[Questions2007]

The age old question of when to call a girl after the first date here! I don't want to do it too soon, but also don't want to hang around too long. People often say the 3 day rule is best but she has contacted me since the date.

We went out last night, had a great time. We actually met 4 weeks ago but it took a while to have the date as she went away on holiday. So in between meeting and the date we have been in pretty regular touch, 3 or 4 times a week via e-mail/text.

It is actually her birthday today (the day after our date), so I took her a small gift, a book, nothing major.

She texted me this morning saying thanks for a nice time, and thanks for the present and asking if I made it back OK. I replied, said yes, I also had a nice time, and that I hoped she had a good birthday.

When should I make the contact to ask her out again?

[HistorianChick]

Why not? You had a great time, she enjoyed your birthday present and initiated a return text, and you want to go out again... those are the ingredients of a second date, my friend!

There's nothing wrong with breaking the proverbial "three day rule." Honestly? As a woman? There is no such thing. If the date was a success- as it sounds like yours was - I, as a woman, would love to hear that you had a great time and want to do it again.

Good luck, hon! :) Ask her! :)

[JBeaucaire]

Yes, contact her, as soon as you know what you'd like to do. Keep your mind focused on her and not the clock/calendar.

And talking directly to her allows you to more accurately gauge how she is responding to you. "Yes" by voice or in person includes a LOT more information than "Yes" in an email/text. The same goes for "no".

[AlwaysWriting]

Follow the three day rule.

[JBeaucaire]

There is no 3-day rule. That's a horrible myth spread by insecure people. Every single person in a working relationship will attest to the rules (like this one) being obstacles to healthy interactions.

The only rule in dating, the only REAL rule, is be honest... even if it hurts, be honest. Even if it means your relationship will end, BE HONEST.

Now, you can WAIT 3 days if you have nothing to say for 3 days, and you may need to force yourself to wait several days if you're an overly clingy person and can't stop from coming across on the phone like a stalker, only you know if you have that problem.

But if you are a calm person with something interesting to talk about, call when you're thinking about it and talk about it. When you're done, wish them a good day and hang up.

3-day rule... (chuckle) Who needs junk like that? Maybe you do, but it's not a rule.

[talaniman]

Me, I call and see when she is free, and if she wants to go out again. Never be discouraged if she has other plans, you can always try again later.