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Dorlexit · Jun 5, 2008, 05:21 PM

If I am 17 years of age and finish High School and decide to get married but my guardian does not have a way to prove I'm hers, what do I do? I am 8 Months pregnant and need to be married before conceiving the baby!

Hi I am 17 and I am Just a ordernay girl who worked for a clothing store, I've been working for this store fore about 2 months. I was the christian type girl who focused on life itself and one day I meet this guy after meeting several other guys execpt this one was special! He came in looking for clothes just like any other guy and I ask him if I could help him and he looked and was about to say no but when we made eye contact he decided he wanted help. Looking in his eyes was like he already belong to me. We had a fun and exciting go around for clothes and whatever I saw in him I wanted more. I waited for him to come around again but it was about two weeks before I saw him, well to cut the story short we stated a relationship and he did ask my age and I did not give it to him. He found out by me leaving my report card at his apartment. Well I left my parents to be with him and been living with him since. I am now 8 months pregnant with a little girl and Im proud about him being the dad. I have finish school and plan to continue my education. He is a helicopter pilot for air rescue. He is the age of 49. He will be 50 in September and I'll be 18 in August. We really do love each other and plan to get married before having the baby. What do you think about the relationship? Do you believe in true love? Does the age make a deferents? Please be Honest!

HarajukuGirl · Jun 5, 2008, 05:39 PM

If you really want to get married, travel to a different state where the marriage age is lower.

"There are some states that you can get married as long as you have parental permission. If you are under the age of 18 and have a child you can get married without parental permission in these two states that I know of.. Florida and Georgia"
(I don't know if that's correct, you would have to do some research on this)

Why do you NEED to get married? What diffrence would it make if you are married or not when the baby is born? The important thing is for the baby to have a good loving caring mother and father.

If you can't manage to get married, then wait a bit until your old enough, a signed paper and a ring doesn't mean a lot, it's the love and care you and your significant other have for each other.

Best of luck.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 5, 2008, 05:47 PM

No, you want to get married, there is no "NEED" to get married.
First if you have a legal guardian, they would have a court paper stating they are the guardian, if they have lost their copy, they should be able to get a copy from the court that issued the original order.

JudyKayTee · Jun 6, 2008, 04:28 AM

Originally Posted by Dorlexit

If I am 17 years of age and finish High School and decide to get married but my guardian does not have a way to prove I'm hers, what do I do? I am 8 Months pregnant and need to be married before conceiving the baby!

You already have conceived the baby - are you attempting to marry before the baby is born?

Your guardian can get copies of the legal papers from the Courthouse that issued them originally.

You will need your Birth Certificate to marry (if that is your choice) - do you have it?

talaniman · Jun 6, 2008, 05:13 AM

I am 8 Months pregnant and need to be married before conceiving the baby!

After 8 months what the hurry to get married?

ScottGem · Jun 6, 2008, 05:26 AM

Um at 8 months pregnant its too late to marry before conceiving. I assume you mean before giving birth. I have to question what the rush is also. In this day and age. There is no need to rush And a lot of good reasons NOT to rush. Just make sure the father is on the birth certificate and agrees to support the child.

JBeaucaire · Jun 6, 2008, 08:17 AM

Pregnant at 17, now in a rush to get married... you are a frantic one, aren't you!

Relax, get married if you want. You don't need anyone's approval to have a ceremony. When you turn 18, go down to City Hall and swear it again before the judge and he'll issue a marriage license. No one needs to be involved on that day except your witness.

Celebrate your wedding on any day you want. The legalese is just paperwork.

donf · Jun 6, 2008, 02:56 PM

Not to belittle your situation, but the real time to worry about that was prior to you getting pregnant.

Do yourself a favor, don't force yourself into a marriage just because you are pregnant. The pressure of a getting married at 17 plus having a baby may be too much.

Please have the child first, be a mother and then worry about getting married.

I wish you and the baby the best of health and happiness.

Dorlexit · Jun 6, 2008, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by HarajukuGirl

If you really want to get married, travel to a diffrent state where the marriage age is lower.

"There are some states that you can get married as long as you have parental permission. If you are under the age of 18 and have a child you can get married without parental permission in these two states that I know of.. Florida and Georgia"
(I dont know if thats correct, you would have to do some research on this)

Why do you NEED to get married? What diffrence would it make if you are married or not when the baby is born? The important thing is for the baby to have a good loving caring mother and father.

If you can't manage to get married, then wait a bit until your old enough, a signed paper and a ring doesn't mean alot, its the love and care you and your significant other have for each other.

Best of luck.

The reason I was in a hurry is because I was raised in a christian family and I realize I was wrong for getting realize and I want to do what's right! My guardian tells me that she contacted the CPS and they have lost all my documents proving I exist. I ran away from home and decided to marry a man with a big age deferents but I really love him from my heart. We've been together for 8 months! I

justcurious55 · Jun 6, 2008, 11:59 PM

Honestally, I think the age gap can at least potentially if not definitely cause some problems. I would imagine that you are at completely different stages in your lives. He's more than twice your age. He's had way more experiences than you. He's finished with school, has a career, etc. you're practically still beginning your life. You're going to finish school, start a career, etc. at the time that he's probably beginning to seriously look towards retiement in the not so far future. But hey, if your both happy, that's what counts. Hopefully you can both make it work. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.

JBeaucaire · Jun 7, 2008, 12:28 AM

The age difference does matter. It will come up time and again. But so what? You've fast-tracked this relationship in every way so it really doesn't matter what your issues are, does it?

Baby on the way, time to make an honest man out of him regardless of the age differences. On the good side, he is pretty predictable at his age. What you see if probably exactly what you get.

You'll need a thick skin, though, people will talk. Ignore them.

Make that baby a home. It's a 20 year commitment minimum.

ScottGem · Jun 7, 2008, 04:51 AM

This is going to sound a bit harsh, but you are being hypocritical. Being raised in a Christian family didn't stop you from having sex out of marriage. It didn't stop you from dishonoring your parents by running away. So you think it will make it all better if you get married prior to giving birth? Sorry it doesn't work that way.

I'm bothered by your statement that you are marrying someone with a big age difference. Is this the father of your child? If so, you apparently had sex with him right after you started the relationship. Since you are now 17, its possible that sex was illegal. And that may be why he's staying, to avoid stautory rape charges.

I urge you not to rush into marriage with this man. Have the baby, see how well he treats you and the child, then after you are 18 you can get married.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 7, 2008, 05:53 AM

Yes, have the baby, become a mother, at this point there is no need to rush into a marriage. It sounds more like your guardian is trying to stop you from a possible additional mistake

Fr_Chuck · Jun 7, 2008, 06:14 AM

At 50 many men go though some mid life issue, and if you are in the US, in some states he can go to jail for rape even because of your age.
My opinion is he is a child preditor who will soon tire of you as you get and look older or he tires of having sex with you.

And if I am wrong at the best, when you are 30 he will be in his 60's, when you are 40 he will be in his 70's so you will expect to live with him with limited or no sex in your latter years, and to expect for him to die long before you are old and you will be living on your own.

donf · Jun 7, 2008, 06:59 AM

Dorlexit,

God is going to love you and your child whether you are married or not.

Please, I encourage you not to run into a marriage that you have not prepared for. You have enough incredible tasks in front of you now. Take care of yourself and the baby.

If you are meant to marry the father (I'm assuming it's the father you want to marry), let him earn the right to marry you and be a father to his child.

By the way, how old is the father?

Fr_Chuck · Jun 7, 2008, 07:37 AM

Posts merged to give full story better

JudyKayTee · Jun 7, 2008, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This is going to sound a bit harsh, but you are being hypocritical. Being raised in a Christian family didn't stop you from having sex out of marriage. It didn't stop you from dishonoring your parents by running away. So you think it will make it all better if you get married prior to giving birth? Sorry it doesn't work that way.

I'm bothered by your statement that you are marrying someone with a big age difference. Is this the father of your child? If so, you apparently had sex with him right after you started the relationship. Since you are now 17, its possible that sex was illegal. And that may be why he's staying, to avoid stautory rape charges.

I urge you not to rush into marriage with this man. Have the baby, see how well he treats you and the child, then after you are 18 you can get married.

You spell and ramble on about your "relationship" like you are in elementary school and he sounds like a predator. You aren't sure what the difference between conception and childbirth is! Sounds like he is marrying someone young and uneducated and you are marrying older who sleeps with children.

At least if you marry him maybe you can get some spousal support and child support - if he pays - if/when the relationship breaks up.

Once again I am amazed that 2 people in a dangerous world - people are dying out there! - don't use birth control, particularly because it looks like you knew him about 15 minutes (give or take) before you got "pregnate," as you put it.

Dorlexit · Jun 7, 2008, 05:43 PM

Hey judykayTee! I understand that you know nothing about christians because where there is sin there is repent, you act as if you know it all! If gays can walk around like what their doing is right then so can I! At least I'm a women and he's a man, besides what where doing and have done is Most of post deleted for lanaguage and content

Minors phone number deleted for her protection again, Minor will be banned if she posts it again

Fr_Chuck · Jun 7, 2008, 05:50 PM

First no, don't use being a Chrsitian as a reason to make a terrrible mistake,

And just because others can make mistakes and are proud of those mistakes don't give you a reson to, so please excuses for your actoins in attacking Judy make no sense either.

1. not legal, running away from home, you could be declared a delinquent and put in foster care or detention if your parents or guardian were doing their job properly.

And in many states, a girl your age is not legal having sex with a old man.
So don't try talking legal to Judy one of our leading legal eagles on this site either.

And of course he is jeopordizing his repertation being with you, any other grown man is looking at him as a pervert, a child molester,

And yes you have came a long way, all down hill.

It is time for you to start looking at life as it really is, not what you want it to be like.

But now is not the time to further it by getting married, wait till the child is here and you are starting into real life and reality.

JudyKayTee · Jun 7, 2008, 05:58 PM

My first reaction to your posting was a flash of anger - and then I looked closer.

You cannot express yourself; you can neither spell nor use proper English. You are a filthy mouthed, run away, pregnant out of wedlock 17 year old.

You have posted your telephone number on a public message board as well as this entire story and a photo of the alleged father of your child. If anyone is endangering his career, it's you - and the photo is complete with identifying background info.

Take a look at how the adults on the board express themselves and see if you learn anything.

I'm surprised your Guardian isn't RACING to the Courthouse to emancipate you in order to get out from under the legal responsibility for whatever you do next.