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    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #1

    May 14, 2008, 03:06 PM
    Medical Facts
    I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!!

    HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.




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    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an eff icient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products




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    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made of grain. Bottoms up!




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    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.




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    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good!




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    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

    A: You're not listening... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?




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    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.




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    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

    A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!




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    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.




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    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!




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    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

    And remember:
    'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #2

    May 14, 2008, 03:25 PM
    LOLOLOLOL
    I agree with all of these and I am stickin' to it!! ;)
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    May 14, 2008, 04:15 PM
    LMAO... I'm going to drink some more grain :)
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #4

    May 14, 2008, 04:20 PM
    LMAO!! Better run to the fridge to grab another can of grain BRB!! :p
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #5

    May 14, 2008, 04:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178
    LMAO................. I'm going to drink some more grain :)
    Well my Friend dear... I forbid you to do that at 9:40am... but after that you're good to go! LOL!

    J9... You and I can have all of the grain we want right now! We need all the vitamins we can get! ;)
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    May 14, 2008, 04:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck8
    Well my Friend dear...I forbid you to do that at 9:40am...but after that you're good to go!! LOL!!
    .
    Bugger... you have my Time Zone logged :)
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #7

    May 14, 2008, 04:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178
    .
    Bugger...................you have my Time Zone logged :)
    This answer is totally correct!. LMAO!! :p
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #8

    May 14, 2008, 04:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck8
    This answer is totally correct!!......LMAO!!! :p
    Edit: I had to spread the rep, but I would've rated you a 10... HAHAHAHA!

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