[Devistated]

Hello, My boyfriend broke up with me and immediately started to pursue another women last Oct. I was devistated. We also lived together. I didn't find out until a month later after their relationship ended. I ended up moving out New Years Eve. We continued to see each other. The whole time he was telling me that he wasn't dating anyone else. Well after some snooping I found out that he had been dating another woman last March. I spoke with her and she said they never kissed or anything they just went out a few times. Regardless he lied to me. I don't care if we were not together. He strung me along and kept his options open. He ended up taking me back in April. He wanted us to start looking for a house together. I didn't feel like I should do that with him until I had a firm commitment. He got mad and distanced himself for a day or two. During this time I started talking to this guy online. I even took it a step further and drove 440 miles to meet him. Well one thing led to another and we ended up in bed and stayed there for 4 days. We did go out a couple of times. Anyway I eventually drove home. I started distancing myself from my on again off again boyfriend. He started to get really bothered by that. So now he is starting to come around. He came clean about being unfaithful and appologized for hurting me. He just asked me to marry him, gave me the ring and wants me to move back in with him. The problem is I still think about the other guy a lot. But I also prayed for the day that my BF would ask for my hand in marriage. I accepted the ring and I'm trying to buy myself some time until I figure out what I'm doing. Can men change? What should I do? Run like Hell!!

[liz28]

Run like hell!

[shellyjo68]

I doesn't sound like either one of you is ready to be married. RUN!!

[JBeaucaire]

Oh my. Taking that ring was a total lie. Now YOU are the one who has to come clean. How does that feel?

You are going to tell him everything you told us, right? How much of an idiot do you think he's going to feel like after that? Coming clean to you and asking your forgiveness while you stood there with your mouth shut on your own WORSE unfaithfulness.

Running should be going on here, but HE should be doing the running.

You going to keep lying to him or what?

[confused1145]

Everyone has the potential to change. Continue to pray about your situation. Follow your heart.

[Nestorian]

Niether run nor hide, nor accept. Simply come clean with yourself first. Accept that you love him, but there are other guys, possible better guys out there. Also, know that people can change, just not so easily. It takes a long time, and a lot of pain, and self realization. His actions speak louder than his words, payattention, and not to judge him for doing what he has done. Maybe he is just insecure, and yes kept you on the side while he did his thing, but if you were feeling particularly insecure, what would you do? Even if you don't know his reason, you can ask, and not judge, but get information.

And if you don't know, or are asking should I or shouldn't I, why not wait? There is no time like the now, and what is happening right now? A possible romance with another man, or a (by the sound of things) big chance with your Possible future husband. Then again, maybe niether is the one, and you find another guy, and he is ten times that of either, then what, if you're married? Rather than play the what if game till you go nuts, just focuse on here and now, and if they are that guy you feel you belong with, then sure go for it, but remember it takes time, a lot of time to realise which moment is the one to make that desission. Try not to let the fear of losing a possible future interfear with your choice, that would be a dark and painful road. That's where, it's all your fault comes in wher really you made the choice, weather he is this or that is of no consiquence. Eh?

I appolagise for my spelling...

May love and kindness be with you my friend.