[confused1145]

My boyfriend decided that things were moving too fast in our relationship so he said that he needs a little time and wants to be just friends. I recently got tired of waiting around on someone that I may never have so I moved on with my life. After about a week into my new relationship I find out that I'm pregnant so I call and tell my ex. The next day at work he tells me that he doesn't think that it is a good idea that I am dating someone else while I am pregnant. I was thinking that this was some type of hint that he wanted me back so I broke up with the guy, but my ex said that he still does not know what he wants. I asked him if we were ever going to have a chance and he said that if he didn't see a future with us he wouldn't be sending me text messages and calling everyday.The other day he told me that we will always be more than just friends due to the baby. What's that suppose to mean? He had a bad relationship before me and says he got scared.I am so confused a need help. Can someone please give me some advice? I'm scared that I will be left all alone.

[talaniman]

we will always be more than just friends due to the baby. What's that suppose to mean?

It means while he acknowledges the child you will have together, he won't be your b/f or husband. So you won't be alone, but you won't have what you want, a romantic relationship, and at this point, I hope he can be a support to you during your pregnancy.

[starbuck8]

I don't think you should have gotten into another relationship so quickly to begin with, but on the other hand, you don't wait around for someone who isn't ready to commit to you. The new relationship was only a week into it when you found out you were pregnant. That is a very short period.

It sounds to me from what you wrote that you weren't with your baby's father for very long either. I think you need to take time in between relationships to actually get to know yourself. You need to love and be secure with yourself, before any man will give you the same love and respect in return.

However, now you are pregnant! Your ex boyfriend should not have the option of telling you who you can and cannot see, if and until he mans up, and accepts his responsibilities! He took part in your pregnancy. He doesn't deserve the luxury of time to figure out his feelings right now.

Neither of you obviously practiced proper birth control, so it is up to the both of you to figure out how you are going to handle this. If he was any kind of a man, he would step up and take control of what the two of you started, for the sake of your baby.

I would just tell him that this is his responsibility, as well as yours, and although you aren't going to sit and wait for him for an extended period to make up his mind , you are going to give him a "set period" (maybe a month) of time to think things through, and then you want an answer. Don't do it in a threatening manner. Tell him you will stop seeing the other guy in that time, and do it!

If after that he decides he doesn't want to be with you, stay away from the other guy also for another month at least, and then slowly get to know each other, before you get yourself into another situation you don't want to be in. A healthy and loving relationship takes A lot of time, and WORK, for it to be a happy one. You don't wan't you child to grow up in an unstable environment, like so many children do these days.

[JBeaucaire]

You should stay true to yourself. Being b/f and g/f required mutual consent, so that's not going to happen right now. But that doesn't mean you have to go running into a corner either. Keep on being that fun, awesome, self-confidant girl that he enjoys being around so much.

Don't be quite so "available" all the time, get involved in your own life, even consider a few innocent dates with other boys. But meanwhile keep your friendship with him on solid footing.

Who knows what might happen in a few months. You might end up together again or you might find yourself with different guy, but a better situation.

Whichever happens, it sounds like you would be a winner.