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cunfuzed · Jun 12, 2008, 09:53 AM

How hard would it be to get a case dismissed in a custody/child support complaint if the defendant is contesting. What would happened if the plaintif requested to dismiss the case? Plaintiff in this case has temporary custody per CO.

JudyKayTee · Jun 12, 2008, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by cunfuzed

How hard would it be to get a case dismissed in a custody/child support complaint if the defendent is contesting. What would happend if the plaintif requested to dismiss the case? Plaintiff in this case has temporary custody per CO.

Once the Defendant files a response at least in my area a family court (which this is) case CANNOT be dropped by the Plaintiff. If the Plaintiff chooses not to appear only the Defendant is heard -

If dropping the case were allowed these cases would be filed to test the waters and only default (no response from the Defendant) cases would be heard and decided - obviously in favor of the Plaintiff because the Defendant would not have responded.

cunfuzed · Jun 12, 2008, 12:01 PM

When parents don’t get along or communicate, how is this used in determining the best interest of the child for custody and visitation?

ScottGem · Jun 12, 2008, 12:06 PM

This is not something that can be set out. This is why judges make these decisions, because they have hopefully been trained or have the experience to do so.

Different court systems may have a set of guidelines to go by, it it ultimately rests in the judgement of the presiding judge.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 12, 2008, 02:42 PM

Yes, normally children are used as a weapon to be used to try to hurt the other side, and normally for the parents often "best interest" has little to do with what they are doing. It is then up to the judge to decide what the judge may often believe is best, and often it is not even what is best but what is legally required.

cunfuzed · Jun 12, 2008, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Yes, normally children are used as a weapon to be used to try to hurt the other side, and normally for the parents often "best interest" has little to do with what they are doing. It is then up to the judge to decide what the judge may often beleive is best, and often it is not even what is best but what is legally required.

Then my next question is, what is legally required? As far as status quo, Ive have taken care of my chilld since birth. He started visiting a few months ago and paying CS after temp CO was issued. Its been rocky. We don't get along, and I keep our converstaions short and to the point about the baby to avoid him arguing and cursing at me, which he's done in the past. Child is 15 months now.

ScottGem · Jun 12, 2008, 04:37 PM

Again, there may be local guidelines, but not a lot of legal requirements.

In your case, he's paying support and being a part of the child's life. You don't have to have any contact with him other than to release and pick up the child. You are doing the right thing in keeping your contacts and conversation short. If he starts in on you simply, tell him for the sake of OUR child lets keep things civil between us.

cunfuzed · Jun 13, 2008, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Again, there may be local guidelines, but not a lot of legal requirements.

In your case, he's paying support and being a part of the child's life. You don't have to have any contact with him other than to release and pick up the child. You are doing the right thing in keeping your contacts and conversation short. If he starts in on you simply, tell him for the sake of OUR child lets keep things civil between us.

Thanks. Is there anyway to ask aprivate question to one or more of the senior members?

ScottGem · Jun 13, 2008, 07:35 AM

This is a public forum and we prefer to keep questions and answers public so that all members can benefit. Most of us will not take private questions. That's why we recommend using an alias so your are, essentially, anonymous.

So please ask your question in this thread.

twinkiedooter · Jun 13, 2008, 09:16 AM

You may want to look into the Guardian Ad Litem program if this is available in your area. They come out and interview both households and then make their recommendation to the judge. It is not free, however, but it can effectively spell out to the judge which household would hopefully be a better match for the child custody wise and also visitation matters.

cunfuzed · Jun 24, 2008, 07:15 AM

Ex told judge he he had no other CS obligations. Within 1 week after judge issues temp order for CS and visitation, he filed for modification of CS asking to lower CS because he has another CS. In his statement he said he was paying 200-300 via direct deposit. It was odd he didn't tell the judge, and didn't know exact amount so I got a copy of that order (in another state). It orders him to pay 150 CS, plus 350 for daycare. That order was from 2001 and the child is now 10 yrs old.

Will court assume the child is no longer in daycare?

How can I find out if the amount has changed and if he is still paying the support. I tried calling the Child support office, but they say that information is private and its possible he is paying directly to the mother.

I have the contact info for the mother of the other child. I want to ask if our kids could meet and have a relationship. I also want to ask her about what the actual amount is, but I am not sure about how to approach her about this. She and my ex do not communicate, nor does me and my ex, so I am sure she is not even aware he has another child. Any advice on how to explain this toher via email?

JudyKayTee · Jun 24, 2008, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by cunfuzed

Ex told judge he he had no other CS obligations. Within 1 week after judge issues temp order for CS and visitation, he filed for modification of CS asking to lower CS because he has another CS. In his statement he said he was paying 200-300 via direct deposit. it was odd he didnt tell the judge, and didnt know exact amount so I got a copy of that order (in another state). It orders him to pay 150 CS, plus 350 for daycare. That order was from 2001 and the child is now 10 yrs old.

will court assume the child is no longer in daycare?

How can I find out if the amount has changed and if he is still paying the support. I tried calling the Child support office, but they say that information is private and its possible he is paying directly to the mother.

I have the contact info for the mother of the other child. I want to ask if our kids could meet and have a relationship. I also want to ask her about what the actual amount is, but I am not sure about how to approach her about this. She and my ex do not communicate, nor does me and my ex, so I am sure she is not even aware he has another child. any advice on how to explain this toher via email?

I have no idea why he "forgot" the first order, the amount -

No, it's entirely possible a 10-year old child of a working mother is in some sort of after school program, summer day care program so the Court won't assume he/she isn't.

You have no legal standing to find out any info about his other support order - it will, of course, be revealed in Court.

I would stay away from the other mother of the other child - you are only going to cause yourself more problems. When the whole support issue is over, then decide what to do, but right now I'd leave it alone. No matter what your intentions, taken in context with the rest of your post it sounds like you're on a fact finding mission.

ScottGem · Jun 24, 2008, 07:40 AM

If you want to find out about the other support info, have your attorney subpeona the records as part of your case.

As to contacting the other mother, wait until your case is completed.

cunfuzed · Jun 24, 2008, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

If you want to find out about the other support info, have your attorney subpeona the records as part of your case.

As to contacting the other mother, wait until your case is completed.

Thanks. But why should I wait? What is the worse that could happen?

ScottGem · Jun 24, 2008, 07:56 AM

You could be seen as interfering with his relationship with the other child. This could affect your court case.

cunfuzed · Jun 24, 2008, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You could be seen as interfering with his relationship with the other child. This could affect your court case.

Wow, that is vital. I thought maybe I could get info from her regarding his chatacter, becaue I have a feeling we will have to have a merits trial.

I'll leave it alone for now, but I would like son to meet his sibling. Would it be a good idea to mention in court he chooses to have no relationship with other child...

ScottGem · Jun 24, 2008, 08:13 AM

Your attorney should be advising you on this. It may or may not be a good idea.

JudyKayTee · Jun 24, 2008, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by cunfuzed

Wow, that is vital. I thought maybe I could get info from her regarding his chatacter, becaue I have a feeling we will have to have a merits trial.

I'll leave it alone for now, but i would like son to meet his sibling. Would it be a good idea to mention in court he chooses to have no relationship with other child.....

Here's my problem - you posted that you would contact her in order to allow the children to get to know each other.

Now it appears your motive is to exactly what I said - a fact finding mission.

NEVER a good idea to do this on your own - either hire someone or have your Attorney take care of it - you are going to look like a stalker to the Court.

And if for whatever reason the first mother decides to take his side you could really damage yourself by whatever you say to her.

stinawords · Jun 24, 2008, 08:57 AM

I too would recommend not contacting the other mother until your court case is taken care of. If you already have a lawyer you should really address some of these concerns with him/her such as the other child support order he has to pay. I have actually know of quite a few guys that didn't know exactly how much was being taken from their paycheck for child support because it comes out as a percent (not an exact dollar amount each pay period). He may have that type of order and if your lawyer actually those records then the judge will have more to work with.

cunfuzed · Jun 24, 2008, 09:19 AM

I will not contact her until afterwards, and it will only be to establish a relationship between our kids. If she says no, I will leave it alone.

I didn't want to appear as a stalker, but Judy you are right I want the facts, because the ex has lied so much to the court about things, that I am just trying to get my ducks in a row, especially about the aweful lies he has come up with about me. He cancelled the mediation appt because he didn't have the money. Its possible we may have to go to a merits trial, so I just want to be prepared. We are both pro se, never married.