[tarnold66]

I had a situation this Sunday at the pool of the apartments where I live. We had just returned home and my son asked if his friends mother watched him for a moment could he go to the pool? I know this parent and I have, myself, watched her kids at the pool on occasions. I told him yes and that I would be there shortly. Before I could get down there, the Leasing agent (who was not on the clock but was at the pool drinking and swimming with her guests) told my son he could not be down there with out his parent. Once I arrived I noticed 4 other children in the pool with out their parents. I also felt very uncomfortable due to her (the leasing agents) guest looking at me and making comments. I have no proof that the comments were about me but they gave me the impression it was. I just want to know if this would be considered discrimination or harassment and if I should file a complaint?

[ScottGem]

How old is your son? How old were the other children. Did your son identify that the other mother was supposed to watch him and did she confirm it?

While you may not have been able to spot the parents of the other 4 children, its possible they all arrived at the pool under the supervision of one parent, so you can't use that as proof of discrimination. Its certainly possible they were commented that you allowed your son to come to the pool unsupervised. But that's neither harassment nor discrimination.

I assume there is a sign or rule sheet that says children under a certain age must be accompanied by a parent. So its hard to say this was anything else.

I would just let it drop until you can get proof that there was something to it.

[tarnold66]

Thank you ScottGem,
When I came to the pool I asked the mother if anything was said to her about watching my son. She said that the leasing agent told her... I took care of it. You don't have to watch him.
My son is 9 and yes I did look for the other parents. I know ALL of the mother's because our kids ALL play together and most of us parents have the kids over on the weekends at one of our apartments. It's a small group of boys. One of the boys that was down there was there with ME. She did not say anything to him about him needing his mother down there.
The mother that agreed to watch my son even noticed that nothing was said to the other 4 children that were there. Two of the kids showed up after I did, without parents.
The pool rules (the large sign at the pool) states that Children under the age 14 must be accompanied by a responsible adult. It does not say anything about being accompanied by your parent.
All the parents take turn watching the kids. We (parents) don't mind. But this Sunday, my son was singled out. Then I was treated rudely by her guests.

[ScottGem]

Let me see if I follow this.

Your son goes to the pool and is turned away. You didn't answer whether he said, something like "but Mrs Friend will be watching me. Did the leasing Agent approach Mrs Friend and say you won't have to watch him or did Mrs Friend approach the Leasing agent and say she would be responsible?

When you got to the pool where you let in with your son? You said you had another boy with you that wasn't questioned, but then he was entering the pool area with a responsible adult, something your son wasn't doing since Mrs Friend was already there? You don't say what your son did when turned away.

You said, two other kids showed up without their parents (but without an adult also)? And were let in. Did you bring that up to the leasing agent at the time?

The story as I see it so far is that your son tried to enter the pool are all alone and was turned away because he wasn't accompanied by an adult. So far, no problem. If he didn't identify Mrs Friend as the adult he was with or if she didn't identify herself that way, then I still don't see a problem. As soon as you got there, you were admitted with your son.

So the only problems I see were a) that Mrs Friend wasn't identifying as the responsible adult and b) if unaccompanied kids were allowed to enter afterwards.

There is also an undercurrent here that you are not dealing with. Why would you think that they would discriminate against you or son. Is there some history, ethnic background or other problems that might make you think they would discriminate against you?

By the way, how long have you lived there?