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xolilxomissyox1 · May 24, 2008, 07:43 AM

I have a problem lying and I'm trying to stop but my boyfriend doesn't see it. He keeps trying to set me up and trying to catch me in lies. And he thinks I have cheated on him even thought I haven't. How can I prove to him that I haven't cheated and that I'm not going to lie to him anymore and win him back??

JBeaucaire · May 24, 2008, 08:42 AM

Ask him to prove he's never killed someone. Demand actual proof of his innocence.

Ask him to PROVE he doesn't secretly hate librarians. Demand actual proof.

You can't prove a negative.

You know you have a problem. If your b/f isn't helping you with it, he's making it worse.

Give him one shot at understanding this. "I know i have a problem with lying and I actually WANT your help with it. But your attempts to 'trick me' and 'catch me' is not what I need, and it's not loving. If you don't stop, now, I will have no choice but to keep away from you. I need your help and love, and not your jealousy. It's sweet and all, but it's breaking us up and I hope that doesn't become our destiny."

If you love him, great. But if he makes your life worse, you can't date him. You know that.

Fr_Chuck · May 24, 2008, 09:07 AM

You seem to admit that you have lied in the past, so now it is a matter of trust, and if he has lost that trust and it appears he has broken up with you, since you said to win him back, So at this point he is an ex, not a boyfriend.

If he has been hurt too much, been lied to too many times, sometimes you can't ever win them back, And you have to move on.

Why did you lie before, what sort of things have you lied to him about ?
But if he is not willing to give you another chance, there is no way to make it or force it. Oten we have to live with the result of prior actions.

talaniman · May 24, 2008, 03:36 PM

Until you have stopped lying long enough for him to believe you, he will always have trust issues. You surely don't think he will take your word for anything do you? This relationship has been poisoned, and will take a long time to heal, if it can. Make sure your doing what's needed to not lie.

xolilxomissyox1 · May 24, 2008, 08:46 PM

So this is horrible... my boyfriend and I get back together and break up on a daily bases and today he says he will be with me again if I just tell him if I've hooked up with anyone else and at first I denied it because I havent but he didn't believe me... so I made up this elaborate story saying I did because I want to be with him sooooooooo bad... and now he doesn't want to be with me.. so I told him I made it up and he doesn't believe that either... I don't know what to do or what to say or why I am that stupid to do something like that... im trying to get help for my problems and he just doesn't see that I am trying and I'm so lost and confused and don't know what to do...

JBeaucaire · May 24, 2008, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

If you love him, great. But if he makes your life worse, you can't date him. You know that.

The oppposite is also true. If you love him, great. But if you make his life worse, he can't date you. I bet you know that, too.

You may need to spend some time in the friend zone with this guy and practice being a good friend before you can try the g/f thing again. Learn to walk before you try running again.