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sully123 · Jun 4, 2008, 04:22 PM

I went out with this gentlemen a week ago for dinner. We met last year, saw each other here and there always just small talk, but I guess we both kind of liked each other. To make a long story short, we had a nice timeand did go to dinner, being the first time going out, we seemed to really hit it off. When he dropped me off that evening he said we would have to do it again. Me not knowing if he had text messaging thanked him for a nice evening, and he wrote back right away, he had fun too. A few days later I texted him and he text back just small talk, what he was up to at work, that was the end of last week. I haven't heard a word since do I panic and just wait, since its only been a week, or should I feel something is wrong?

liz28 · Jun 4, 2008, 05:19 PM

If you real want to know then give him a call not text message. If he don't answer then leave a message and if he don't response then sorry to say this but he not interested. At least you tried and there nothing wrong with that because you never know he could have been busy.

Sonador101 · Jun 4, 2008, 05:24 PM

Just give him a call and say "we had a great time, lets try it agin"

talaniman · Jun 4, 2008, 05:36 PM

Stay busy with your own life, and take him at his word, he had a good time. You did nothing wrong, but the expectations of more interest, is not realistic so, deal with it if it comes. This is what casual dating is about. No strings and low expectations
.
He may be busy with work, family, and friends so his interest is anyone's guess and not a goos subject for speculation and assumptions.

You could call, and see if he is free for dinner, show whatever. But if schedules conflict, they just conflict.

The last thing you need is to focus too much attention on a casual acquaintance, and make it a bigger deal than it is.

JBeaucaire · Jun 4, 2008, 08:47 PM

No more texts. Call him and invite him to a specific thing on a specific day. Wish him well, hang up.

Romefalls19 · Jun 5, 2008, 05:15 AM

Give him a call and see if he would like to go check out a movie coming out or something that will prompt an answer. If he declines, well then you know your answer.

igman · Jun 5, 2008, 11:55 AM

I agree. Call him.

sully123 · Jun 8, 2008, 09:05 AM

Some of you are familiar, went out with a gentlemen once, thought he was just so sweet and kind. Thanked him the next day, for a nice evening and dinner. I thought he was different from the rest of the men out there. We did hit it off nicely. He had been interested me in for awhile now but didn't know. Two weeks ago we went out, it was the first time. I texted him a couple of days ago, to see how everything was. He answered right away he was doing a function, which I knew about he had mentioned it to me before. But I know its casual dating as they say today to some people. I thought he would have called by now, and asked me out a second time. Or is two weeks not long at all, or should now I just count that he doesn't care? Just wondering is that the way men operate now, when they feel like calling?

sokay · Jun 8, 2008, 09:22 AM

Sorry to say it but to me it doesn't sound like he's that interested. You might want to move on. If a person likes someone they would make time for them. Don't tell me he couldn't get away from his busy life for 15 minutes to have a decent conversation with you in all this time. Yes it may be he's busy, but he could have at least called by now to quickly explain that he's busy but would like to spend more time with you as soon as this busy-ness is over. The only thing he may down the road wake up and realize that he does want to pursue this. I think you've done more than enough, you contacted him, thanked him, said you had a nice time, etc. and he was too busy to talk to you.

The ball's in his court. In other words go on with your life, it's up to him if he wants to get things going. And you may have changed you mind by then.

chuff · Jun 8, 2008, 11:49 AM

Sully, I think you are coming off a little to pushy. What I mean is you went out and then you seemed to hang on waiting for him. Texting him during a function is not going to be something he's thrilled about... especially when he told you in advance that is what he was doing. It sounds like he might not have been interested or was on the fence but you may have pushed too much to soon. I would back off and try to focus on something else for awhile, but don't have any expectations on this situation.

sully123 · Jun 8, 2008, 12:14 PM

Thanks Chuff, for the reply, but I didn't text him during a function. I texted him at work that day, asking how everything was with him. Just as a friend, I would never think of pushing myself on someone. What I didn't understand, he was the one who pursued me, and asked me out, and told me how much he liked me and enjoyed himelf. That's why I found it odd not too hear from him. I know he is busy and has a lot going on. I was just trying to keep the friendship open. I won't do anymore, I am not like that..

chuff · Jun 8, 2008, 12:34 PM

Yeah, I read the OP to read that you text him during the function, sorry about that. But I can tell you I have pursued women and then gone out just once and realized I wasn't interested or they just came on so quick that it surprised me since they hadn't been interested before. I can't say for sure in your case but that might have been it. It also may have been, the feeling that once he got the date the chase was over.

liz28 · Jun 8, 2008, 12:39 PM

Not to give you false hope but I went out with a guy a while ago and we hit it off great. We went out that Saturday and the date did end until Sunday. Neither one of us plan this. I knew a head of time his schedule because he works 3 jobs, I know sounds weird. He has no kids but working hard to archieve his goals and saving his money. I meet him through a friend and she told me everything about him and his busy work schedule intefer with his personal life. He was a gentleman because he never bothe me for sex when I slept over at his house and he slept on sofa and gave me the bed.

After the date he called me and told me what a good time he had and wished to do it again, I said fine Conversation was cut short because he was at work. We never got back in touch until almost 2 weeks later he called because he had death in his family but I knew this from my friend and her husband, her husband always took me that he was very interested. We hang out mor whenever he was free and sometimes he took time off to spend time together and every time was a blast.

The theory is you never know what a person is going through, sometimes people are truly busy. I at times meet guys and was going call but I never got around to it and when I do its too late in the night. After time I'm say forget it he probualry won't remember me and throw the number in the trash. If your that concern call, not text, one mor time. If he don't call back then simpy move on, there's mor guys waiting to meet someone nice.Sorry so long!

sokay · Jun 8, 2008, 01:12 PM

Chuff: "Sully, I think you are coming off a little to pushy. What I mean is you went out and then you seemed to hang on waiting for him. Texting him during a function is not going to be something he's thrilled about...especially when he told you in advance that is what he was doing. It sounds like he might not have been interested or was on the fence but you may have pushed to much to soon. I would back off and try to focus on something else for awhile, but don't have any expectations on this situation."

Chuff, it sounded like she just texted him once, this doesn't exactly seem like overly-keen behavior to me. And by texting, she probably thought would be a less intrusive than calling, so that he could get back at his convenience. I mean how else was she supposed to know what was up?

To be honest I think there is a bit of a double standard on this issue. Not accusing you personally of discriminating because I don't know you, but in general I'm just wondering... If the genders had been reversed... Would you have felt the same?

chuff · Jun 8, 2008, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by sokay

Chuff: "Sully, I think you are coming off a little to pushy. What I mean is you went out and then you seemed to hang on waiting for him. Texting him during a function is not going to be something he's thrilled about...especially when he told you in advance that is what he was doing. It sounds like he might not have been interested or was on the fence but you may have pushed to much to soon. I would back off and try to focus on something else for awhile, but don't have any expectations on this situation."

Chuff, it sounded like she just texted him once, this doesn't exactly seem like overly-keen behavior to me. And by texting, she probably thought would be a less intrusive than calling, so that he could get back at his convenience. I mean how else was she supposed to know what was up? .

I'll answer that with this from my second post.

Originally Posted by chuff

Yeah, I read the OP to read that you text him during the function, sorry about that. .

Originally Posted by sokay

To be honest I think there is a bit of a double standard on this issue. Not accusing you personally of discriminating because I don't know you, but in general I'm just wondering...If the genders had been reversed...Would you have felt the same?

Yes, I would have felt the same, and I'm sorry to have to admit I've probably been that guy that was didn't "see it" or wanted it more then she did so I sort of became to forward, to soon, or she just wasn't interested after the first get together. This isn't a bad thing, I'm not attacking her for it, some people just have an initial interest and after spending time with that person it just doesn't materalize into anything further.

sokay · Jun 8, 2008, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

Yes, I would have felt the same, and I'm sorry to have to admit I've probably been that guy that was didn't "see it" or wanted it more then she did so I sort of became to forward, to soon, or she just wasn't interested after the first get together. This isn't a bad thing, I'm not attacking her for it, some people just have an initial interest and after spending time with that person it just doesn't materalize into anything further.

I hear you, I've been there too, had the guy more interested than I was, but it wasn't his interest that turned me away, it was just that I wasn't interested.

The main thing I don't want the OP to believe that she's somehow 'done something wrong' or 'driven him away', by simply contacting him. I think if you've gone on a date with someone you have every right to make contact once or twice, if it's at an inconvenient time they can always get back to you in a timely manner. It's just basic civility. Seems healthy thing to do to me. Now it would be different if she were driving past his kids school or boiling bunnies on his stove, but that hardly seems to be the case here:)

sully123 · Jun 16, 2008, 02:12 PM

I went out on date a few weeks ago, a dinner date with a gentlemen. We hit it off and liked each other.. The last few weeks we texted here and there. I should say I did inititate the text's but he always replied right away. Well this past weekend he asked me if me and this mutual friend or set us up would like to meet and get a bite to eat the following day. No he isn't after her and she isn't interested in him, she is happily married. Well I texted him back this text came on his own asking to meet us and eat and have a drink. I told him she couldn't make it, she was working, do you still want to go, and guess what no reply since Saturday. Was it up with this? He pursued me this time? I know I won't call or text him ever again, but why?

JBeaucaire · Jun 16, 2008, 03:32 PM

His phone is broken. Send an email or use your voice to talk to him. Texts are so unreliable.

losingit77 · Jun 16, 2008, 03:37 PM

Yeah, I really hate all this "texting", its so impersonal and I swear I don't trust that they don't get lost sometimes. Why don't you call him? Just once. If nothing, then just give up. Its just one guy. There are plenty more out there who will be chasing you down and calling you... not the other way around.

sully123 · Jun 16, 2008, 03:42 PM

I am sure he got my text message just like I got his. There is no excuse not to answer me, and if he wanted to be with me and asked me out, then why did he not answer me. I am sorry I don't buy the phone bit, I feel something is up. I just think it shows me disrespect and it really hurt my feelings. I don't think at this point I should even chase him after this, its for him to get in touch with me, right?