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gemima047 · May 25, 2008, 11:41 AM

I'm a single mum of an 16 year old daughter and 18 year od son. My ex husband doesn't see out daughter much these days as she chooses not to visit him as she used too.

My son is away at Uni and I find myself needing a social life more than ever now.

My question is is it OK to leave my daughter on her own for a few days so that I can have a break on a rambling holiday with a group I've joined.

I leave on some Saturdays as she doesn't want to come with me, choosing to be with her friends instead or on her own.

Both my son and daughter are responsible teenagers and very capable of looking after them self.

I have 2 concerns:

My ex. Husband possibly would want our daughter to go to his while I'm away, which she doesn't want to do. She says not to tell him but if he found out I fear his reaction. I said that I should tell him but also tell him that she wished to stay at home; again we both fear his reaction.

There is also my concern that if a problem arises I won't be here to deal with it. In that respect it would be better that she goes to her dads.

I'd really like to go but feel that it's not the right thing.

I'd like others opinions and perhaps any ideas that would be appropriate

Sonador101 · May 25, 2008, 12:42 PM

Well if she's resonsible, I see no problem leaving her alone if its only a few days. As for the fathers worring you, don't tell him if he does find out tell your duaghter if he calls to go to a friends house and then call you. But girl you deserve to get out and live your life, you made sacrifices and now you deserv to slpurge you shouldn't fell like it's the wrong thing to do, just do what you think is safe/

talaniman · May 25, 2008, 01:02 PM

Tell the dad and have him watch over his daughter for a few days. Mature she may be but having dad supervise will take loads off your mind and his too! Sorry 16 year olds don't make policy at my house.

JBeaucaire · May 25, 2008, 01:23 PM

You can't control the universe. You can only plan well for the contingencies, covering all the important bases.

If dad is a less than desirable chaperone, use another. But a responsible ADULT (25+) must be left in charge and responsible for looking over your 16 year old. 16 year olds can be trusted to babysit for a couple of hours, they cannot be trusted for DAYS. They haven't the experience, and the universe is a crazy tempting place. Get a chaperone in place.

If no other chaperone is available, then dad it is. If DAD isn't available, no trip.

talaniman · May 25, 2008, 03:38 PM

Sonador101 disagrees: she said she didn't want DAD! (though i am only 13 )

So what? Since when did a 16 year old start telling parents what to do? It's the daughter who wants to stay home with her freedom, and that wouldn't happen in my house, so can you explain this reddie or not.

My ex. Husband possibly would want our daughter to go to his while I'm away, which she doesn't want to do.