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    bambi2000's Avatar
    bambi2000 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2008, 03:17 PM
    Refusal to return daughter per court order
    We have a court order that my daughter is to visit w/ her father 4 weeks during summer in Indiana. He is order to provide in writing the schedule. He picked her up on June 7th (FLorida, where I live), and was scheduled to return her July 7th. 20 minutes after picking her up he sends me an email saying he will not return her until the 12th. I attempted to call him and he told me tuff tell it to the judge. What can I do? Do I have any rights to get her back on time? Or let the courts know he is going against the order?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2008, 03:26 PM
    He has got until July 7th under the court order, but you have an e mail with him refusing to return her on time. If he doesn't, t hen you have to notify the courts he has defaulted on the agreement.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2008, 03:33 PM
    Rather that start a fight on this, did you attempt to determine why he wasn't going to return her until the 12th? Do you really need to cause a battle over 5 days?

    The child should come first here. I suspect your divorce has been acrimonious so that he didn't feel you would be understanding that he needed an extra 5 days.

    You can go to the court and present the e-mail and try to get him cited for contempt of court. But I think you would be better off telling him, look if you needed a little extra time, just ask. Five days isn't a big deal. At least he's telling you he will bring her back.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jun 8, 2008, 03:40 PM
    Yes I seem to have an issue with getting so upset over 5 days, was plane tickets cheaper, or perhaps not wanting to travel right over the July 4th or a 100 reason, and of course do you have it from any sourse than the child, the other parent may have merely said something to mess with you also.

    If the child is not returned on time, you can file with the court, but to be honest in 5 days there is little the court will do.

    Can I assume this is a "bad" divorce and the child is often used as a battle ground?
    bambi2000's Avatar
    bambi2000 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 8, 2008, 03:41 PM
    Yes, he said he wanted her an extra five days so he can hang out at his house. What keeps happening is he asks for extra things, like me to drive half way to Tenessee and meet him half way and thing like that, I do try to work with him. Every time I give him an inch he insists on a mile. I do try to work things out with him but the basic response I get, as I stated earlier is a f*** you, I don't care. And hung up on. So I don't feel like I am starting a fight, I feel like he demands specific in the court order, and its my tuff luck if he doesn't feel like going by it. Doesn't seem much like a 50/50 to me. Thank you for your help:)
    bambi2000's Avatar
    bambi2000 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 8, 2008, 03:45 PM
    No, basically the court order states we work out our agrrement, then he is to put it in writing, (we have had previous issues with following court order). We agreed upon the dates, then a half hour after I dropped her off I got the email from him. I tried to call him and gfind out what was going on and he cursed me out and said tuff talk to a judge, then he hung up on me. Basically, it's a deal with it type of situation.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Jun 8, 2008, 04:38 PM
    Sounds like may be doing these things just to get a rise out of you, so don't rise to the bait.

    I'm just not sure there is much you can do about this. Have you discussed this with your attorney?
    bambi2000's Avatar
    bambi2000 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 8, 2008, 07:53 PM
    To be honest with you, I really can't afford an attorney. I did hire one, when we originally went to court, but I spent every penny I managed to save on him, plus some. I do appreciate the advise, you are probably right. I guess I'm just scared that if he feels he can do this now, it will be a long running problem.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Jun 9, 2008, 05:52 AM
    I would write a letter to the judge that issued the court order. Detail all the abuses and violation that he has done. Ask the judge to suggest your next step. He may not respond, but its worth a shot.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Jun 9, 2008, 05:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by bambi2000
    To be honest with you, I really can't afford an attorney. I did hire one, when we originally went to court, but I spent every penny I managed to save on him, plus some. I do appreciate the advise, you are probably right. I guess I'm just scared that if he feels he can do this now, it will be a long running problem.


    I would get her back (5 days late) and then keep this in mind the next time around -

    Don't understand why this is not Court ordered - but it doesn't look like it is.

    Did you ever straighten out the back child support?
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