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bejadan · May 21, 2008, 03:52 PM

My wife was murdered in our home. I was on my way to work when the intruder infiltrated my home. My daughter was a witness to the whole ordeal and later that evening while being questioned by the police stated I did it. She did not mention me earlier in the day, she told my sister a big man came in and hurt mommy. It wasn't until the police interogated her did she make this statement. My childeren were than taken into foster care for almost 3 months. During that time she made several statements that I didn't hurt mommy and that a bad man did it. She was returned to the maternal grandparents by my request as I was considered a person of interest in the case and social services wouldn't turn the childeren over to me. Since she has been returned to the maternal grandparents she has indicated I was present when the intruder was there and since than according to her therapist I was the only person in the house and that I did this to my wife. I have been trying to get the judge to grant me supervised visitation, however social services and the GAL will not allow me to have supervised visits. Its apparent that my daughters therapist is dead set on not letting me see my daughter and my sons therapist will not allow me to see him as well. I have not had any contact with my children for over a year now and I'm concerned that the longer my daughter doesn't see me the more it is put into her head that I am responsible for this horrible incident even though it is not the truth. My parents were advised just before the holidays last year that they were not allowed to see them, even though the therapist only saw them a few times. According to the therapists testimony it was due to the information she received in regards to the children's behavior after the visists from the maternal grandparents. Is there anything I can do to push through what the therapist is saying in regards to visitation with my childeren through the courts?

MsMewiththat · May 21, 2008, 06:27 PM

What a completely horrible situation. I am sorry for your loss. I'm certain you have not found too many people to be sympathetic with you, know that I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have one question... can you think of any reason why she would say you did it? Did you and your wife fight in front of the children? To address your question, which I am not an authority or in no way in a position to answer your question, I would advise you to keep pushing, keep filing your requests. Go to your county and get some legal advice from them or hire an attorney, which I am sure you have one if you are in this situation. First and foremost PRAY! Stay the distance, keep persistent and pray. Pray and I mean every minute of every day, God Bless you in journey back to your children.

JudyKayTee · May 22, 2008, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by bejadan

my wife was murdered in our home. i was on my way to work when the intruder infiltrated my home. my daughter was a witness to the whole ordeal and later that evening while being questioned by the police stated i did it. she did not mention me earlier in the day, she told my sister a big man came in and hurt mommy. it wasnt until the police interogated her did she make this statement. my childeren were than taken into foster care for almost 3 months. during that time she made several statements that i didnt hurt mommy and that a bad man did it. she was returned to the maternal grandparents by my request as i was considered a person of interest in the case and social services wouldnt turn the childeren over to me. since she has been returned to the maternal grandparents she has indicated i was present when the intruder was there and since than according to her therapist i was the only person in the house and that i did this to my wife. i have been trying to get the judge to grant me supervised visitation, however social services and the GAL will not allow me to have supervised visits. its apparent that my daughters therapist is dead set on not letting me see my daughter and my sons therapist will not allow me to see him as well. i have not had any contact with my children for over a year now and im concerned that the longer my daughter doesnt see me the more it is put into her head that i am responsible for this horrible incident even though it is not the truth. my parents were advised just before the holidays last year that they were not allowed to see them, even though the therapist only saw them a few times. according to the therapists testimony it was due to the information she received in regards to the childrens behavior after the visists from the maternal grandparents. is there anything i can do to push through what the therapist is saying in regards to visitation with my childeren through the courts?

Have you gone back to Court and applied for vistitation? Also, how old are the children and has the murderer been caught/convicted and are you still a suspect?

excon · May 22, 2008, 07:17 AM

Hello J:

You're going to need a family lawyer...

It's been a year. Are you still just a person of interest or are you being charged?? If they haven't charged you in over a year, they don't have a case. If they don't have a case, then neither does the civil court or any of the CPS's or therapists or people who think you shouldn't have your kids.

But, WITHOUT a family lawyer, you may NEVER see your kids.

excon

MsMewiththat · May 22, 2008, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello J:

You're going to need a family lawyer......

It's been a year. Are you still just a person of interest or are you being charged???? If they haven't charged you in over a year, they don't have a case. If they don't have a case, then neither does the civil court or any of the CPS's or therapists or people who think you shouldn't have your kids.

But, WITHOUT a family lawyer, you may NEVER see your kids.

excon

I'm not an attorney, not claiming to be but the only thing I will add here is that although they may not have all the evidence they need YET, that doesn't mean they aren't working on a case. Also I would add that there is no statute of limitations on murder.

excon · May 22, 2008, 07:39 AM

Hello Ms:

I don't disagree with you... But, how long should he (and the grandparents) have to wait?? A year is a pretty long time in a child's life... The SOL notwithstanding, there IS a point in time when even you would agree that they should charge him, or give him back his kids. No?? That would be rather harsh...

excon

JudyKayTee · May 22, 2008, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by MsMewiththat

I'm not an attorney, not claiming to be but the only thing I will add here is that although they may not have all the evidence they need YET, that doesn't mean they aren't working on a case. Also I would add that there is no statute of limitations on murder.

I disagree - the Statute on murder has nothing to do with this case. He could be a suspect for the next 100 years. That should not cause his children to be deprived of a father - just because the Police aren't able to develop enough good info and evidence to charge anyone.

I think OP has to find a good Attorney - as excon said - and go back to Court and fight for his rights. Get supervised visitation if that's what it takes but he should see his children.

Convicted murderers in prison have the right to see their children if the children are brought to them.

Perhaps the Grandparents mis-spoke, defended the father, didn't defend the father, cross examined the children, who knows, but the CHILDREN are being punished here for the alleged sins of the Father and I see no fairness or justification.

As far as the children are concerned, I asked how old they are - my sister at about age 3 fell off her bike and broke her arm and INSISTED that my other sister pushed her. The second sister was in school at the time so who knows what kids are thinking or, in this case, what the little girl thinks she saw - or did see.

cdad · May 22, 2008, 01:26 PM

Another thing that your going to have to do is look at the laws governing what children's services can and can't do. So far as Im aware they can't take your kids away because another agency thinks your suspect. So like judy and excon are saying you need to go to court and fight for your rights. If children could be removed from homes on just suspicion then many many children would be displaced in this country. What does your current ( civil ) lawyer say about the progression of preceedings against you ? If your not being charged then you haven't committed a crime so by law they can't keep your children from you. And for the record children of young ages can easily be persuaded into saying things until they become truth just simply by the reaction of the person asking the question. Good Luck and let us know their ages and a little more on what's really going on.

MsMewiththat · May 23, 2008, 08:03 AM

I encourage you all to read my comments, I believe I was the first to comment. My comment was that I believe that he should continue to push and file his requests. I did not at any time state that he shouldn't be with his children, in fact wished him luck in his journey. I simply stated that there was no statute of limitation for murder to counter the comment of if they haven't charged you yet, they don't have a case. Simply as that. Stick to helping the OP.

MsMewiththat · May 23, 2008, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello Ms:

I don't disagree with you... But, how long should he (and the grandparents) have to wait???? A year is a pretty long time in a child's life... The SOL notwithstanding, there IS a point in time when even you would agree that they should charge him, or give him back his kids. No??? That would be rather harsh....

excon

... and I don't disagree with you. I wish him all of the best in being reunited with his children. Children can be persudaded and mislead. That was never my point. Simply that he will need to work hard to clear his name. Being with the children is somewhat a separate issue, one that I wish him well in.

bejadan · May 23, 2008, 09:38 AM

I do have a family lawyer he has stated that I should have a right to see my children but according to social services her perception of me is what is delaying me seeing my children, right now the court is siding with the therapist that is seeing my daughter. My childeren are 5 and 3. the oldest did witness my wife and I fight the night before. When I left that morning both children were asleep so I'm assuming she was awoken by the struggle, before police interrogated her she said a big man with black on his face hurt mommy. After the interrogation she is now saying I killed mommy. As a four year old (at the time she was 4) she didn't have the word killed in her vocabulary. That's what gives me the idea that she was influenced by the questioning which was presented to her that night.

JudyKayTee · May 23, 2008, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by bejadan

i do have a family lawyer he has stated that i should have a right to see my children but according to social services her perception of me is what is delaying me seeing my children, right now the court is siding with the therapist that is seeing my daughter. my childeren are 5 and 3. the oldest did witness my wife and i fight the night before. when i left that morning both children were asleep so im assuming she was awoken by the struggle, before police interrogated her she said a big man with black on his face hurt mommy. after the interrogation she is now saying i killed mommy. as a four year old (at the time she was 4) she didnt have the word killed in her vocabulary. thats what gives me the idea that she was influenced by the questioning which was presented to her that night.

Chilling that a 4 year old could say anything and things would revolve around that - as you said, what did she know - ?

No legal advice but this is truly a heart-breaking situation and I guess all you can do is keep fighting to see your kids.

Have they been interviewed by someone independent - of course, how many times can you put kids through that?

bejadan · May 23, 2008, 09:57 AM

No we haven't had an independent evaluation. I am going to talk to my lawyer about setting one up. As far as I know the therapist hasn't even asked if she would want to see me. I know that she (when my parents could see her) asked them where I was so she doesn't seem afraid of me. At least that's the idea I get from when she has seen my parents.

ScottGem · May 23, 2008, 10:07 AM

Your lawyer should be pressing for an independent consultation with a therapist.

cdad · May 23, 2008, 11:24 AM

Also be aware that any interogation should have been video taped and your lawyer should have access to it at this time or can request it. I advise that if such a tape exists you do not review it in any way. Only an outsider should like your lawyer or independent council.
A lot of what your getting tied up in is hearsay. You need to be very very careful with that. Try to keep your spirits up and keep fighting for your kids. Good Luck.