[DR Ruth-less]

I get the feeling there's something that my GF is holding back with (does not want to talk about) I really am worried as she just got promoted and is under some pressure I'm sure. Over and above that she told me that she thought she may be pregnant. She took a test yesterday that showed negative apparently. How do I get her to open up to me and just trust me with her emmotions. We have been seeing each other for just over a year to put the time thing in perspective!

[starlite1]

Hi Dr. Ruth-less,

I would ask her if anything is on her mind. If she says, 'No, why", then you can say 'because you seem to be under stress lately, i'm sure partly because of your job, etc, but is there anything else?" Kind of ease into it a little, showing her support, and that you care, that is why you are asking.

[cfloveu]

My friend. I would suggest you to be patient. And do not assume things.
The best way to make her open her hidden feelings is, make her feel your deep love. Love is complete when it is best expressed. Sit with her and make her understand how important She and her Love is in your life. Make her feel that your life is worth nothing without her.

[Romefalls19]

I agree with starlite, ask her casually if anything is troubling her. Communication is the foundation of any good relationship.

[damaged]

I agree as well... Ask her if anything is bothering her and let her know that you love & care for her and you are there whenever she needs you... when she feels comfortable she'll open up to you...

[DR Ruth-less]

Thanks all for your advice but she ended the relationship 2 days ago.
Life goes on... and Damaged your post script could not be more appropriate in a time like this... Thank you all.

[starlite1]

Hi Dr Ruth-Less,

I am so, so sorry. What happened?

[DR Ruth-less]

I was on my way to her place I told her I would be leaving now. An hour lsater she called and I had not left yet. What I was doing is imeterial. What I can say is I was late because I was doing something for her. This happened at around 6 in the evening and in an earlier discussion she told me it didn't matter if I got there at 8 (20H00). She got upset and cancelled the evening, her argument is that I told her in our last conversation that I was leaving right away and did not bother to let her know I was running late. She also said that any girl would be upset. To wich I replied I understand that but not any girl would have losther cool and gone off the wall like she did... in hind sight I deserve better treatment.

As much as I still love her she is seriously high maintanance.

[starlite1]

Yes, unfortunately it seems so. But, I can't help but think that perhaps there was something else on her mind, perhaps. Okay, you were running late, that is not a big deal, but for her to end it with you, because of that?

[liz28]

She seems to had been selfish, but was she always that way? Sometimes when your in love with someone you lose yourself and tried to make them happy while your not. Maybe that's what happen her and people who are high maintenance only cares about themselves and wha other people can do for them.

[DR Ruth-less]

Ithink there were times when she did things for my sake... (I wonder sometimes because these things were normally brought up in an argument, like she wanted me to feel guilty or she needed justification or acknowledgement... who knows) I always try to back down in these cases and give her approval, mostley to avoid an escalation in the fight. One thing I can say is thatwhen it comes to her son she is completely selfless which I admired and adored... any hoo byegones, I hope she has a better future than I could have given her. As much as she can be a total she had many great qualities too. Anyway was just wanting to say thanks to those who did advise although it never came to pass.

Again tx to all

[DR Ruth-less]

Hey they omitted "as much as she can be a total 81TCH she had many great qualities too.

[DR Ruth-less]

Sorry but I hate being eddited... these are my feelings for me to express the way I like to!!

[ISneezeFunny]

Let's be honest. She didn't end it because you were late.

The signs were all there. Closed up a little bit. Distancing. Under a lot of stress. Those were all signs most of us saw right before the breakup.

The you being late part... was just the excuse she needed.

Hope it works out bud. Keep your head up.

[JBeaucaire]

the you being late part...was just the excuse she needed

That's my read, too. She just wanted to make the breakup his fault even though she'd already decided. Childish, but commonplace. Don't fret it.

[liz28]

Does she usually have agreements with you and ends the relationship and then a few days later wants to get back together? Is this behavior normal?

[DR Ruth-less]

It did go very much like that... I got booted then when she needed comfort or a shag I suppose I was called and then she had me hang around till she has an excuse to let me go again. Maybe she didn't want to seem shallow or for me to realise how needy/dependant she really is... look I'm not complaining I enjoy spendidng time with her and ill do it again... Althoigh I long ago resigned myself to the fact that this is not the one!

[JBeaucaire]

look im not complaining i enjoy spending time with her and I'll do it again... Although I long ago resigned myself to the fact that this is not the one!

Hey, well, at least you DO have a plan. Use her, let her use you, until someday you find yourself with someone else.
(bangs head on desk)

[DR Ruth-less]

Hey, well, at least you DO have a plan. Use her, let her use you, until someday you find yourself with someone else.
(bangs head on desk)

I sense a hint of sarcasm there... need a band aid for your head? :)

[starlite1]

i sense a hint of sarcasm there... need a band aid for your head? :)

LOL! You two (JB and Dr. ) are too funny!