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    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #1

    Jun 15, 2008, 11:32 PM
    Children's logic
    If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers .

    Q: Name the four seasons.

    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?

    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: What are steroids?

    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?

    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

    A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

    A: Premature death.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g. abdomen)

    A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

    Q: What is the fibula?
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one... )

    A: Nearby.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'

    A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'

    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
    firmbeliever's Avatar
    firmbeliever Posts: 2,919, Reputation: 463
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    #2

    Jun 15, 2008, 11:40 PM
    I couldn't help but laugh out loud!

    These need repeating!
    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g. abdomen)
    A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

    Q: What is the fibula?
    A: A small lie.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #3

    Jun 15, 2008, 11:42 PM
    LOL... glad you enjoyed them firmy :)
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #4

    Jun 16, 2008, 12:39 PM
    You are hilarious as usual! My favorite one is... ALL of them!
    frangipanis's Avatar
    frangipanis Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 75
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    #5

    Jun 16, 2008, 07:08 PM
    They're all hilarious... lol!

    I remember when my son was still learning to read and how one day while we were out driving he read out loud:

    "TURN LEFT AT ANY TIME WITH CAR"

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