[yvette516]

I am 43 years old with a 2 year old boy, a 17 year old girl, an 18 year old boy and a 20 year old daughter who has a 3 month old baby boy. My husband ( the two year olds father is in jail for drug possesion)will NOT be coming back. The 20 year old is bi-polar, ADD and ODD. She has been in 3 live in juvenile justice programs (for 9 months each time).
She can't keep a job, doesn't have a driver's license, no GED. I supported her while she was pregnant and as long as she was taking her meds (haldol) she was bearable.

Since the baby was born she has stopped taking her meds, she quit her job, laid around the house all day doing nothing. She doesn't really take good care of the baby. I know she loves the baby but I feel like she just likes the fact she can say " that's my baby".
I was having the baby sleep in my room at night because she was making him sleep in the carseat next to her twin bed or in the bed with her. It was worth it to me to have to get up in the middle of the night and feed him knowing I still had to get up and go to work. I wanted him to feel loved and to be held...

She doesn't want to ever put the seatbelt on when we go off in the car so its always an argument. She doesn't change his diaper until it's completely soaked. She doesn't hold him to feed him. She puts him in the car seat and props a bottle up (even though I have told her several times about the importance of holding him and bonding with him.) She says " Don't F-ing tell me how to raise my baby!"

Recently there was a neglect case opened with CFS and the counselors who come to the house were telling me to get guardianship now while my daughter was agreeing to it.

But every time I talked with an atty they tell me that Guardianship is for kids who have trust funds and need someone to manage it.

All I want to do is to protect the baby in case my daughter gets in trouble again. She is not with the babies father and probably never will be. She will meet guys on the internet and give them directions to our house and will leave with the baby even though she has never met them. Since she has been 18, she's been in jail 2-3 times. The father of the baby is no better and they both have domestic violent charges.

My neighbor has something called "Relative caregiver" (or something like that) for her niece.

The probem is... two days ago, during a meltdown, my daughter threatened to burn my 2 year old son (her brother) and say that I did it... She also said she was going to go to pick up my son fro the daycare ( two streets over) early and beat the crap out of him because he accidentally hit her in the head with a plastic bowling pin. I was already starting the eviction process but threatening my sone like that was the last straw. I filed a restraining order against her and made her leave... of course she took the baby with her and right now she is at a domestic violence shelter. (we know because she keeps calling everyone saying how terrible it is there- you have to wake up at a certain time and do chores... blah blah blah... Welcome to the real world!


When she left she said " you will never see this baby again!" She was calling me every name in the book while the policeman escorted her out of the house.
It was one of the hardest things Ive had to do but it had to be done. You wouldn't believe the things Ive been through and done for this girl! My ex- husband ( my older kids Dad) had been keeping the baby with him every weekend. We have discussed all along that we will probably be the ones to raise the baby. We knew that she would try and use the baby as a pawn to get what she wants which is to lay around all day doing absolutely nothing but watching TV and making a mess while I take care of the baby when I come home from work and I kept him during the night.. then her Dad would keep him all weekend. So she pretty much had it made.

I just feel bad for my grandson... CFS may still want me to get at least temporary custody until she gets her life straightened out. It would be good for my son to have the baby around but for now I'm just "Letting go and Letting God". Whatever happens, will happen and was meant to be.

Is anyone else in this type of situation? How did you handle it?
The weird thing is... I was adopted and raised by my Maternal Grandparents and my Grandmother was also raised by her Grandparents. It seems to skip a generation in between. Goodnight, Yvette

[yvette516]

Thanks so much... I'll definitely go and check it out.
Yvette

[Fr_Chuck]

It may merely be a issue of wording, in your state what they may call it is custody, but you have the girl sign the cusody of the child over to you.
** where is the father?? Is he paying support

[blackblue]

I would defiantly do everything possible to gain custody of that child.She is a very unstable person (unfortunately) and does not need to care for that child in that state of mind.

Update us on what's going on when you can!