[need_help33]

Hi all,

I went through a very bad situation recently, where my girlfriend betrayed me after being with me for a year and saying all the time that she loves me. She wrote me tons and tons of emails saying the same, but few months ago, she started talking to another guy about a relationship and she didn't tell me about this. When I came to know about this, I was all mad and heart-broken and then she stopped talking to me after that.. I wanted to know from her why she did this to me, and why she didn't tell me if things weren't working about between us.. Why she kept me in dark and started going out with someone else.. I had so many questions, but she wasn't willing to meet or pick up her phone. But I keep bumping onto her as we have common friends. But I never ask her anything in front of our common friends, but we do not talk at all so our friends do know that something has happened between us.. Now about 4 weeks ago, I called her like 8-9 times on her cell on one particular day and left a few voice messages that I just want to talk to her.. I wanted to ask her why she did this to me.. But she didn't pick up the phone, and on next day she sent me an email on my work id that if I do not stop following her or calling her, she will take legal actions against me. I was really shocked by reading this email, as I couldn't believe that she could do something like this.. But on that same day, her current boyfriend called one of our common friend as he to happens to know that friend, and he told him that this is the last warning and they have already consulted a lawyer and have all the proofs that this can be a case of stalking and I can go to jail if they take action. The common friend spoke to me about this, and advised not to contact her anymore, and I told him that I will not..

But I couldn't just forget what she did to me, and really needed answer as to why she kept me in dark, and what was her purpose of keeping me in side and saying that she loves me, even when she already started going out with someone else.. So I just sent her boyfriend an email saying that I want to meet both of them just once and ask them a few things.. I did not email her directly as I thought that she might take that email as a proof that I am stalking her and take action against me. But her boyfriend replied to me saying that they do not want to meet me.. Now last week, I came to know from our common friend that they are actually planning to take action legal action against me, and he also told me that they might use some wrong ways and forge emails using my name and send it to her and then try to prove that I am still following her and stalking her.. I am really confused on this situation, and am not sure if this can be used as a point against me. I mean, if they create an email id using my name and send her an email, and then they go to a lawyer/court, can this be considered a proof that I am harassing her or stalking her. If this can be done, then should I also consult a lawyer just to be safe, as I do not want police to come to my house and arrest me even for a min, as this will spoil my reputation among friends and also ruin my career.

I really need some advice on this, as I have to decide on whether to go to a lawyer or not. Also, I still have kept all the emails that she wrote to me, also the one's she sent on my work id, as in case if they take any action against me, I can at-least show those emails saying that how that girl betrayed me..

Thanks in advance for the help..

[Trigger76]

Write everything down that hashappened. If you can't remember it all in order write down as you recall incidents. You don't NEED a lawyer until she takes action, that is, files some kind of complaint, but you should know who you are going to call if she does file. Also, figure out what to do if she sends the cops to talk to you. The cops may think it' a big nothing, but if you say something crazy to them, or get an attitude with them, they may testify against you, or basically consider you guilty. They can't convict you themselves, The girl is not required to be civil to you and I did know a guy who had a stay-away (restraining) order put on him by a crazy girl who accused him of going after her after she dumped himwith no explanation. He had done nothing and committed no crime but didn't fight the charge in court. STUPID!!

[mooviequeen13]

This is true. You may not a lawyer yet but know whom you would contact just in case. They could be using the lawyer threat to scare you from further contact. If she was seeing this guy behind your back chances are he knew... And trust me she was. He is probably on "her side" because she told him stuff like she hadn't left you yet because she was "afraid" of what you'd. This justified her seeing you both. You justified it to him by repeatedly calling her and made her story real. I have seen this happen a lot. I mean A LOT.:eek: She was no good for you in the first place, so why does it matter why she did this. If you think about it you will see the signs. Write everything out. From beginning to the end of your relationship and you will notice. In order to do this though you have to be honest with yourself. This is coming from a woman who spent most of her life around women like this. Trust what I say and move on.

[need_help33]

Hi Trigger76 and mooviequeen13,

Thanks a lot for your replies. If I consult a lawyer, should I approach a criminal lawyer? I have never ever been to a lawyer, and so am not sure which one to go to.. Also, do these lawyers charge heavy fees just to consult?

As I mentioned earlier, I have not contacted that girl for over a month now, and I mean no contact by any means (no phone calls, no emails).. but I did send an email to her current boyfriend recently as I mentioned, so even if they do not try to forge email using my name, can they still take a legal action against me based on the email that I sent to her boyfriend?

This girl herself is trying to create bad impression of me amongst our common friends, as most of our common friends keep asking her what happened between you guys, and she just tells them that I am getting engaged to another girl by ditching her, so something else. I am tired to telling my friends the truth, and no longer want to do that.. I definitely am not able to forget her, and more importantly, not able to forget what she did to me using the name of love.. but I hope that GOD gives me strength to get out of this situation soon..

[twinkiedooter]

Just keep ignoring her and don't expect any kind of an answer as to why she ditched you. It's over and done. Let the new boyfriend have her. Please do not send anyone anymore emails asking why as they won't be answered. Let her have her fantasies as to why you supposedly ditched her. If your friends know you, they will know the truth and see through her.

[DGarcia879]

I was in a similar situation you're in, and it still haunts me.