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    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #21

    May 23, 2008, 01:30 PM
    Remember,
    Friends first
    Then marriage,
    Then sex.
    Moving in together turns thing up side down. Not a good idea. Besides your post does not say much about loving her, just dating for 6 months. Probably a better idea would be to take another break and decide how much you really want this girl in your life and for how long.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #22

    May 23, 2008, 01:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 450donn
    Remember,
    Friends first
    then marriage,
    then sex.
    Moving in together turns thing up side down. Not a good idea. Besides your post does not say much about loving her, just dating for 6 months. Probably a better idea would be to take another break and decide how much you really want this girl in your life and for how long.
    Not everyone agrees with this. Sex before is marriage is fine if within your beliefs. That's not the applicable situation here.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #23

    May 23, 2008, 01:35 PM
    I don't think 6 months is long enough to move in together. I am not saying wait until you are married but wait at least a year or two. Personally I think people should live together before they get married. What if you get married and find out the person is a living nightmare to live with then you are stuck.
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #24

    May 23, 2008, 02:24 PM
    MOVING IT?? As if that was going to solve your problems.. Just decline, besides after 6 months she wants a break, and then come back out of the blue wanting to move in and having you meet the parents.. I don't think so.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #25

    May 23, 2008, 02:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jolienoire
    MOVING IT??? As if that was going to solve your problems.. Just decline, besides after 6 months she wants a break, and then come back out of the blue wanting to move in and having you meet the parents.. I don't think so.
    That's what I was saying... seems fishy to me..
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #26

    May 23, 2008, 02:57 PM
    The poster is only asking about moving in and not about sex before marriage. We must resist our "speechifying" tendencies, eh people? I'm a big speecher, too, so trust me, I know how easy it is to go into "lecture mode" about stuff we weren't asked.

    Anyway. What to do? Well, if you don't mind living a life like a puppet on a string, just keep taking your lead from her and doing what she wants. That will only work if you really love her and have no need for say-so of your own.

    Is that how you are? You don't have any actual opinions about the right and wrong way to do things? You're OK with her dropping in and out on her whims and you just do as your told?

    If not, but you still want her back, stop taking instructions from her. Start giving some of your own:

    "If the pause is over, that is fine. But you will keep your home and I will keep mine. My independence is very important and I know you will respect me for it. I learned that during our 'pause', so thanks for that. And we can start seeing each other again, but I've decided we will take things nice and slow, no pressure and no more silly business. I'm sure you agree, yes?"

    Take some control here, no need to be mean, just no need to be a doormat, either.
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #27

    May 23, 2008, 03:38 PM
    Very good advice, AS USUSAL, from JBeaucaire!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #28

    May 23, 2008, 05:51 PM
    You didn't care about a pause in the relationship, and I really can't see why your even considering moving in with her, or meeting her parents. You never even said you missed her. I don't think you two fit together, or even care about each other, so stay where you are.
    vickieodongoz's Avatar
    vickieodongoz Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    Jun 12, 2008, 05:51 AM
    Is she serious I meet her parents
    Hi greetings.I have been dating this girl for like six months now and I love her so much.thre months ago she wanted us to pause our relationship.I didn't want to pause but I surgested that we should end it.she didn't want to end it either and also decided not to pasue.she say the reason for her wanting to pause was to think things out.after two months we became serious and she even pay for me my hotel and trip to go meet her parents.I had great time with her parents and they like me a lot .I spend two days at there home.now this girl is ready to move in with me.and she say she is in love with me.she never have loved someone like the way she loved me.also she say am the only boy friend her parents liked. Is this girl for real?can I let her mve in?will she nevr want to pause again. she want to meet my family also.what can I do.
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #30

    Jun 12, 2008, 05:55 AM
    What can you do?

    Go with it!

    If you love her just as much as she loved you then you would make it work. Love is like that. Are you ready to make such a commitment?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #31

    Jun 12, 2008, 06:13 AM
    She is moving to fast for you, and has it in her head to jump to the next level, and your not ready. Resolve this conflict by being honest about how you feel, and listening to her concerns. That takes some honest communications between you, and a willingness to work together. Now is not the time to just go with the flow, as boundaries need to be established, by you both. Communicate, and express your concerns.
    vickieodongoz's Avatar
    vickieodongoz Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #32

    Jun 14, 2008, 10:55 AM
    Same issue on this girl
    Greetings. What if she tells me she loves me so much and she is ready to settle with me.she say she has travel and seen all she wanted and now she has move in another serious step of her life.she say she was sorry for the pause thing.and she say she is truly in love with me.should I let her move in because I love her so much and she did asked me to forgive her.I have meet all of her friends and parents.is she for real can I take a risk and try things with her out.
    applegate4ever's Avatar
    applegate4ever Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #33

    Jun 14, 2008, 11:01 AM
    I think you should take a chance you will never no what will happen if you don't try.. I did the same thing with my husbent and now were married
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #34

    Jun 15, 2008, 11:36 AM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2880284

    After what you have been through, 6 months is not enough time to resolve your issues nor know each other well enough to know where this should be going. Slow down and have some fun getting to know each other and build the trust needed for living together, without the pressure of being to close to fast. What's the hurry.

    You both have to know for sure your willing to work together, and not just be together.
    vickieodongoz's Avatar
    vickieodongoz Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #35

    Jul 4, 2008, 08:47 AM
    What's her motive is it love or phisical
    Well,I moved in with this girl and its now one week.since she move in when ever am from work I find her with her friends who are gilrs watching movie in my house.she has two months off before she start work and when she start work in September she will be going away from home every hree weeks.since she been here she has been so into sex and close to me.she don't want me to go out to be with her indoors.does she love me.she say she love me and want to us to have wedding one day.she talks of her giving me half of her salary for me to invest for our future.whats her intention.is she after this two month.can I keep on or should I go on with my life and pretend as if she doesn't exist.I love her though.pliz help.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #36

    Jul 4, 2008, 09:05 AM
    You may as well enjoy it, because from your previous posts it will never last. You both may think this is love, but I really don't. Sorry, but I have read your whole story, and don't see that everlasting love as you do, and I only think she is in it as a convenient, fun thing to do, and can use sex to keep you guessing, but doing nothing except what she wants. Sorry guy, I think your gut is telling you something you need to hear.
    vickieodongoz's Avatar
    vickieodongoz Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #37

    Jul 14, 2008, 06:46 AM
    Is she for real in love.should I go on.
    Greetings.my girl moved in with me awhile ago.she has long term plan with me.she is even considering us having engaged in few days.in a nice island.she is paying all the coast.she buys all the rings.she trust me with her money after moving in with me for like for a month now.she want me to invest the money for our future.is she real in love.sometimes she makes me sad when she say something or when she react in a negative way and after she say she never wanted to make me sad it happened and she really feel sorry.can I trus this girl and go on with her.what is she up to.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #38

    Jul 14, 2008, 07:39 AM
    ?? She is paying for the ring and all cost BUT she wants you to pay for your future and everything else?

    Not sure the situation here BUT
    Sounds to me like her thinkin' is
    I invest a couple thousand and in return I end up with a house, all the furnishings, a car, vacations and whatever I want. The couple thousand a small investment to my return.

    If that is the case and you still want to go through with it I think you better do some planning ahead for yourself as well. Like suggest a pre-nuptial agreement and see how she takes it. Or put some money somewhere that she has no way to get to it.
    Protect yourself somehow. I think you better be sure before cause she could find a way around anything you try.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #39

    Jul 14, 2008, 07:53 AM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2974133


    If this is the same female, I would think twice.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #40

    Jul 14, 2008, 07:54 AM
    Agree with Tal, money doesn't mean the best relationship or trusting person.

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