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Ultra Member
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Jun 1, 2008, 10:45 PM
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My darling Grandchimps
Do you think that humans and chimps are this closely related? I do. I don't want them living on my block though. I mean, have you ever had a fight with a chimp? Hey, I have and I'm here to tell you, that was the toughest SOB I ever tangled with! Plus, I wouldn't want my daughter dating one. Although, I'm sure they would have really cute babies. You know, that would really take the heat off gay marriages.
Court Claim: Chimps Are People, Too | LiveScience
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Jun 1, 2008, 10:52 PM
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Chimps. Aren't those the little short guys? And did you hear about Spam? It's becoming a hot food item--inexpensive and goes with all sorts of things.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 12:08 AM
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Yes but, can you teach a chimp to eat Spam? I think so. You just have to trick him. With Spamnana Pudding topped with Nilla Wafers.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 02:59 AM
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I wouldn't want my daughter dating one. Although, I'm sure they would have really cute babies. You know, that would really take the heat off gay marriages.
Once you have changed the definition of marriage once then anything is possible.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 08:04 AM
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 Originally Posted by tomder55
Once you have changed the definition of marriage once then anything is possible.
Exactly.
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Uber Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 08:48 AM
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Hello:
Yup, give a gay guy his rights, and next thing is dogs'll be wanting 'em.
I guess you don't know how stupid that sounds... If you did, you wouldn't be saying such stuff. But, you don't. Thank goodness, I'm here to set you straight!!
excon
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 09:50 AM
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Fa·ce·tious / fəˈsēshəs/
• adj. treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor.
DERIVATIVES:
Fa·ce·tious·ly adv.
Fa·ce·tious·ness n.
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Uber Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 10:00 AM
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If they change the definition of marriage to include chimps and gays then my marriage means nothing! No, don't ask me how I logically came to that conclusion - I have faith this will happen.
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Uber Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 10:01 AM
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 Originally Posted by tomder55
so I'd say practitioners of beastiality have a leg up.
Well? What are you waiting for?
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 10:11 AM
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A leg up? No, No, No. Wear the big rubber irrigation boots and put their legs down in them.
Hey, I'm a country boy at heart.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 10:56 AM
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This has the makings of a number of farm jokes I've heard .
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 10:56 AM
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This has the makings of a number of farm jokes I've heard .
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Uber Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 11:01 AM
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 Originally Posted by tomder55
this has the makings of a number of farm jokes I've heard .
I think that's how most of us feel about this news article. :)
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 12:46 PM
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Why doesn't the organization just buy the chimp, instead of fighting this out in court? If I remember correctly, Koko was bought by her handler. If the sanctuary who owns this chimp now is nearly bankrupt, they'll sell in an instant.
Of course, we all know why; if they win this court case they get to argue that ALL animals are people and deserve human rights... it's a political move. I'm in a pessimistic mood today.. I'll go so far to say they don't give a poop-flinging bit about this chimp, only about the possible future political implications.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 2, 2008, 04:18 PM
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This traveling salesman broke down and asked to sleep in the barn...
"That wasn't my daughter" the farmer said, that was the chimp!
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Full Member
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Jun 4, 2008, 03:13 PM
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I don't often agree with Jill, but this time I think she is right.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 4, 2008, 03:28 PM
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I remember reading about this "person" last year. Your mention of fighting a chimp reminds me of one of Eastwood's less than stellar films, Every Which Way But Loose. I sure wouldn't have wanted to tangle with Clyde the orangutan.
Not exactly a farm joke but...
A woman goes to her local pharmacy to buy some hair remover.
The clerk says to her, "be careful if you go in the sun because this can cause chemical reactions and burn your skin."
The woman says, "Oh I'm not using this on my legs."
So then he says, "Well if you use this under your arms you need to let the hair grow out for a few days."
Once again the woman says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
So the clerk looking very confused asks, "Where are you going to remove hair with this?"
The woman smiles at him and says, "My Schnauzer."
The clerk rings up her purchase and after thanking her whispers, "I wouldn't ride a bike for a few days then."
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Ultra Member
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Jun 5, 2008, 05:45 AM
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 Originally Posted by Galveston1
I don't often agree with Jill, but this time I think she is right.
Um... Thanks?
:)
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