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bigbird213 · May 13, 2008, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by movinrightalong

Quick question. Does nc get harder before it gets easier?

Often times, yes.

Don't get discouraged, hang in there bud!

friend4u178 · May 13, 2008, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by movinrightalong

Quick question. Does nc get harder before it gets easier?

At the beginning NC is hard , but as you start to realise that the Break up is final and there is no going back it gets easier by the Day.

Hang in there

movinrightalong · May 13, 2008, 09:29 PM

Thanks guys.

Knowing that really helps.

friend4u178 · May 13, 2008, 09:32 PM

Just remember "movin"

NC is a journey to get yourself better and to start your new life , it takes time but eventually you'll get there and feel on top of the world again.

BUT
If you break NC you go back to square one and the Journey starts again.

bigbird213 · May 14, 2008, 04:08 AM

I'm moving along now at almost four weeks in.

Had a dream about us last night, it was weird, but it was all about me and her. I was teaching her something and there was a possibility that we were both going to die (weird huh?) so I woke up a little upset about me never seeing her again if she were to die. Whatever, stupid dreams.

Lately I've been starting to get nervous about her contacting me via email again as it has been a long time. I know she wants to be friends with me in the future and I'm thinking she might try to push it and I'll end up with an email within the next week.

Another question, related to that last paragraph. If you remember there was an issue of $50 between the two of us. When I asked her about it, she said not to worry about it or send it to her once I start working in the summer. We'll not that I'm working I'm thinking of sending her a check in the mail. Bad idea?

AshleyStar · May 14, 2008, 04:12 AM

I can't even remember what day of N/C I'm on... he text me about money he owes me on Monday and I had to reply so if we're being very very strict it's day 2. However I haven't initiated contact since Friday (where I told him I couldn't live without him and was ignored) so I suppose I'll say day 5.

I'm soooooooo so tempted to break it right now. I think it's because I'm sitting around revising and my mind is wandering. I just find it hard to come to terms with it because it was so sudden. There was no falling out of love gradually. I know I just pushed him too far and he's the type of person to just shut down emotionally instead of moping around (like me)

Talk sense into me!

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2008, 04:27 AM

The sun is shining and the birds are singing, don't know what that has to do with anything lol.

You a video game player by any chance? Well here's the way to look at it, imagine your playing a game against your friend only they decide they don't want to play anymore. The game becomes useless cause it takes two people.

HOWEVER

Remember that the game also has a longer and more fulfilling single player mode that doesn't require anyone else but you

Wow that kind of helped me lol

AshleyStar · May 14, 2008, 04:34 AM

I'm not a video game player but yeah I can see your point. Very insightful :)

I think I'm in denial, I just can't believe that he doesn't want "to play" anymore because he was so into me and he just switched off because of a silly fight. I just feel like there must be something I can do

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2008, 04:38 AM

That was the same as my ex, she broke up with me cause we had an argument one night, I mean that was it, an argument, over text no less.

Next thing I know she's kissing another guy and telling me she can't get over what I did!

We deserve better because would you end it over something so stupid? No, that proves that either we are more mature or that we loved them a lot more than they did us.

nickshehe · May 14, 2008, 08:08 AM

Lol I like your video game way of seeing things..
It's like making love and its amazing..
But then again masturbation is equally amazing..
No? :D
Too graphic?

--
I was thinking how if by coming on these forums in some way reminds us that there is an EX - every day.. I mean obviously I got tons of help from here and I've become addicted to trying to help people. But on the other hand I've mentioned my ex or reminded of my ex every day for the past 2 months.
Is that really healthy?

talaniman · May 14, 2008, 08:47 AM

I've mentioned my ex or reminded of my ex every day for the past 2 months.
Is that really healthy?

Yes, as you have an outlet to vent feelings, and frustrations, without your friends running from you, or hiding under their bed, or even worse, throwing rocks at you. Keep in mind that those choices are not healthy for you. Just keep in mind, your going to think about them anyway, so just come here, and we can throw cyber rocks at you. ADVICE: Duck!!

nickshehe · May 14, 2008, 08:50 AM

Hah, I don't think I've let you down yet tal :]
You are somewhat the fatherly figure around here.. anw I hope you're right..
Anyway I must stop procrastinating and start revising. I shall catch you all later.
Keep the NC flowing everyone

Romefalls19 · May 14, 2008, 09:20 AM

Nickshehe, I have been doing NC since January and I still think of my ex a lot, not so much as a "I want her back" feeling as a "how could one person change so quickly" I no longer harbor hate or animosity towards her but rather disgust that she has went so downhill. It actually hurt me to hear how her friends even think she made the wrong choice and then them saying "Rome, you should try talking to her, she might listen to you" and then me telling them "I'm sorry, but sometimes people can't save everyone. I'm not her superman, she made her bed and chose to lie in it."

bigdee · May 14, 2008, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Nickshehe, I have been doing NC since January and I still think of my ex a lot, not so much as a "I want her back" feeling as a "how could one person change so quickly" I no longer harbor hate or animosity towards her but rather disgust that she has went so downhill.

Same here. I was in the "I want her back" mode but am slowly drifting to being bitter about the whole experience and I don't know if it is wrong or not but but it is helping me with the NC

ihatewestseneca · May 14, 2008, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Nickshehe, I have been doing NC since January and I still think of my ex a lot, not so much as a "I want her back" feeling as a "how could one person change so quickly" I no longer harbor hate or animosity towards her but rather disgust that she has went so downhill. It actually hurt me to hear how her friends even think she made the wrong choice and then them saying "Rome, you should try talking to her, she might listen to you" and then me telling them "I'm sorry, but sometimes people can't save everyone. I'm not her superman, she made her bed and chose to lie in it."

I feel the same way... NC since January... and because of my current douchebag discovery, my thoughts of "i want her back" and "how could she do this", have turned to "well, she wants to be seen with that guy... so.... yeah..."

classicrocker · May 14, 2008, 10:42 AM

Back to day 5 no contact and it is the farthest I have gotten, its nice actually, next goal is 10

Romefalls19 · May 14, 2008, 10:43 AM

Yea, my ex has turned a dark corner from what people tell me. I see her every now and then at work and she looks so fake and then when I come around where she is she looks at me and starts smiling. Normally this would make it easy for a lot of people to break NC but I won't simply because of all the advice given and received throughout this forum. The guys who have been there from the beginning, I truly thank you as I know this wouldn't be possible without everyone's harsh but true words

So from that, guys trust me, sticking to NC will heal better than you will ever imagine

chuff · May 14, 2008, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

The guys who have been there from the beginning, I truly thank you as I know this wouldn't be possible without everyone's harsh but true words

Sometimes the harshest words seem that way at the time but they are really the best words for you to hear.

Romefalls19 · May 14, 2008, 11:28 AM

Oh yea definitely Chuff... I still remember when I first met Tal... I was like "man this guy is a d*ck" Now, I am giving advice just as harshly as he gave me. Which looks bad at first, then you reread it and you're just amazed at how correct it is.

nickshehe · May 14, 2008, 11:39 AM

It was just a general question, I mean I know that NC is the way to go.. I've been faithful to it for 40 odd days now.. and much like you guys it's not the "I want her back" period.. it's the somewhat disgust that came with her sudden change.
I set her an expiry date to begin with -where I said if she comes back within 2 weeks then I would accept her, if she's a day late then it's over whatever she does.. She made contact within 2 weeks but her intentions were friendly( as they always are ) so its been NC since. :]
I just hope I don't bump into her any time soon.. I wouldn't break the NC but it would disrupt the process. She lives in a different city, both in the UK and back home but we have mutual friends back home so we shall see... anywho I got a whole awesome summer planned out for me -no time to worry about this.