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star2000 · May 25, 2008, 04:08 PM

I met a guy in a pub about six months ago, and we hit it off really well. I wasn't interested at first but he chased me for a while, so I gave in and we went out, I didn't sleep with him for a while and then the one night I did and a couple of times after that, he made me feel very special and I felt very attracted to him and we seemed to click really well.

After a short period he went very cold towards me, I said could we see each other again and his reply was that he was still trying to get over his ex girlfriend although he was the one that finished with her although he did say that he didn't know what he wanted after he had done that. After I asked him how he felt about me, he said he found me very attractive and that he did like me but needed some time alone. I phoned him afterwards a few times and he was always friendly whilst we chatted and cracked a few jokes etc. I asked him when we would see each other but he just said he has a few problems at the moment and would get back to me and then id ring him again and then he would say, I do like you but with you keep phoning me, your pushing me away.

So I asked would he rather I leave him alone but he'd say he did'nt mind me doing so and he would be in touch. I wish he would just tell me to stop bothering him then I would leave him alone but he has'nt done so. When we were together, the chemistry felt very intense and cannot understand how it has got like this.
He has'nt contacted me since which is approx 3 weeks now.

Would be grateful of any opinions on this one.

confused1145 · May 25, 2008, 09:32 PM

Give him some time. Stop calling him, let him be the one to call you. If he does call keep your eyes on him to make sure that he's not just using you as a rebound until him and his ex work things out.

talaniman · May 26, 2008, 07:20 AM

I said could we see each other again and his reply was that he was still trying to get over his ex girlfriend

This was your first clue that his feeling were different than yours. He had a need to fill.

I do like you but with you keep phoning me, your pushing me away.

This was you second clue that he had needs and not necessarily of the relationship kind. You should have been backing away at this point.

When we were together, the chemistry felt very intense and cannot understand how it has got like this.

That's your take on it, and you obviously thought he felt the same way, he didn't

He hasn't contacted me since which is approx 3 weeks now.

Actions speak louder than words and just be aware, busy or whatever, he should have called, if he cared.
Time to back away and get some reality. You were more emotionally attached than he was, and when he got what he wanted he disappeared. You must do the same pretty much the same, and I'm sorry for your loss, as I think you deserve better.

star2000 · May 26, 2008, 01:23 PM

Thank you very much for your advise!

I can see now that this is what I thought all along deep down, and will deffinately put this down to experience!

I feel very stupid that I put myself in a vulnerable situastion, and I hate the fact that I allowed myself to be used in this way! I KNEW REALLY DEEP DOWN THAT I COULD DO A LOT BETTER!

Your advice is excellent and I have now woken up and will not allow this to ever happen again!