriend, with his mother, by yourself.

But you can't take step two (the moving in step) without first getting emancipated and the Court will not accept a moving in with the mother as evidence that you are self-sustaining. The Courts wants a guarantee that if you for whatever reason have to leave the mother's house you can take care of yourself and NOT become a public charge (Welfare).

If you just leave your house, apply to be emancipated, move in with the mother she CAN and possibly WILL be charged with everything from custodial interference on down the line. You can and possibly will be placed in a detention center and she could face jail time. I'm sure you don't want that because she's apparently good to you.

Otherwise I have no answer for you other than what's already been said.

[KayKayBayBay]

You misunderstood Scott - step one is proving you are self-supporting, able to care for yourself. Then, if that is the case and you are self-sustaining (better word than "self supporting") in ALL ways, then you would be emancipated and then you could live wherever you want to live. With your boyfriend, with his mother, by yourself.

But you can't take step two (the moving in step) without first getting emancipated and the Court will not accept a moving in with the mother as evidence that you are self-sustaining. The Courts wants a guarantee that if you for whatever reason have to leave the mother's house you can take care of yourself and NOT become a public charge (Welfare).

If you just leave your house, apply to be emancipated, move in with the mother she CAN and possibly WILL be charged with everything from custodial interference on down the line. You can and possibly will be placed in a detention center and she possibly could face jail time. I'm sure you don't want that because she's apparently good to you.

Otherwise I have no answer for you other than what's already been said.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, I though he had meant something else.

Okay, but like how can I like be removed from my family and then placed into the custody of his family. Because my house isn't really a safe environment for me to be living in with my emotional health and stuff. My dad is wanting me to just all of the sudden just stop acting like I do, every time I try to explain stuff to him or talk to him about it he just turns around and basically ignores me all the time. And my mom just goes with him and doesn't really do anything about it anymore. So I have like nothing. I mean every time they go somewhere to eat and they know that place makes me sick or something and I say no I'll get sick from it all my dad says is, "fine then you don't have to eat." And stuff like that.

They don't even trust me to sit outside or anything, they always accuse me of something.

And my sister is always acting like the good kid, which when ever I do my parents assume I did something bad and I get in trouble. And my sister isn't always good either. She can back talk them or anything and they don't do anything about it. But if I say one thing that sounds bad to them, they threaten to send me away or something.
I don't get it :/