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    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    May 17, 2008, 07:22 PM
    Should a person settle for the next guy or gal?
    As we get older there aren't as many men as well as women. I am divorced 48, look great nice,easygoing just looking for a nice guy for longtime love. I feel I am not picky but I do have some standards or should I hope the next guy is it and just take him. I have met some creeps and I know there are things you stay away from, but do we just wait and hope for the right guy or gal.
    ihatewestseneca's Avatar
    ihatewestseneca Posts: 325, Reputation: 67
    Full Member
    		  
    #2

    May 17, 2008, 08:08 PM
    I don't think you should settle for anything less than what you want... there will be things you'll learn about anyone that you may not like, but if the good outweighs the bad it never hurts to give them a chance, who knows what feelings you may develop, or may not develop...

    I think you only have two choices when it comes to love, the first is taking the chance, and the second choice is purely based on your morals... if you find things you really dislike, boot them. Sometimes people change, sometimes they don't.

    So to answer your question, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince. Unless you're afraid to be alone... then you'll take anything that says they love you... but I hope you know better.
    bigbird213's Avatar
    bigbird213 Posts: 681, Reputation: 110
    Senior Member
    		  
    #3

    May 17, 2008, 10:14 PM
    I have often thought of the same or similar things. At times I wonder if the image I have of a perfect mate is too much to ask for. Whether what I would adore in someone is not worth waiting for as it will never come to be perfect.

    The way I feel is that if someone can meet some of the traits that I look for, maybe the rest will develop or maybe there will be traits you didn't expect which can make you look past what's missing... There is no reason to immediately judge fot possible marriage, just play it by ear and see how you feel then...
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
    		  
    #4

    May 17, 2008, 10:16 PM
    Do not settle. If you do, You will end up with a creep. That is what you do not want, right?
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
    		  
    #5

    May 18, 2008, 01:52 AM
    Nobody is perfect. And we all know that when looking for someone, we sometimes show only our 'good sides'. So it takes time to get to know someone and find out if there is room for growth.

    You have to choose what you can accept in a person and their potentional qualities. They have to fit you to make you happy. You'll never know though, if you don't give yourself a chance to look and have patience.

    Never settle for second-best just so that you are not alone - that would be unfair to him as well as yourself. Desperation is not a good basis for any relationship.

    Good luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #6

    May 18, 2008, 09:40 AM
    If you go hunting for that life partner all you will find is a lot of guys who will show their best to get with you. At a young 48, enjoy being single, and doing what you enjoy, and being happy with yourself, and the life you lead. You will attract someone who is happy with themselves, and their life, and will want to share it with you. Activities that allow you to meet persons like you with common interests are what you shoot for. Being happy with yourself will allow you to enjoy yourself and NOT settle for someone just to be with you. So have fun, and take that class, or learn to bowl.
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