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mommyb123 · May 12, 2008, 11:37 PM

After I'm done with nursing school and when I get set up in my job at a hospital... I really want to adopt a baby, I am not married
And I do not have a boyfriend and I'm not looking for a boyfriend! But my question is
Can you adopt a baby, even if you are going to be a single mom? And is it going to be
Harder to adopt?:confused:

ChihuahuaMomma · May 12, 2008, 11:41 PM

I have heard of single mothers adopting. I do THINK that it would be harder. What are your circumstances? Why are you choosing to adopt? Why so soon after starting a career? Why not wait until a steady relationship?
I will explain my reason for these questions. Why have you settled on adoption? Can you not conceive? Have you thought of a sperm bank? What about International adoption? Are you planning to be a single mother for a long time?

Synnen · May 14, 2008, 06:26 PM

You probably could adopt... but it will be harder.

Not necessarily the legal end of things---but because most of the time, the birthmom is choosing the adoptive parents.

If she wanted her child to be raised in a single parent home, then why wouldn't she just keep the baby in the first place?

If you are truly interested in this, you may have to look into either international adoption or into foster care adoption.

666genia6 · Jun 2, 2008, 07:18 PM

The only way it will be harder is when you prove to the court that you can handle a kid by yourself. That's what happened when my mom adopted me.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 2, 2008, 07:39 PM

It is allowed, and as with any adoption, there will be home inspections, you will have to prove you will have the time, ability to take care of child.
Example, when child is sick, will you be able to stay home and care for the child, since most day care does not take sick children.
In the middle of your work shift, child is at school, they call you have to leave work and pick child up.

Same answers that a married couple where both work, will have answers, but they will question you on facts to a good home.

PreciousAngel · Sep 13, 2008, 07:17 AM

Originally Posted by mommyb123

after im done with nursing school and when i get set up in my job at a hospital... i really want to adopt a baby, iam not married
and i do not have a boyfriend and im not looking for a boyfriend! but my question is
can you adopt a baby, even if you are going to be a single mom? and is it going to be
harder to adopt?:confused:

OMW!! Wow, I feel like I just read my own bio! That is exactly what I'm doing, and have done research on this! My name is Sandra, and I'm going to college to be an RN, and hoping to work at Riley Children's Hospital in Indy! I am 28 years old and have never been married, although I have been in a few relationships, and one that wasn't good by any means! I have seen how my own dad has treated my mom and his children! And by seeing all of that, I don't want to have children on my own with a husband! I don't want to get married, because I don't want my children or I to be in an abusive relationship! I feel like WE has single people can adopt! I feel like it is going to be a much harder stuggle than married people but if WE have a made up mind WE CAN DO IT!! I feel like there's a lot of single people out there that raise children on their own, and do a great job at it, now why can't we? As soon as I finish school, I'm not planning on adopting right away, but planning on buying a bigger house, and then start foster care! I feel like that may open doors to be able to adopt, and I'm praying about it all too! I would LOVE to adopt out of the United States, but I'm just praying for God's Will on where I adopt from! Anywhoo... my e-mail address is **** email address deleted **** if you would like to write me sometime! I would LOVE to hear from you! Just title it Single Mom or something to that effect so I don't delete automatically! God Bless, and I'm praying that God will fulfill the desires of your heart! ~ Sandra ~

div2wice · Sep 23, 2008, 06:45 PM

Of course you can! Its not like back in the day where they only allowed happily, married rich couples adopt !
There are so many different families these days, the adoption agencies and CPS have really opened their "requirements". What they are most concerned with is your support system, and your ability to support a child on your own. You'll go through the same process as everyone else (paperwork, homestudy, MORE paperwork!)
I don't imagine it being any more difficult. I would think a private adoption through an agency would be easier than going through CPS, only because they're usually so picky & difficult.
BEST of luck to you,

Synnen · Sep 24, 2008, 05:54 AM

I would like to point out again that a private adoption, through an agency, would probably be HARDER for a single person than through CPS.

Very few adoptions are closed these days, and most of the time the birthparents are choosing the adoptive parents. I know that part of MY decision of parents was that they be a married couple because there was no point in the child going from MY single parenthood to someone else's single parenthood. I mean, if you're going to go through the emotional wreckage that is choosing adoption, why in the world would you choose to not give your child every possible advantage you could--including TWO parents.

liz28 · Sep 24, 2008, 06:59 AM

I know this thread is a few months old but yes a single mom can adopt. Someone I knew gave their child up for adoption and she chose a single mom. It was going be between her or a lebesian couple. She wasn't sure about the single mom at first but she was put at ease because she had a good support group from her family. Even after the adoption was final she talk with the adoptive mom and saw her daughter. I haven't seen her in a while but when I last saw her she was happy with her choice.

Adoption will take time and you must be fianacially stable, and have a place for you and the child. Of course there are other guidelines and all agencies do a criminal background check and other checks good luck. Being a parent is hard but rasing someone else child is a blessing.

div2wice · Sep 24, 2008, 05:53 PM

Wow, I have to respectfully agree. Being a single parent does have its challenges, however you should not be judged or downed because you won't, or can't give that child 2 parents. I know plenty of people who were raised by one parent and they are incredibly successful and lovely people. I also don't consider adoption an "emotional wreckage".. yes, it's a hard thing to go through but it's a blessing to know that you are giving a child a life, a home, love that they were not given by someone else, or were not able to receive from someone else. I strongly disagree that a single parent is not able to provide a child the best of everything -- most single parents have LOADS and loads of family and friends support -- that child will be so loved and have the best opportunities despite only having one parent.

Synnen · Sep 25, 2008, 05:54 AM

Then you're obviously on the ADOPTING side of the triad, if you can't see what a huge emotional mess it is for the birthmother.

I chose adoption, eyes wide open, no regrets, and I've still had YEARS of counseling to deal with it. I'm glad my daughter has a great life, but because so many people do no understand that it's a loss equal to a death in the family, it's a bit hard to just "get over" and "be happy that she has a great family". I AM happy she has a great family--but I deliberately chose a FAMILY.

Considering that I was 17 at the time I chose adoption, I think I had a bit of an excuse to be a little prejudiced towards two parent families. Again, I know that my thought was "Well, if I want her to grow up in a single parent home, then I should just KEEP her". I had family for support, and resources I could fall back on as well. I just wanted her to have TWO parents.

Not saying single parents can't do it. Just saying that when I chose adoption, part of my REASON for choosing adoption was so that she'd have TWO parents.