[kashumz]

I'm 13 and I think I have anger issues. :mad: My friend says I'm bipolar but my dad says I'm not. Today and yesterday I just feel so weird. I have this really weird feeling in my throat and chest like I'm holding back tears but I'm not sad. I've also just been so MAD at EVERYTHING. Yesterday I got mad because my gerbils keep eating their houses and I really need to go buy a wooden one form a pet store but my dad says I love my gerbils too much and they don't need anything. Then I tried to open up a life water, I was eating tacos with way too much taco sauce and I really needed a drink but I couldn't open it and my dad wouldn't open it for me so I literally threw it back in the fridge, slammed the fridge door and got a soda instead. I was yelling at my mom for trying to talk to me while I had music on, and today I feel like I have SO MUCH anger inside me I think I Just RUINED my friendship with my really annoying british friend. She's kind of behind and I'm in advanced classes so she hardly ever understands what I'm saying. She doesn't know how to start a conversation or keep one going so that makes me
mad because she thinks she's so funny by saying random things but it just annoys me because I want a REAL conversation and I tell her but she just says "well I think it's funny." I told her I needed a new gerbil cage. She said o_o; and I got mad and told her to "rott in hell you worthless piece of crap" because she didn't ask me why I needed a new cage. She said shed sound stupid. So I told her that was only because she is stupid. And I really don't feel bad at all. So now I feel bad for not feeling bad but I don't really feel bad for what I said to estelle. Just for not feeling bad. That's really confusing but my basic question is: where is all this random anger coming from? I feel like a terrible person! :(

[Turasleon]

I'm 13 and I think I have anger issues. :mad: My friend says i'm bipolar but my dad says im not. Today and yesterday I just feel so weird. I have this really weird feeling in my throat and chest like i'm holding back tears but i'm not sad. I've also just been so MAD at EVERYTHING. Yesterday I got mad because my gerbils keep eating their houses and I really need to go buy a wooden one form a pet store but my dad says I love my gerbils too much and they don't need anything. Then I tried to open up a life water, I was eating tacos with way too much taco sauce and I really needed a drink but I couldn't open it and my dad wouldn't open it for me so I literally threw it back in the fridge, slammed the fridge door and got a soda instead. I was yelling at my mom for trying to talk to me while I had music on, and today I feel like I have SO MUCH anger inside me I think I Just RUINED my friendship with my really annoying british friend. She's kinda behind and i'm in advanced classes so she hardly ever understands what i'm saying. she doesn't know how to start a conversation or keep one going so that makes me
mad because she thinks she's so funny by saying random things but it just annoys me because I want a REAL convo and I tell her but she just says "well I think it's funny." I told her I needed a new gerbil cage. she said o_o; and I got mad and told her to "rott in hell you worthless piece of crap" because she didn't ask me why i needed a new cage. she said shed sound stupid. so i told her that was only because she is stupid. and I really dont feel bad at all. so now i feel bad for not feeling bad but i dont really feel bad for what I said to estelle. just for not feeling bad. thats really confusing but my basic question is: where is all this random anger coming from? I feel like a terrible person! :(

It seems to me that there is a lot of anger, but where is it coming from? Do you have a good relationship with your parents, is there a lot of stress in your life? Stress can really destroy a person, I can tell you that much.

[kashumz]

I have a horrible relationship with my parents. My mom is depressed, has OCD, and doesn't care about anyone, and my dad has MS, and yells at everyone for everything they do or don't do, and then wants everyone to feel sorry for him.

[Turasleon]

Considering your age, and the fact that you're in more advanced classes, I'd like to say that you're trying to mature, trying to find yourself (seemingly earlier than some people around you) but it is stifled because your friends are immature and not trying to move forward, and your parents, I assume, keep kicking you down (I know what it's like to try to deal with someone with OCD... it verges on the edge of impossible).

Honestly, you may want to try to establish your own independence, at least emotionally, and make sure you get yourself on the right track: make and keep good friends, make sure you get good grades, get a job relatively early in life, and keep maturing. Don't take your anger out on your friends just because they aren't maturing as fast as you are: they'll hopefully come around in time.

As for your anger, as I said before, it's probably from stress. You come home, and your parents emotionally (and possibly verbally) assault you. You go to school, and not only do you have to deal with advanced classes but your friends are less mature than you are.

Just try to look at things in a different light... your parents may really be yelling at you to try to help you get ahead, to try to put you on the right path, but not really know how to go about it (my father did the same thing). The only thing I can really say is to try to put up with them until you can finally get out of your house.

Things will improve with time, I promise.

[Choux]

Sounds like you are overwhelmed with resentments against "the world" and you don't have the skills to deal with matters too advanced for your age.

Do your parents act negatively to everything you say--- like wanting a new house for your gerbil? That alone is enough to make you enraged. Having negative parents is very distressing.

I think it is good that you are not internalizing the anger and blaming yourself. However, you seem to be at your wit's end which is not good at all. All those new hormones coursing through your veins are adding to your instability!

I think that you need a therapist to sound off to. A therapist who can direct you toward more constructive ways of handling your problems.

Best wishes to you!

[danielnoahsmommy]

That feeling in your chest sounds like anxiety. I have read all your other posts, you have a lot going on. May I recommend that you talk to your school counselor. It might make you feel better.

[kashumz]

Turaselon- The problem isn't having immature friends. I really don't have any friends, and my dad blames it on me. He says I must be a b**** to everyone and that's why they don't want to
Be around me, but the truth is I'm incredibally quiet and painfully shy. I never talk to any of these people that hate me, so it's not fair he blames me. My british friend I don't even know in real life, she's just my good online friend.

Choux- I wouldn't say EVERYTHING. But I would say a little too much. If I ask to watch TV, I don't get a no. I get screamed at. We always keep the TV off because we're trying to keep the electric bill down, but still my dad knows what my favorite TV shows are and he knows that I'm going to want to watch them. That's why I love weekends. I can stay up and watch TV! Until my mom comes upstairs and makes herself at home and makes me turn to the discovery health channel and watch blood and gore in the ER when I'd rather be watching lifetime. My parent's don't believe me either. They think I'm failing and that I'll have to repeat the 8th grade when I've told them plenty of times that I'm not. No, I'm not an A or B student but I'm not going to fail. I even talked to ym counseler.

Danielnoahsmommy- Thank you. I do have a lot going on. I have talked to my counseler but it never helped. My dad smokes and it doesn't smell very nice. I'd go to school with that smell and get made fun of and I tried to go to the counseler for help and she just told me to shower more. She's very nice, but she didn't help. I went all the time in 6th grade, a little bit in 7th grade and this year I went once and gave up.

[danielnoahsmommy]

To remove the smell on you cloths, before you enter school rub a fabric softner sheet on your cloths and place it in your pocket. It should remove that smoke scent

[kashumz]

That's a good idea..

[J_9]

Oh, Kash, hun... I am sorry you are having to go through all of this. I have nothing to add to what has been said, but I want you to know that I would love to have you as my own if I could.

You are a very bright and inquisitive kid. Just know that a lot of this has to do with your hormones, you are young and growing. I know it's no help really, but time changes all things. Focus and develop what you are good at, improve yourself, you will be better in the long run. Oh, and how are those chicken pox? LOL