[princess-shrek]

That was so true, but its so hard letting go of someone who you love and have been with for so many years as I have.

Reading this gives me guildlines to stick to but its so hard to let go and finally move on.

[talaniman]

We all realize how hard it is to move on, plenty of pain involved for sure, and it sucks. But you will feel much better going through the pain, and learning how to cope with your loss, than running away, and never learning your lesson. Your in the right place, with the right people, so hurt and heal, with the rest of us.

[confusionmax]

Well said. Kind of hits home for a lot of people. :)

[dunnowhat]

Hiii Jolie Noire... G T Ds Une Relation D'amour Avec Un Mec Ke J'aimai Bcp Mais Il M A Laisse Tombe Car G Fais Une Grande Faute... si Tu Peux Entrer Ds Mon Profile Et Lit Ce Ke J'ai Ecrit Et Repond Moi Stp

[AmExp]

Yeah that was a great post! I needed this. Like poster #1 said... I am going to need this on an index card!

[mustard_seed]

Everyone should study these wise and fruitful words of truth. I don't know about the rest of you but copy/paste into MS Office, then print will do me just fine. It's going on my wall tonight! Many thanks jolienoire!!

[jrebel7]

We were able to rekindle our old flame because of the way we left eachother....

Joli, this one statement speaks volumes!

[godsbabygirl267]

Yes! Sticky it is. Wow. You just wiped out any and all questions I had about which one to choose or who to take back, etc. etc. I don't need all that! Ill be me!

[mustard_seed]

Yes! Sticky it is. wow. You just wiped out any and all questions i had about which one to choose or who to take back, ect. ect. I dont need all that! Ill be me!

Your quote: True or False, All is fair in Love and War??
My answer is yes. By any means.;) if the outcome is worth the battle. Go get 'em.:mad:

[movinrightalong]

jolienoire,

You have given great advice and insight to how we have or are feeling after the breakup. I with flip back to this often as I continue my healing and take these word to heart. As much as I would like to have hope that there is the possibility of reconciliation, I have to believe and expect that it won't happen. Maybe one day, I won't want to anyway.

She left me, now I have to leave her.

Thank you.

[jrebel7]

jolienoire,

You have given great advice and insight to how we have or are feeling after the breakup. I with flip back to this often as I continue my healing and take these word to heart. As much as I would like to have hope that there is the possibility of reconciliation, I have to believe and expect that it won't happen. Maybe one day, I won't want to anyway.

She left me, now I have to leave her.

Thank you.

Powerful statement! I think part of why break ups are so difficult is because the choice is made by one, generally and the other person feels they had no choice. Your statement allows good emotional health because too many times we choose to remain (in our hearts and in our heads) in a non-existant relationship.

Good for you and thanks for sharing that.

[Bicho]

U said everything I needed to hear! Now I have a lot to do in my lonliness and thank the man who has hurt me for he gave me the chance to get my 'lost' self.Thank you!

[jolienoire]

Glad that I can help and sorry for the delay in response I was on vacation, We all have been heartbroken but it's a break up not a break down... these feelings will fade.. and you will look back and be thankful that they happened it's the only way we will ever learn..

[spion_kop]

Yea, my girlfriend broke up with me 1 month ago and started dating another guy two days later. I realized the kind of person that she is and it helped me a lot. Now, I'm just focusing on myself and wanting what's best for me. If I can better myself and learn from my mistakes, women will want to be with me instead of me wanting to look around.
As somebody said before, if you love yourself, others will love you. Plus if you are really meant to be with your ex, it will happen. Why bother controlling fate/destiny if it's not in your hands?

All you can do is live your life and enjoy every moment as if it could be your last. Life is too short to think about the past and hold onto something that may not be there.

[jolienoire]

Yea, my girlfriend broke up with me 1 month ago and started dating another guy two days later. I realized the kind of person that she is and it helped me a lot. Now, I'm just focusing on myself and wanting what's best for me. If i can better myself and learn from my mistakes, women will want to be with me instead of me wanting to look around.
As somebody said before, if you love yourself, others will love you. Plus if you are really meant to be with your ex, it will happen. Why bother controlling fate/destiny if it's not in your hands?

All you can do is live your life and enjoy every moment as if it could be your last. Life is too short to think about the past and hold onto something that may not be there.

Well said! Seems you have learned from the ex...

[movinrightalong]

Well,

I have reread this post several times and come to one solid conclusion...

If you are trying to get someone back, don't bother. The result is usually the same as before and you will go through it all over again.

Is he/she worth it?

Think about that for a minute. What is it that you really miss? Do you miss the relationship? The comfort of companionship? Or how about the reasons that it ended?

Relationships end because one or both parties have given up on it. That being the case, instead of trying to get them back, get yourself back so that you find someone who won't give up on the work that the both of you have put in.

[jrebel7]

"Transition is not because
Something is wrong.
Transition is because
Something is over."

Sometimes people grieve over an ended relationship beating themselves up emotionally and mentally over what they did wrong. They assume if they can figure that out, then they can fix it. I think the quote above is helpful if that is what one is going through in their mind.

[magicofmakingup]

Very nice post.

I agree totally with you jolienoire.

- To get something back you have to let it go first
- Is it worth to keep wanting the ex back ? If yes go for it with a plan
- Remember and re-discover things you liked and didn't do for decades
- become the admired person again you where when you start dating (your ex)
- go out, enjoy life and date again, even if you want to get back with your ex
- people love to get what they can't have or what is difficult to get, so don't run right away back to your ex if he/she call, let him desire you and wish you back.

You have to LOVE yourself in first place, before you can love anybody else.

G.

[jrebel7]

And if I can add just one thing I have learned:

"You can only love others to the degree you love yourself"

If you are involved with someone and they just always seem to come up a little short of what you need emotionally, it doesn't always mean that they don't love you, they probably love you as much as is within them to love anyone. But even so, if they don't meet your emotional needs, it is probably a good thing that one of you ended the relationship.

Sometimes we feel we have messed up something when it is actually just that the other person at a young age, was not given what they needed and therefore didn't learn to love to any great depth. Just realizing this, helps somewhat to see it could not work, no matter how much you work at it. Sort of gives you a release from feeling YOU can fix it. It just isn't always fixable through no one's intentional fault.

[starlite1]

Thank you so much Jolienoire... absolutely beautiful. The tricky part for me, at 39 years old, is trying to love myself... I never have... too much insecurity. But what you wrote is lovely :)