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glamuzina · Jun 2, 2008, 06:53 AM

I have a friend who has Physical Custody of his daughter's ( 3 ) and has had for about 10 years. Even though the courts have said the mom has custody, he can prove that the kids have been with him through school records and such. The mom lives in a different county. He is getting letters from the State of California that he has to pay $100,000.00 in back child support. He does not want to have to take the X back to court because she is the type that only wants to have the kids if she can collect money for them. She is actually re married and has a new family with a couple more kids from someone else now. Can he contact the courts and have these fees taken off without going for the cusdody hearing? Is there such a thing as Physical custody and if he can prove physical custody have the fees taken away?

ScottGem · Jun 2, 2008, 06:57 AM

Yes there is such a thing as Physical custody. And your friend has been ABSOLUTELY foolish by going 10 years without addressing this issue. When the courts awarded custody to the mother and for him to pay child support, then ANY change in that court order HAD to be made through the courts. He now faces an up hill battle through the courts to get this straightened out. He needs to RUN out and get a good Family Law attorney to help him.

thepurpose · Jun 5, 2008, 05:56 AM

Originally Posted by glamuzina

I have a friend who has Physical Custody of his daughter's ( 3 ) and has had for about 10 years. Even though the courts have said the mom has custody, he can prove that the kids have been with him through school records and such. The mom lives in a different county. He is getting letters from the State of California that he has to pay $100,000.00 in back child support. He does not want to have to take the X back to court because she is the type that only wants to have the kids if she can collect money for them. She is actually re married and has a new family with a couple more kids from someone else now. Can he contact the courts and have these fees taken off without going for the cusdody hearing? Is there such a thing as Physical custody and if he can prove physical custody have the fees taken away??

If I only read one word in your post it would say your friend is screwed. That word is California. If your friend had to pay 100K and it took him five years to pay off at the current interest, he would pay double. 200 G's baby!

I would like to believe there are decent people in the world left. But reading this one re-instills my lack of hope for the next few generations. These laws are like playing 3-D chess; at every angle you can be attacked and be in a position which you cannot move. It gives one side the maximum punitive power and the other ex-special someone, the weight of the world.
I ask myself on a frequent, if there were no such thing as interest and financial gain concerning children how many eager custodians would bare the brunt of raising a child alone?
To say our kids are truly loved would be like saying I drove my car up a telephone pole today. True love whether kids, spouse, or whatever means innocent of agendas, giving your true self in safe keeping of another person. It means I want the best only for you, not what I can get from you and the mental/emotional or physical benefits from being with you. Nor does it mean I'll be there until I feel better about myself , nor until the benefits of having YOU around runs out.
I hope the best for your friend!! PEACE!!

ScottGem · Jun 5, 2008, 06:12 AM

Please do not start a new thread with the same question. Any followups should be posted to this thread.

You might want to turn on e-mail notifications so when someone adds a reply to your question, you will get an e-mail with a link to the reply.

samsabin · Jun 5, 2008, 04:41 PM

Your Friend is Screwed he needs to go back to court and file for child support that will help pay back some of the money he owes the court is not going to care that he has had the children they are going to say he should have filed for for a reduction now your ex has a weapon against you she can file to have you thrown in jail for non payment

Fr_Chuck · Jun 5, 2008, 04:54 PM

He needs an attorney NOW, He actually has nothing to stop her from coming and taking the child, she is the legal custody of the child.

OK, he needs to file for legal custody, and he may well have to pay all of the past child support. He should have went 10 years ago for it.
I will give you my story, my ex left me the kids and ran off, it took me almost a year to get into court to get the custody changed and after that I still had to pay for that year of child support even though I had the child, and could not get into court since she would not show up.

You need a good attorney, the best you can get.