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chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 01:18 AM

Someone has asked told me that they won't to have sex with me but I am 14 what do I say to him:confused:

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 01:31 AM

No. You're too young to be having sex. Don't even do it because you might be pressured to. It's okay just to say "No." If he persists in trying to get you to, then it's means that he doesn't really respect you or what you want. How old is he, by the way? It would be helpful to know that.

Thanks!

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

No. You're too young to be having sex. Don't even do it because you might be pressured to. It's okay just to say "No." If he persists in trying to get you to, then it's means that he doesn't really respect you or what you want. How old is he, by the way? it would be helpful to know that.

Thanks!

Thank you he is 14 but he is my boyfriend

Moose1123 · Jun 6, 2008, 01:34 AM

Why are you freaked out? You are too young to have sex. I know kids are doing it younger and younger, yet that does not make it right. I am not going to tell you wait till marriage or you are a sinner. Nope.. Yet, I have known some young teens who became parents and missed out on a lot of things the teen years have to offer. If you are freaked out... Maybe that is your answer. You should never do anything you are not comfortable with. If the person can not accept that then move on. Part of growing up is not having sex, but rather being able to make the right decisions in life.

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 01:37 AM

Originally Posted by Moose1123

Why are you freaked out? You are too young to have sex. I know kids are doing it younger and younger, yet that does not make it right. I am not going to tell you wait till marriage or you are a sinner. Nope.. Yet, i have known some young teens who became parents and missed out on a lot of things the teen years have to offer. If you are freaked out... Maybe that is your answer. You should never do anything you are not comfortable with. If the person can not accept that then move on. Part of growing up is not having sex, but rather being able to make the right decisions in life.

Thank you I do want to have sex but not till I'm 16 and on the pill

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 01:39 AM

The first wedding that I ever played for was when I was 14. The groom was 15 and the bride was 16. Their marriage lasted a couple of years. It's best to be concentrating on who you are right now and what you would truly like to be doing the rest of your life concerning your abilities and wants so that you can realize your own worth as a person.

I do agree with the answer by Moose1123, by the way. Nice to see someone else coming on to offer positive, proactive support according to the situation!

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 01:44 AM

Thanky you for your support I am grateful for your support.

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 01:56 AM

Young people feel so pressured these days to get involved in things that they really aren't ready for. What the crowd or "in" group thinks, is not necessarily the best thing to do.

A big part of life is about making choices. A lot of those choices that are made will have consequences that will affect a person for the rest of their lives.

By the way, that wedding I played for? She was pregnant...

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 02:14 AM

Thanks I'm am going to tell my boyfriend that I will in time but not just now I'm still to young and so is he

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 02:18 AM

I am 14 and my boyfirend is 14 coming 15. His brother told me that he wanted to have sex with me, what do I do. I am thinking of saying I will but not until I am on the pill and am over the age of 16.

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 02:24 AM

Originally posted by: chelocs14

Thanks I'm am going to tell my boyfriend that I will in time but not just now I'm still to young and so is he

Yes, you both are too young. Thank you for saying that. But, I wouldn't even give him the idea that "maybe" it might happen sometime for right now. At your age, people can switch boyfriends and girlfriends in a flash.

Wouldn't you want to save yourself for someone who was just the right person, after you have finished dealing with your efforts to realize your own potential and the person that you want to be? I think that person would really appreciate that you had done that. Also, after you truly know that you and your partner can be responsible for anything that might happen because of you becoming so intimate with each other?

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 02:27 AM

Thank you I will bare that it mind for the future thank you. One other thing is that I think he is the right person for me

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 02:38 AM

You are 14. The real right person might not come along for a number of years. He may seem like the right person now, but how do you know how things will be in six months or a year? He has his own exploring to do with life for his own sake as well as choices to make.

Do you realize that your needs and wants are going to change a lot over the next say, seven years? You're not even through high school yet. You have many things yet to discover about life, both for yourself and those with whom you might associate with.

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 02:40 AM

I agree with you thank you for your support

Curlyben · Jun 6, 2008, 02:50 AM

For the avoidance of doubt the legal age in the UK is 16

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 02:51 AM

Okay. Thanks! I do support you and want what is best for you!

All of us do have the urges and desires to be with someone else. It's the way that we are made to be! Sometimes the timing for doing certain things can really be a question. I would like to ask a few others to also respond to your original post in order to help solidify things here some for the advice that you have been given. The unfortunate thing for now, is that most of them are asleep! It's 4:50 A.M. in the morning where I am. But, I am a night owl.

Mine has been one opinion. There are others on this site who are women who can also give you excellent advice and insight that will go beyond that which I have given. Mine has been from the perspective of a man who is also a dad who has lots of experience dealing with youth. I think that you would also enjoy reading what the others have to say.

Would that be okay if I call in some others in order to further help clarify your thoughts on this matter?

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 02:54 AM

Originally Posted by Curlyben

For the avoidance of doubt the legal age in the UK is 16

Thanks, Curlyben! I figured that you were watching this scenario. I didn't know about the legal age in the U.K.

Clough · Jun 6, 2008, 03:09 AM

Okay. I can see that you are offline now. I am going to call some others onto this thread. I think that you would really benefit by hearing what they have to say also.

I wish only the best for you!

chelocs14 · Jun 6, 2008, 05:02 AM

Thanks

ScottGem · Jun 6, 2008, 06:16 AM

You have gotten great feedback from people here, but I'm afraid we are not completely getting through to you.

First, let me say I do not believe this is the boy for you. In fact I think you should be looking to get out of this relationship quickly. Let me explain why. Anyone that has his BROTHER tell his girlfriend he wants to have sex with her is really immature. Such a person is definitely not ready for a sexual relationship and probably not even a romantic one.

Second, you should not be putting a timetable on this. I would not tell ANY boyfriend that you intend to become sexually active when you are 16 and on the pill. You simply tell them you feel you are not ready to be sexually active. I've said before that NO ONE should have sexual intercourse until they are ready to have a child. No method of birth control is 100%!