[TwinkletOes26]

Im sure you guys have already read my rant about my stepdad but this time my mama asked me to type a question on her behalf so here goes: My stepdad lost his job two months ago and has yet to find another one. He says he goes to different places to apply for a job but he either gets turned down or no one responds at all. We (my mama and I) know for a fact he has only gone out to look for a job 3 times in the past two months and he starts looking when the dept of labor gets on to him and tells him he better look for a job or he will stop recieving unemployment. When he isnt looking for a job (which is every darn day) he just lazies around annoying me and my mama. She has yelled at him to help more around the house since he isnt working so he has no excuse. He did for about 2 wks and then went right back to lazing around the house. I just graduated from college and ive already filled out several applications and plan on sending in my resume to the online job fair on the 20th of this month if i can do all this to find a job why can't he? He could get a job at the post office but he claims he doesnt want to work there because "people lose their minds working at the post office."
Today me and my mama made HIS bed for him because he refused to do it himself when my mom asked him to(claiming he was too tired ...from what is beyond my comprehension). When hes not being lazy hes driving me and my mom bonkers. He comments about things that have nothing to do with him what so ever. He hates the idea of living in the "city" but I do not i am more than happy to leave and move far away from our small minded little town. Everytime I talk about getting a job in an urban area (ill be talking to my mother not him) he feels the need to harp and go into a speech about how i may not make it to the city and i may not like it. I tell him i might and i might not but its my life and where i choose to live is none of his business. Then he starts in on who i choose to be friends with. Theres this one kids whom im friends with nothing more and he hates him for no reason other than the poor kids dead father did something to him while he was alive. I tell him that I nor my friend can help what his DEAD daddy did to him(he has never specified the horrid deed). He also has the nerve to comment on who i choose or not choose to date claiming he could find me a better mate than i could. By this he means someone like him no thank you id rather be alone than with someone like him. Then when im not around he bothers my mom she'll be on the phone with a friend and he'll just start jumping in the conversation. She has talked to him about this but he still does it. Hes so rude one time my mama and her friend were talking in the grocery store and he just started talking over my moms friend. It was not so bad when he worked bc he was away for most of the day but now that he is here all the darn time hes driving everyone in the house batty.
So heres my question : Does anyone know how we (my mama and I ) can deal with him while he is here? my mom wants to know how she can get him to see he should be helping out around the house since he doesnt have a job and hasnt seriously looked for one? Does anyone know of any kinds of jobs he could get with 30 yrs job expierence working in factories and a hs education? answers would really be appreciated

[twinkiedooter]

You sound like a nice young person, but please learn how to use paragraphs in your posts as it make it much more readable.

Your step father is obviously depressed at not working. He's basically going through denial at this point. Was he laid off his job or fired? If he is collecting unemployment he probably was laid off. Right now he essentially doesn't have to look for a job (in his mind that is) as he is receiving unemployment benefits. Once that runs out does he say he has a game plan on how to contribute money towards the family? Probably not.

I guess your mom works but you didn't say this. You can start actively looking for your own job now. You don't have to wait for the 20th either. Job hunting is a full time every day job and those who don't actively look for work every day are essentially not interested in finding a job.

Right now I really don't see any quick fix for the step dad running out and wanting to get a job.
'
I am not aware if you know it but inactivity both mental and physical can make you tired, very tired. It's a very nasty circle. Try the opposite attack on him. Try telling him he's wonderful and an employer would be glad to have him working for them as he's so experienced at what he does. Maybe you two have just "beaten" him down a tad with the nagging stuff. No man likes to be nagged regardless of who he is.

[TwinkletOes26]

Sorry twinkie I'm use to other forums who have a rule on how long you can make your question so I was trying to save space I fixed it is that better?

[TwinkletOes26]

Quote : I guess your mom works but you didn't say this. You can start actively looking for your own job now. You don't have to wait for the 20th either. Job hunting is a full time every day job and those who don't actively look for work every day are essentially not interested in finding a job.

My mom is retired. I have I've been filling out applications left and right its kind of hard for me everyday because I don't have a car so I have to work around my mamas schedule. This online job fair to me just is another job hunting tool. Ive even suggested to him that we go job huntng together he refuses saying that me and him can't lok in the same places because I have a degree and he doesn't. Ive given up on him my mom is the main reason I posted this question. Hes not my husband so there's nothing I can do. If it were me I would tell him to shape up or shove off but that's me I have low tolerance for men who act like him (I had a boyfriend once who was just like my stepdad yea we broke up after 2 weeks lol)