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annsumm · Apr 28, 2008, 02:27 AM

This is a bit long-winded but I need to explain fully ! - I met a really nice guy last summer, we dated for about 3 months and did get intimate as it felt right at the time. He was really busy as he works nightshifts 2 weeks on/off and has a house to renovate at the same time. Anyhow, he also had some health problems at the time and the relationship seemed to fizzle out and we eventually stopped communicating with each other. Neither of us ended it really.
At the beginning of April, I bumped into him again and he asked me out for a drink. When we were out, he apologised to me and said that he felt he let me down a bit when we were seeing each other because he had so much going on and he was worried about his health. I agreed to go out to the cinema with him the weekend after. We were meant to go to the cinema on that Sunday evening and he messaged me in the morning saying that he didn't think he would be able to make it as he had had an allergic reaction to something and his face was red and swollen. I just replied saying 'ok, no problem, we can do it another time'. He then messaged back and apologised, said he was sorry for letting me down and suggested next weekend instead (yes, he is on nights this week !). He did call me and message me several times in that week between our first date and the cancelled date, but I get this nagging feeling that I am going to be let down again by him. He is still working the nightshift, still in the middle of the house renovation and is also an avid soccer fan with a season ticket. I just feel that I will always be at the bottom of his priority list. Should I just give it some time, keep my feelings in check and see what happens ? I really like this guy, I am not going to pressure him for his time, I want him to want to give me his time but don't really know the best way to go about it.

black111madonna · Apr 28, 2008, 03:19 AM

Did he ever say something nice to you about who you are and what he likes about you?
Or you still need to know each other better?
He has a full schedule and is living his life... I understand it can be difficult for him to make space for having a girlfriend but if he really likes you he will make some space.
Its good that you're not going to pressure him... but I would honestly ask him what he feels about you and if there is a chance you two can get together.
Always try to be honest about your feelings and it's the fastest way to know where you stand!

= Take whatever is coming to you... let the beauty of it move you..! =

annsumm · Apr 28, 2008, 03:40 AM

Yes, he was always full of compliments ! He once said that he couldn't believe what a good combination I was - easy going, ace personality and good looking. This is partially what I liked about him - that he liked me as a person.

black111madonna · Apr 28, 2008, 04:17 AM

That sounds great and he must be really interested in you!
Maybe he just don't know how to make time for you although he really wants to.
Girl just talk to him about it and your feelings for him but be honest about what kind of time you want to spend with him. I hope the two of you can find a way to get closer and enjoy each other cause sports and work don't love you back haha! He will have to make choices to spend quality time with you.

Good luck for love's sake !

annsumm · May 11, 2008, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by annsumm

This is a bit long-winded but I need to explain fully ! - I met a really nice guy last summer, we dated for about 3 months and did get intimate as it felt right at the time. He was really busy as he works nightshifts 2 weeks on/off and has a house to renovate at the same time. Anyhow, he also had some health problems at the time and the relationship seemed to fizzle out and we eventually stopped communicating with each other. Neither of us ended it really.
At the beginning of April, I bumped into him again and he asked me out for a drink. When we were out, he apologised to me and said that he felt he let me down a bit when we were seeing each other because he had so much going on and he was worried about his health. I agreed to go out to the cinema with him the weekend after. We were meant to go to the cinema on that Sunday evening and he messaged me in the morning saying that he didn't think he would be able to make it as he had had an allergic reaction to something and his face was red and swollen. I just replied saying 'ok, no problem, we can do it another time'. He then messaged back and apologised, said he was sorry for letting me down and suggested next weekend instead (yes, he is on nights this week !). He did call me and message me several times in that week between our first date and the cancelled date, but I get this nagging feeling that I am going to be let down again by him. He is still working the nightshift, still in the middle of the house renovation and is also an avid soccer fan with a season ticket. I just feel that I will always be at the bottom of his priority list. Should I just give it some time, keep my feelings in check and see what happens ? I really like this guy, I am not going to pressure him for his time, i want him to want to give me his time but don't really know the best way to go about it.

Just an update - it isn't going to work. He just thinks it is OK to text me on the spur of the moment every few weeks to go for a drink. I told him I would like to spend a little more time with him and he said that he is finding it hard to fit me in and around his schedule!! I told him to get in touch if he feels, in the near future, that he might be able to free up some of his time for me and have left it at that :(

talaniman · May 11, 2008, 08:12 AM

The reason its not good to start new post, about the same issue, is it gets confusing to us poor readers. Having said that, its obvious he is to busy for you, and that's your cue to disappear from his life. No more reaching out, or contact. You tried it, didn't work, so regroup.