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srulik86 · May 15, 2008, 04:32 AM

OK so I really pissed my girlfriend (most likley ex now) and she won't return any of my texts... and all week she has been acting a bit funny with me... so what do I do... coz I know now she is about to dump me, because she has done it twice before and I know what she does. She doesn't text all day... then just beofre she goes to bed she tells me... this isn't working anymore. And that's it. We go weeks of not talking then we start talking again and fall all in love again. Only difference this time is that I won't see her around college anymore because I'm finsihed. This is so hard, because I just know its coming. And to be honest its been coming ever since Saturday. What do I do? I don't want her to finsih with me but I know its going to happen.

imation · May 15, 2008, 05:03 AM

Could you maybe talk to her?
... Everything can be sorted out or clarified by communication.
Either try to explain yourself for whatever it is that you did, or give her the space she needs to think. Two simple options, but if you are so sure that she is going to end it, and it's happened before, how is it that you don't know what to do by now?

bigbird213 · May 15, 2008, 05:39 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2784868

You have gotten a lot of good information in your other posts. I suggest that you re-read the advice that people have given you.

If you know it is going to end, don't wait around for it to happen, take actions into your own hands and walk away...

Romefalls19 · May 15, 2008, 06:06 AM

Bigbird, I'd love to give you a greenie but sadly must spread the rep around. I agree with you though, he needs to take action into his hands. Only a fool would wait around for someone to end it.

Also, if you guys keep breaking up and going back out, that's not love, that seems like comfort. Love is sticking it out when things get tough, not hitting the road at the first sign of a speed bump. Love isn't a fairytale, sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll scream no one said caring was easy(Atreyu) So maybe it's best to just hold your head up high and walk away from this very indecisive female.

talaniman · May 15, 2008, 06:19 AM

If you know it is going to end, don't wait around for it to happen, take actions into your own hands and walk away...

Disappear from her life, and get your own that you enjoy and end this BS once and for all.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2784940

srulik86 · May 15, 2008, 06:38 AM

She just dumped me by text. Nearly a year and she dumped me by text. I'm so upset.

bigbird213 · May 15, 2008, 06:53 AM

Do yourself a favor, start NC. For real this time. No excuses.

Don't talk to her, don't look at her, stay away from her and everything associated with you. The longer you hang on and keep talking to her and reminding yourself of her the longer its going to take you to heal.

Neither of you know it, but she just did you a favor.

srulik86 · May 15, 2008, 07:32 AM

I know. Strangely I'm starting to think she was right. That there is no future for us. I will miss her loads, she meant a lot to ,e but in a way it felt a bit stale and was going round and round. I got my whole future ahead of me. And I've been wrapped in a bubble with her for the last 10 months. Where we've split up loads of times before ei know I can get over her, proper this time since I'm not at college anymore. Although I feel completely played by her. I feel like she only kept me around so it wanst awakrd around skool time and now I'm gone she is fussed anymore. That's why I freake dout last night, she seemed very off at points and has semed off the last ocuple of days and you know when you just know your about to be dumped. Well I just knew that this week it was going to happen for some werid reason.

talaniman · May 15, 2008, 09:05 AM

Well I just knew that this week it was going to happen for some werid reason.

Disappear from her life, and get your own that you enjoy and end this BS once and for all.

Same advice still applies.

JBeaucaire · May 15, 2008, 03:25 PM

You actually KNEW things were untenable between you the last two times you broke up. This is just you beating yourself up for something you know full well.

No Contact and getting on with it... absolutely. And there's no subterfuge here, you're not doing it to get her to "realize what she's missed and come crawling back putting you in charge." Ugh, no, you break it off and mean it and move happily and eagerly into your waiting life.

The failure here wasn't the breaking up with her, it was the getting back together twice and having to break up twice more. Be smarter. Only stay with someone who makes you want to be a better person, someone who inspires and admires you. That's the ticket!

srulik86 · May 16, 2008, 12:14 AM

Well the last text I sent her yesterday said 'dont be so haesty in throwing this away. Take a couple pf days space from each other and speak to me then because by then we will miss each other' etc... I think that just pissed her off even more. Have heard nothing form her since. I know she has her show on next week, so I won't bug her at all. Maybe your right. The fact that we keep breaking up is a sign that we really shudnt be 2gther. Ts werid because I do love her but when we do get back 2gther, sometime sit just doenst feel right... which is why I got paranoid and upset on Wednesday night, something was just in the air and it didn't feel right, so I kind of freaked out. She said to me yesterday 'i can't have someone just freak out on me'. Do I text her goodluck for her show on Tuesday morning. Or do I leave it?

WhatN3XT · May 16, 2008, 12:44 AM

You told her what to do , she listened and now you are heartbroken... 80% of the guys on here (including me) did the same thing. We knew in some way that we wanted them (her) to be happy. We didn't know or want to break up, But we thought throw the bait out there to see if she would bite and if she did We would strike. When they admit that breaking up is best, we got confused. But, rememeber we suggested it.

So after the break up, we suddenly give them everything they want. Attention, Afection, Admoration... All the A words we know little about. Just move forward for yourself, and be a better dude for the next girl.

WhatN3XT · May 16, 2008, 01:52 AM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

Do yourself a favor, start NC. For real this time. No excuses.

Don't talk to her, don't look at her, stay away from her and everything associated with you. The longer you hang on and keep talking to her and reminding yourself of her the longer its going to take you to heal.

Neither of you know it, but she just did you a favor.

Amen, and I'm not even a church goer.

Let her have her space and while your at it take some time to reflect about yourself. She may be "perfect in your eyes" as my almost ex was. But it wasn't until I found myself and was happy about what I found that she wanted me back.

serena6878 · May 16, 2008, 02:01 AM

It seems there is always a time for something. Many times people don't expect something to happen, so they unexpectedly feel miserable later. But you already feel a tomorrow, and why not let it be naturally?
When you are destined to leave somebody, you will in time. If you are meant to be together, you will finally. This might be this life's story for you.
If saying hello to someone with a smile is a start, please saying goodbye to her with a smile generously as an ending.

srulik86 · May 16, 2008, 02:28 AM

That's so sad but so true. Me and her have had so much history, been on and off over the last 10 months until eventually when she thought I didn't care anymore, she came running back syaing she realised so much and how she wants to be with me again. We got 2gther and then I make one mistake and she goes running away again. The only time ill see her next will be next Sunday at this big party. So I'm not going to contact her at all, let time heal because it seems to with her and hopefully speak to her then. I won't pled to get back with her. I haven't told her that if that's what she wants then its over, I've just asked her to not be so hastey in ending this and I will give her time and space over the next couple of days to think about things. If I know this girl, which I think I do, the fact that I won't get in contact with her, and she doesn't know what I'm up to, will get her thinking, I reckon. Yes I've hurt her now, just like she has hurt me. But I know she's doing a show on Tuesday so I'm going to just wish her luck Tuesday morning. By then she shud've hopefully calmed down a lot. Although I can't see us ever getting back 2gther now, which is sad, I just wnana talk to her and not end it with a bloody text.

Romefalls19 · May 16, 2008, 05:21 AM

Are you serious? You really think a whole 5 days is going to heal you? Man you are in for a whole heep of heartache. Just leave it alone, if you're going to see her on Sunday at a party, DON'T GO TO THE PARTY! You want to heal, but want to keep pulling out the stitches. Why is this? It's over, she already ended it. There is nothing to think about, girls rarely end things on a quick impulse. She had probably been feeling this way for a long time and this incident was the last straw. I'm glad you don't see you ever getting back together now, go with that. Meet new people, enjoy life and most of all LIVE the life you want, as your own person. They call it a break up because it's broken

bigbird213 · May 16, 2008, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

Don't talk to her, don't look at her, stay away from her and everything associated with you. The longer you hang on and keep talking to her and reminding yourself of her the longer its going to take you to heal.

Originally Posted by srulik86

ive just asked her to not be so hastey in ending this and i will give her time and space over the next couple of days to think about things.

(Bangs head on wall)

talaniman · May 16, 2008, 07:03 AM

although I can't see us ever getting back 2gther now, which is sad, I just wnana talk to her and not end it with a bloody text.

You just go right ahead, and draw this out even further, and hurt yourself even more in the process, and then come back with more hurt, more confusion, and more questions.
Your not the first to ignore well meaning advice of strangers, who have been there done that. Your choice, acceptance, or closure?

srulik86 · May 16, 2008, 10:00 AM

Your all right. I've ben through all this before with her. And your right, obviously this was on the cars because no one if they really loved someone whud end something straight away. Oh well, time to move on... again!

JBeaucaire · May 16, 2008, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by srulik86

your all right. ive ben through all this before with her. and ur right, obviously this was on the cars coz no one if they relaly loved someone whud end something straight away. oh well, time to move on....again!

You seem determined to draw this out, FINALLY admitting one truth while appearing to grab onto another falsehood.

Stop romanticizing "love"! Love is something you feel all over the place. People love indescriminantly. Feeling love or even being IN love has nothing to do in the long run with whether two people should be together. All of THAT is based on real-world things like character, beliefs, habits, lovingness (not feeling love, ACTING love) and the ability to commit.

So, smart/honest people CAN be in love and end it. The same should be the true for you. Next time you're in love, don't let it make it you stupid so you ignore who the girl really is.

Find a girl you like/love... get to know her for real, 6 months or more, then make honest evaluations about your compatibility.