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    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
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    #521

    Jun 12, 2008, 08:15 AM
    Hi Starlite this is the yonger one. I feel so stupid for getting involved with her. I knew better, I really did. But the NC rule is a lifesaver. I am so glad for you people and this site.
    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #522

    Jun 12, 2008, 08:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by plonak
    The thing is i never really had any routine on the weekends, i always played it by ear, and it was usually when my Ex was avaiable that we would do something.. so now that i dont have my ex around i have nothing (except for studying) I guess i could try to see if some friends would like to hang out but it's hard again because they all want to spend time with their guys..

    i don't have very many friends to begin with.. but i guess i can always make new ones. way easier said than done

    Hi. Making friends can be difficult. But Al-Anon can be a great way to meet new people and friends. I too am involved in 12 step programs. Another 12 step group you may find of interest is Codependents Anonymous (CODA).

    Weekends can be hard as can anytime that we used to spend with those we cared about. I don't envy having to study with your ex. That would be difficult I should think.
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
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    #523

    Jun 12, 2008, 08:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by f104
    Hi Starlite this is the yonger one. I feel so stupid for getting involved with her. I knew better, I really did. But the NC rule is a lifesaver. I am so glad for you people and this site.
    Hi F104,

    Don't beat yourself up at all. This is so not your fault. You saw a nice person in her, and you wanted to give it a chance, which you did. That is really nice. Unfortunately she was not the person that you thought (again, not your fault). The fact that you tried, is so nice. You WILL meet the right woman for you, without a doubt. In the meantime, you try and keep yourself busy, and know that you are good guy with good values.

    We are glad to have you here too! :)
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #524

    Jun 12, 2008, 08:51 AM
    Plonak, have you tried myspace? Or Facebook by any chance? They are great social sites to try and make friends. Where do you currently reside anyway?
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #525

    Jun 12, 2008, 09:26 AM
    I live in California

    I had a myspace and took it down because it was too painful to go on, too many memories!

    But last night turned out interesting.. just when I'm wallowing in myself pity, my friend tells me she is going to break up with her boyfriend and needed my comfort and I raced over and talked with her a lot of the night.. it was great! It was nice to help someone go through something that I'm going through myself.
    gg23's Avatar
    gg23 Posts: 72, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
    		  
    #526

    Jun 12, 2008, 09:27 AM
    You guys are a blessing!! NNG.. true my friend... your anniversary huh? On man... I wish days like that would just be skipped from the calender... 4 years? Oh boy I cannot even imagine I was with her only for 2 yrs... the longest I have been with anyone... but I guess in my mind I was already married to her and had a future planned etc... last night I was I felt so much pain that I think it's illegal... the legal system should maybe come up with a sanction for people that break people's heart... LOL... maybe that would make them think twice huh?? hahah... anyway it was nice so I went for a walk... funny thing is that she is keeping in touch with my sister...
    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
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    #527

    Jun 12, 2008, 10:49 AM
    Starlite thanks for the support. I have been reading your posts and you are a source of encouragement.


    Quote Originally Posted by plonak
    I live in California

    I had a myspace and took it down because it was too painful to go on, too many memories!!

    But last night turned out interesting.. just when I'm wallowing in my self pity, my friend tells me she is going to break up with her boyfriend and needed my comfort and i raced over and talked with her a lot of the night.. it was great!! It was nice to help someone go through something that I'm going through myself.

    That is interesting. A buddy of mine broke up with his GF of 4 years a couple of days before me. So we have both been miserable together, LOL.
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #528

    Jun 12, 2008, 10:55 AM
    It really helps though to have this site of course, but to have a good friend go through the same thing, you can be there for each other and understand each others pain.
    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
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    #529

    Jun 12, 2008, 10:59 AM
    Yes plonak I agree with you there.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #530

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by f104
    That is interesting. A buddy of mine broke up with his GF of 4 years a couple of days before me. So we have both been miserable together, LOL.
    Its always nice to have someone to go through this with. You'll feel better eventually. At 1 month 3 weeks I will admit its still pretty hard at times and I am not anywhere near over it, but I feel soooo much better than I did before. So I know that time and nc works. And I know you are dying for her to contact you, I was just like that, I think my phone didn't leave my hand for a couple weeks. But eventually you will stop doing that. I think what you have to do is really accept its over, and as soon as that hope is gone you can truly start to get over it.
    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #531

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
    its always nice to have someone to go through this with. You'll feel better eventually. At 1 month 3 weeks I will admit its still pretty hard at times and I am not anywhere near over it, but I feel soooo much better than I did before. So I know that time and nc works. And I know you are dying for her to contact you, I was just like that, I think my phone didn't leave my hand for a couple weeks. But eventually you will stop doing that. I think what you have to do is really accept its over, and as soon as that hope is gone you can truly start to get over it.

    Ah, dude your post almost made me cry. I carry my phone around with me constantly. As you see acceptance is key. I am trying to get out of mind "I will never meet another like her" and other unhelpful thoughts.
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
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    #532

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:09 AM
    That's good... those thoughts are not helpful at all... but you are right you will never find another like her.. you will find BETTER than her :)
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #533

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:13 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by damaged
    That's good...those thoughts are not helpful at all...but you are right you will never find another like her..you will find BETTER than her :)
    Damn straight!!
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
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    #534

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by damaged
    That's good...those thoughts are not helpful at all...but you are right you will never find another like her..you will find BETTER than her :)
    Well Said! That is so true F104. You will meet someone better for sure!! :)
    f104's Avatar
    f104 Posts: 123, Reputation: 7
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    #535

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:35 AM
    You guys all rock!! I am so glad we can all find strength and positive help here.
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
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    #536

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by f104
    You guys all rock!!! I am so glad we can all find strength and positive help here.
    Oh absolutley! If it wasn't for all of you, I would be crying 24/7...
    classicrocker's Avatar
    classicrocker Posts: 26, Reputation: 4
    New Member
    		  
    #537

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:52 AM
    Everyone!! Have A Strong Good Day!! I Mean It!
    damaged's Avatar
    damaged Posts: 186, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
    		  
    #538

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:54 AM
    Hey rocker!.
    Hope you're feeling good.. & Have a strong day u 2 :)
    classicrocker's Avatar
    classicrocker Posts: 26, Reputation: 4
    New Member
    		  
    #539

    Jun 12, 2008, 12:13 PM
    Im trying! Lol
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
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    #540

    Jun 12, 2008, 12:15 PM
    Thanks Rocker,

    You too! Are you feeling good today?
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